How to be patient in relationships with many people, acquaintances and strangers, how not to get angry when you are taken out of peace of mind? How to be patient and overcome all difficulties with a sober mind and restrained emotions? Many people are looking for answers to these questions.

Patience and work - everything will grind

In all ages and times, patience has been a sign of virtue; today it is difficult to find it among us. Fast pace life, various troubles, huge amount responsibilities make people callous and less and less calm. It’s difficult for us to stand in line for 5-10 minutes; we swear and express anger at others.

We have stopped being patient with children, we swear at them, and hurt them for no reason. Lack of patience destroys families and communities and makes people heartless and nervous.

This term indicates that you need to keep your nerves in check and control negative emotions. Due to the lack of this character trait, we complain about capricious children, difficult character boss, demanding husband, nosy neighbors, inability to put up with financial difficulties. Many factors force us to be impatient, to ask for what we have not yet earned in this life.

It is this imbalance that leads to nervous exhaustion, apathy, depression, which is difficult for us to understand simple truth that every person is destined for certain things in a certain period of time. And if your neighbor already has a luxury car, this does not mean that you need to nag your husband and throw tantrums because he doesn’t make enough money, and therefore you cannot buy the same one for yourself.

This attitude will very soon lead to the fact that the family will simply collapse, you will lose the most precious thing you have. As for the car, perhaps in a year or two it will appear in your life, but will this expectation bring joy?

How to become patient?

As you can see, there are enough motivational sources to think and become more patient. What needs to be done to correct it:

• curb your inner enemy, think about what actions and actions cause an attack of nervousness;
• change attitude towards environment, all people are individual, everyone has their own vices and shortcomings, there is no need to put everyone under the same brush, it is important to develop a philosophical approach to life: what cannot be changed, you just need to accept;
• you need to be more attentive to your actions, in a fit of intolerance you need to count elephants, flowers on the wallpaper, recite a poem in your mind, and only then continue the conversation;
• don’t think “how it should be”, as a result we will be disappointed, nervous and lose our temper with the people around us, life is so unpredictable, it often puts us in situations in which it is difficult to influence events;
• if you lose patience in a conversation with your spouse, stop yourself mentally and say: “I am calm, I have the patience to listen to him to the end!”;
• think more about life, draw conclusions after each negative situation, analyze so that next time you can act wisely and correctly;\
• can't stand it interpersonal relationships on those around you, learn to cope with emotions that are seething and want to break out, take care of yourself and the world in which you live, give people warmth, kindness and calmness, and put impatience in a distant dark box!

If you find it difficult to control yourself, then sign up for yoga and meditation courses, contact specialists who can find the reason for your “riot” and direct negative emotions in the right direction.

To be more patient, you need to use principles breathing exercises, teach yourself to mentally “stop at turns” when the situation makes you angry. Love yourself and pamper yourself after every right decision.

You restrained yourself and didn’t be rude to your husband - great, you deserve your favorite chocolate bar, don’t lose your temper with passengers in transport - buy yourself the long-awaited lipstick. All these actions will soon lead to the fact that you will forget that you once broke down and shouted at people.

Find time for an exciting and new activity, let it require perseverance and patience from you, analyze the situation, feel how good and calm your soul is when you have not offended or offended anyone.

For those who find it difficult to mentally stop themselves, you can come up with some kind of talisman that will protect against failure. In a fit of intolerance, it will be enough to touch it and put your thoughts in order.

Sometimes passive observation from the outside will allow you to soberly assess the situation, control yourself, and analyze what happened. What would have happened if I couldn’t restrain myself and also started shouting or insulting others. What helped me restrain myself and avoid nervous tension?

Attention: A common sign of intolerance is anger, and therefore it is important to learn “not to let it go free,” so as not to destroy everything that has been built over the years. The limit of patience is different for each person, and therefore you should not test it. Be kinder and nicer to others, and everything will be fine with you.

