Conflict situations in interpersonal relationships in short. Types of conflicts

24.09.2019

Tension between colleagues at work? Not getting along with peers at school? Or maybe a storm is brewing with friends? Do you think that a collision cannot be avoided? Wait, we will reveal to you all the ins and outs of the conflict and you will understand that everything is fixable. Even if you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, remember that there is a solution to the problem! In order to avoid exacerbation, you need to recognize the enemy, pushing to deteriorate relations, in person. Let's take a look at what interpersonal conflict is. , where does it come from and what are the ways to solve it.

Controversy and incident

An inalienable condition for the emergence of any conflict is a conflict situation, that is, different positions of two (or more) parties on any issue. What are the signals of conflict in interpersonal relationships? are always difficult: there is a striving for opposite goals, and the use of various means to achieve them, and conflicting desires or incompatible interests. But these contradictions do not always lead to an explosion in communication.

In order for conflict situations to develop into a conflict, the impact of external phenomena is necessary: a push or an incident.

“As soon as you learn to mirror a conflict situation - not plunging into it head over heels, but contemplating it from the side - then believe me, it will certainly be resolved with minimal losses for you! You just need to put yourself in the place of another person and imagine: what would you yourself do or want to do in this case? " - Vladimir Chepovoy, author of the book "Crossroads".

An incident, or, as it is also called, a pretext means certain actions of one of the parties that offend, even accidentally, the interests of the other party. The reason may also be the activity of a third party, which had not previously been involved in the situation. For example, the caustic remarks of a friend when you were just fired.

The formation of an incident can be influenced by both objective reasons (independent of people) and the usual "did not think" (when the psychological characteristics of another person are not taken into account).

Conflicts between people and their causes

If the reason for the escalation of the conflict situation has nevertheless arisen and an obvious conflict appears on the face (because - hereinafter, the reduction of "conflict"), you should act deliberately and carefully. To begin with, it is worth determining how many people are involved in k. Based on the number of participants, k. Are divided into intrapersonal, interpersonal, intergroup.

Now we are interested in conflicts in interpersonal relationships - this is k. Between people during their psychological and social interaction, the collision of individuals in the struggle for their interests. Interpersonal conflict is the most common type of K.

Reasons for interpersonal conflicts:

1) socio-psychological:

rumors, gossip, slander and other distortions of information;
inconsistency in relations between people (after all, no one likes it when a colleague suddenly begins to take on the role of a commander, when no one gave him such powers, for example);
bias in assessing yourself and others;
psychological incompatibility;
craving for power.

2) personal (they are also psychological):

various moral and ethical attitudes;
low emotional intelligence;
psychological instability;
inability to empathize;
low or high expectations;
excessive impressionability;
bias in certain character traits.

The problem with interpersonal relationships is that each side may have its own reasons, and not even one. This makes it difficult to diagnose relationships, but how boring it would be to live if everyone was perfect!

In this case, the dynamics of K. can be different:

sluggish (for example, between colleagues who are not very comfortable working with each other);
protracted (generational conflict);
sharp (quarrel between friends or partners).

Conflict signals

After we have decided on the reasons due to which conflicts appear in interpersonal relationships, we can proceed to the obvious manifestations of contradictions. Signals to. In interpersonal relations (according to H. Cornelius) are:

1) Crisis

emotional extremes, expressing in behavior unusual for a person;
loss of control over feelings;
confrontation and wrangling;
manifestation of violence, physical strength;
parting with a loved one.

any misunderstanding can turn into confrontation;
communication with a person becomes unpleasant and gives negative emotions;
there is a preconceived opinion in relation to the other side;
the attitude towards a person is distorted and the motivation of his actions is distorted.

3) misunderstanding

one thought is sitting in my head, from which it is impossible to get rid of and which leads to nervous tension;
the desire to even try to understand another person disappears, his words are distorted in the mind of the listener.

4) Incident

hidden (internal irritation): participants realize that their relationship is tense, but this is not expressed externally in their communication;
an open problem of interpersonal relations: k. comes out and is expressed in the active actions of the parties directed against each other.

5) Discomfort

Inside there is a feeling that something is wrong.

Remember, it's easier to avoid conflict than deal with its consequences later. Watch for signals to prevent deterioration in your relationship. After all, as Hans Richter wrote: “An intelligent person will find a way out of any difficult situation. The wise will not be in this position. "

In addition to the signals analyzed by the Australian psychologist, there are so-called precursors that slip through the relationship between people. For example:

a person gossips behind your back or insults in your face without hesitation;
or, on the contrary, avoids communication, personal contact, direct eye contact, completely breaks communication;
topics for conversation change: no personal involvement, does not share his problems, does not ask about your affairs, communication now consists of formal topics (about the weather, about minor events);
begins to be late or not at all to come to meetings, which were agreed in advance.