Motivate yourself on the path to improvement, do not be upset when failures occur. Be confident and patient, for this the Lord will reward you with interest. Take care of yourself and your life!

When people lose loved ones, or find themselves in a difficult family situation, when everything in life turns out the way they want, the hardest thing at this moment is not to fold their arms, but to continue to fight. What prevents you from putting all your effort into solving the problem? Most likely, this is that you have repeatedly tried to look for a way out of the situation, but each time your ideas failed, you were never able to achieve what you complained about. After this comes complete devastation, you don’t want to wait at all, because you stop seeing the point in waiting. It seems that time is passing, but the problem remains, and in your head it grows and spills out with greater force. A person may become more aggressive, or, on the contrary, withdraw into himself. How to avoid this, and learn to wait, endure and steadfastly overcome all the hardships of life?

1. Believe in yourself. Whatever happens around you, first of all, you must believe in yourself and your strength. Don't give up! People always want to get results right away, to see and feel success in the first minutes, but there is no such thing as quick success.
2. Find the benefit. While other people around you will lose control of themselves, you will be able to behave calmly and restrainedly, and soberly assess the situation. Therefore your life position it will be much stronger.
3. Protect yourself. Restraint and patience will allow you to withstand the offender or survive a tragedy with less psychological trauma. The calmer you react to what is happening, the easier it will be for you. Controlling your emotions is already a small victory, and it will lead you to solving everything life problems, which will certainly meet you along the way.
4. Be patient with others. You will not always like the way other people behave towards work, towards life, towards you. But in this situation you just need to learn to react calmly. If you are internally worried and believe that a person is soulless, terrible and did a bad thing, then just conclude for yourself that you will never do that.
5. Be patient with yourself. This is much more difficult than tolerating others. Many people, when something doesn't work out, feel disgusted with themselves. They try to find flaws and dig deeper and deeper, taking on their emotions, pulling out all the suffering. But such behavior will not make it any easier. You must understand that it is impossible to always do the right thing. Any mistake can be corrected, but if you made it, don't hate yourself for it. Don't let your frustration drag on for weeks or months. Nobody says you have to be insensitive. You can allow yourself to be upset today, but tomorrow you should be looking for a way out of this situation with a fighting spirit.

Always think about positive result. Prepare yourself for the fact that all troubles will pass and come better times. The main thing is not to run ahead of the locomotive, try to be a restrained, patient and balanced person. Then you will definitely succeed!

True patience never runs out. And what bursts is the bubble of personal ambitions

Hello,

How to learn humility and patience? You probably remember the wonderful expression “ entertainment psychology" Even here you met him several times.

Such psychology to the question how to learn patience, answers something like this. " Try to distract yourself. Think about something else. Try counting to ten.»

It's funny, isn't it?

After all, it is clear that a person who really strives to gain humility does not want to “try to switch to something pleasant.” Because it is an escape from the problem. You know, when everything is raging inside, and I am outwardly very positive.

Today we will take a different route.

It's difficult to learn something without understanding how it works. It is impossible to learn humility if you do not know what it is. It is impossible to acquire the skill of patience without understanding that patience can be true and false.

What is the difference between dull patience and real humility?

How to learn patience?

Eat stupid patience. Eat conscious. What's the difference?

Dumb patience is when we internally disagree with what we have.

We endure stupidly and tensely, thinking: we need to be humble, we need to endure, this is my lesson.

However, this is not the most promising position in life. The inner position of the student gives us much greater potential. The position of a student is when we have a value system according to which everything that comes into life is favorable. Why?

Because it comes from a higher source.

• Read more -

And when there is this conviction, this understanding of how life works... that there is a Higher loving principle, and I am a part of it... and everything that is given to me is given for my growth and development - if there is this conviction, pay attention, patience becomes something completely different.

It becomes soft. No hate.

It all depends on whether there are initial beliefs in our character about how the world works and what my relationships are in it.

There is patience with hatred. There is patience with love. Big difference.

So, if there is no position of a student - no matter what we do, doing psychology or other esoteric practice - we will not get any true results. Because the position itself is false.

Even patience - good quality, which is glorified in different cultures- But if this is patience with hatred, then the more I endure, the more angry I become about what is happening. Have you noticed?

And how will such patience end?

Explosion. With a splash. Maybe even inappropriate aggression.

How to learn humility?

True humility is based on this understanding of how the world and life work. On the fact that the most favorable thing is here.

You just need to open up and accept. Look for a lesson in problems, not condemn.

Every situation teaches us. And a manifestation of pride is when I don’t like something, asking the question “Why is this?” But the position of humility is a different question: “Why, why did this come into my life?”...

How do you perceive this?

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Based on the training by Oleg Gadetsky “Freedom and self-realization. Transformation of negative beliefs"

All people need to develop patience. It helps you feel more energetic and calm. It improves the ability to listen and empathize, as well as respond more effectively, not get into quarrels, and not spoil relationships with loved ones.

Impatience resembles anxiety. It is very tiring and destroys your nervous strength. How anxiety and impatience can be managed. Here are some ways:

1. Breathe deeply. Consciously managing your breathing can help you slow down your thinking. While someone is asking you for something for the third time, you breathe deeply and give yourself time to calm down rather than get annoyed.

2. Change focus. If you feel yourself getting irritated, try to change your focus to things that give you positive emotions and a sense of peace. You have the right to choose what to focus your attention on.

3. Every time you feel your impatience growing and you start lashing out at others, ask yourself why. Study your own thinking, not the flaws and absurdities in others.

Let's continue to practice patience:

4. Revamp your communication strategies if you have difficulty understanding. Remind yourself that everyone is different. Take the opportunity to learn new strategy. Learn to understand others, look at things from different angles.

5. Make a list of goals related to your patience. See what makes you irritable. Brainstorming possible ways to respond will help you see the possibility of other responses that you can develop and develop into a more patient person.

6. Think about times when others practiced their patience. Remember how it positively affected you. This awareness can motivate you to be more patient with others.

7. Remember and analyze situations in which others were not patient with you. How did you feel? Do you want others to feel this way?

8. Mentally reward yourself for practicing patience or keep a journal of your victories. You should be proud of yourself for becoming more balanced and patient.

Are you stuck in traffic or just can't muster the strength to start a new project? Impatience and lack of composure are completely natural qualities that appear when something goes wrong. Learn to control yourself and your emotions - this will help you become calmer, happier and more patient, no matter what. unpleasant situation you will find yourself!

Steps

Learn to be patient with the situation

1. Pay attention to your thoughts and physical sensations when you feel impatient and irritable. If you are in a stressful situation, pay attention to thoughts that may indicate your impatience, such as: “This is how it always happens!” or “How he annoys me!” and so on. When you become aware of these thoughts, stop and analyze your physical sensations. You'll likely be able to recognize the signs of impatience right away and then work to suppress them. Some physical signs are listed below:

   • muscle tension;
   • restless, shaky legs or feet;
   • severe tension in the hands;
   • rapid breathing;
   • rising heart rate
   • irritability and anger.

2. Find out what caused the irritability. Once you realize you're impatient, it's time to figure out why. Think about irritability and ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” Here are a few common reasons anger:

   • Reality does not meet your expectations. For example, you suddenly got stuck in a traffic jam, there were no free seats in the restaurant - all this makes you irritated and disappointed.
   • Keep in mind that people don't always behave the way you expect them to. For example, you become impatient when someone is in front of you in line. grocery store chats too long with the cashier or collects her purchases too slowly.
   • When you can't quickly learn a new skill. For example, we often get angry when we cannot understand a new mathematical formula or algorithm in programming, even if we know that it is quite difficult.
   • When we can't control our thoughts. You may be infuriated by the fact that you cannot control the thoughts and emotions that arise in your mind (even if you have accepted that there is nothing you can do about it).

3. Suppress impatience before it builds up. By taking a few simple steps, you can break this cycle before your emotions get the better of you, giving you the opportunity to choose the right strategy behavior. So, you can take your wallet or phone out of your pocket and put it in another pocket. Take chapstick or a small piece of paper out of your bag and simply hold it in your hand (or put it in your pocket).

   • Focus on your movements and physical sensations, on the object you are holding - this will help distract you from negative emotions.

4. Take 5 deep breaths to slow your heart rate down a bit. Close your eyes and take a deep breath (“chest” and “stomach”). Hold your breath for a second and then exhale slowly. Feel your body calm down, allow your mind to feel this relaxation and banish negative thoughts.

   • Taking a few deep breaths will not only help you relax your body, but it will also give you the opportunity to pause and calm yourself before you say or do anything rash.

5. Try to look at the situation from a different angle. Most of the situations that cause us to lose patience and become angry are those that are not so easy to change (if the solution was that simple, you would probably have found it already). Instead of focusing on your feelings of powerlessness, try focusing on what you can change: your attitude towards the situation. Tell yourself: “I can’t escape the situation, but I can improve it.”

   • If you're frustrated about having to write an essay, you can try focusing on getting it done. environment more enjoyable. Play some music to help you concentrate, make yourself some tea or have a snack.
   • You can also think about what really bothers you about the situation, such as the fact that writing an essay is taking a long time. It might be worth putting the clock out of sight so you don't have to pay attention to how quickly time is passing.

6. Try to find something good or interesting in this situation if you can. If you can't change a situation, the best thing you can do is change your attitude towards it. Ask yourself to find something good in what is happening now, and then focus on that rather than on your anger. It will be hard at first, because like many negative emotions, anger and impatience make us feel strong and powerful in that particular moment, but if you force yourself to focus on positive thoughts, it will help you feel much better in the long run.

   • For example, if you're stuck in traffic, chat with another passenger or (if your car has Bluetooth connectivity) call a friend or family member. Try finding a new radio station or insert a different CD and sing along!

   Work on being more patient in the future

   1. Keep a journal to understand what makes you angry and impatient. Take your little one with you notebook and take notes every time you feel angry and angry. Write down the date and time it happened and describe how this situation makes you feel physically and emotionally. After 2 weeks, read your diary and think about what situations most often cause you to have outbursts of rage.

      • For example, you may realize that your feelings are often caused by disappointment in other people. You can write: “June 1, math lesson, 14:00. I got angry because Dima solved the problems too slowly. My muscles started to tense up.”
      • Journaling about situations that make you feel angry and impatient has the bonus of allowing you to filter emotions, which will help you feel calmer and less stressed.

   2. Come up with a strategy for yourself that will help you confront those situations that make you irritable. Ask yourself what you can do to counteract the impatience these situations make you feel, and then write down step-by-step “instructions” that you can follow anywhere, anytime.

      • For example, if you often feel irritated when communicating with your friends and family, the behavior strategy could be as follows: “Take 3 deep breaths. Explain why you feel irritated. Take a break and go for a walk if you still feel irritated.”
      • Get creative and try a few different algorithms to see what works best. Give yourself time to change, understand that it won't happen overnight, but over time you can fix it.

   3. As soon as you start to feel irritable, try a short meditation. Try to look at this feeling as an opportunity to focus on your breathing and be alone with yourself. Stand up straight or sit in a chair and breathe deeply, paying attention to the pace of your inhalations and exhalations. Close your eyes if possible (or focus on a stationary point in the room).

      • Do these short meditation sessions several times a day, even if you don't feel irritable or angry. The relaxation that comes with meditation will help you respond more calmly when an unpleasant situation arises.

   4. Exercise regularly to relieve stress. Try to do these exercises every day, even if it's just walking or jogging up and down the stairs. Sports exercise suppresses the production of cortisol (the stress hormone), which promotes relaxation after stressful situations.

      • If you have time, try doing more vigorous physical activity, such as jogging, swimming, cycling or light strength exercises.
      • Sometimes with the help physical exercise You can suppress your irritability at the moment. If you're feeling angry about a project, get up from your desk and take a five-minute walk.
      • If you're stuck in traffic, try moving your arms and head to the rhythm of the music.

   5. Be prepared to deal with any irritability caused by the long wait. Many people become impatient when they have to wait a long time (for example, in line at the doctor's office or in a restaurant with slow service). If you can distract yourself with something while you wait, it will be much easier to remain calm.

      • For example, you might take a book, crossword puzzle, or pocket game with you when you know you'll likely have to wait for a while (for example, when going to the doctor or to a crowded supermarket).
      • In addition, you can try to distract yourself with improvised means. Listen to the conversations of those around you, watch other drivers stuck in traffic with you, read newspaper and magazine headlines while you sit in line.

   6. Ask for help if you feel like you're about to explode. Think about what tasks you could outsource and talk to a friend, family member or colleague about whether they can help you. By relieving yourself of some responsibilities and responsibilities, you will reduce your stress levels and reduce the risk of becoming angry and irritable.

      • For example, if you are frustrated about completing a project, talk to your boss or professor about whether you can ask a colleague or fellow student for help.
      • Say, “I've worked quite a lot on this project, and it's too much work for me alone. Maybe you could allow me to choose a partner with whom we can bring this project to completion?”
      • Don't be shy about asking for help, especially when it comes to your emotional health. More often than not, people are willing to help, and you can relax a little if you share the work with someone else.

   Accept what you can't change

   1. Learn to suppress your irritability in the future. When you're in the heat of the moment, the key is deciding to do or not do something, and thinking about what might happen under each option - this fuels your irritation. Instead, ask yourself, “Where am I going in such a hurry?” Even if you resolve this situation a little later, you will still do it and everything will work out great.

      • In fact, in emergency situations this point of view will not be correct. For example, if you are waiting for an ambulance to arrive to help an injured person, the time it arrives will be a very important factor.
      • In a situation like this, try to channel your irritability into something you can do (perhaps provide comfort to the victim or find out additional information from the ambulance operator).

   2. Be kind to yourself about your shortcomings. If your irritability is because you're upsetting yourself, take a step back and realize that you're expecting too much of yourself. Striving to improve yourself and learn new skills is great, but beating yourself up and beating yourself up will only make you lose confidence. Instead, pay attention to your shortcomings and see how you can correct or work around them (maybe even turn them into a positive!)

      • The feeling of impatience with ourselves is caused by the fact that we often think: “The faster, the better,” which is not always true.
      • By going slowly and deliberately, you will begin to understand the essence more deeply, and you will be able to really enjoy it.
      • Remember that most things and activities take time and effort. Be patient with yourself - this best gift, which you can make for yourself.

   3. Accept the fact that your desires are not always fulfilled. Very often, anger and irritability come from disappointment that people or situations do not live up to our expectations. Instead of expecting certain things, try shifting your focus from waiting to enjoying pleasant surprises. Accept that people and situations will never be perfect, so try to accept all life's twists and turns with humor.

      • For example, instead of getting annoyed when your friend accidentally spills a drink, remember that it's just an accident and no one is perfect. Take a moment to take a deep breath, calm down, realize that everything is okay, and move on.

   4. List the things you feel grateful for every day. Research has shown that people who consistently show gratitude in everyday life, are more likely to show patience and control themselves better. Every day, think of 3-4 things you are grateful for. Take a moment to savor the feeling of gratitude and focus on that feeling.

      • For example, you can show gratitude for having a roof over your head, dreams and goals for the future, and friends who love you.