In addition to exacerbating ties between two or more acquaintances, the problem of interpersonal relations in the team as a whole is also important. Signals of its appearance are:

a series of dismissals of their own accord;
negative atmosphere and psychological background, collisions between employees;
decrease in the productivity of the work process;
the appearance of gossip, the division of the team into small groups;
joint boycotting of the leadership and its instructions.

Conflict behavior strategies

Conflicts in interpersonal relationships have been, are and will be. But there are also ways to resolve them. First, one should realize that there is a conflict. And then - choose a way to solve this problem.

The strategy of behavior is the orientation of a person or a group of people in relation to., The choice of a certain tactics of behavior in the prevailing conditions.

K. Thomas and R. Kilmann typified five basic styles of behavior in a conflict situation, based on the classification of the degree of goal achievement and the measure of taking into account the enemy's interests:

1)Avoidance / Evasion- the desire not to participate in the decision to. and to defend their own interests, the desire to get out of the conflict environment.

2) Adaptation- Trying to soften to. and preserve the relationship, without resisting pressure from the other side (especially common between subordinates and the leader).

3) Rivalry / competition- achieving their desires to the detriment of others.

4) Compromise- finding the golden mean through mutual concessions.

5)Cooperation presupposes a joint search for a solution that meets the interests of all parties.

Some psychologists separately distinguish: suppression and negotiation, but such an addition has not been widely adopted.

Optimal conflict resolution

Let's take a look at the timeline for resolving the conflict.

Obviously, the best way to resolve tensions is through collaboration. With this approach, there is attention both to one's own interests and to those of others. It turns out that both conflicting parties benefit, which is pleasant in the end for everyone. Other methods and techniques are ineffective. Any other approach is like pulling the blanket over yourself - someone will be left out. This means that k. Will not be resolved to the end.

What does collaboration look like in practice?

To begin with, it is worth discussing with the enemy whether he wants to resolve the controversial issue or not. If the answer is in the affirmative, you can proceed to the way out of the prevailing conditions. To do this, you should adhere to certain rules:

1) Deal with the reasons leading to the conflict with the help of mutual questions. Emotionality aside, the discussion should be as objective as possible.

2) Do not give up your position, but do not force the other side to change his point of view

3) Choose your words carefully during negotiations so as not to aggravate the situation.

4) The subject of the conversation should be a specific problem, not a person.

5) The main thing is to be sincere. Tell the person who offended you about your emotions and experiences.

6) Accept your partner's emotions, try to stand in his place and feel what he is going through. It will help the other person and his motives better.

7) If you feel that the confrontation is fading, forgive your opponent, let him know about it.

8) If the partner does not believe that the conflict is over, continue the conversation until there are no unresolved issues. If the problem cannot be solved together, then work it out within yourself so that it does not cause you problems in the future. Forgive yourself and don't get hung up on the situation.

Now you know how to prevent a conflict and how to get out of a difficult situation if it does arise. Forewarned is forearmed. We hope this knowledge will be useful for you and will play a positive role in your life.

4.1. Interpersonal conflicts

Interpersonal conflicts can be viewed as a clash of individuals in the process of their relationship. Such collisions can occur in various spheres and areas (economic, political, industrial, socio-cultural, everyday life, etc.). The reasons for such clashes are infinitely varied (from a convenient place in public transport to the presidential seat in government structures). As in other social conflicts, here we can talk about objectively and subjectively incompatible, or opposite (mutually exclusive) interests, needs, goals, values, attitudes, perceptions, assessments, opinions, ways of behavior, etc.

Objective factors create the potential for conflict to arise. For example, the emerging vacant position of the head of a department can cause a conflict between two employees if both are applying for this position. The social (impersonal) relations between potential participants in the conflict, for example, their status-role positions, formed at the time of the beginning of the conflict, can also be considered conditionally objective.

Subjective factors in interpersonal conflict are formed on the basis of individual (socio-psychological, physiological, ideological, etc.) characteristics of individuals. These factors to the greatest extent determine the dynamics of the development and resolution of interpersonal conflict and its consequences.

Interpersonal conflicts arise both between those who meet for the first time and between people who are constantly communicating. In both cases, the personal perception of the partner or opponent plays an important role in the relationship. The process of interpersonal perception has a complex structure. In social psychology, the process of reflection involves at least three positions that characterize the mutual reflection of subjects:

1) the subject himself, what he is in reality;

2) the subject as he sees himself;

3) the subject as seen by another.

In the relationship of subjects, we have the same three positions from the side of another subject of reflection. The result is a process of doubled, mirror mutual reflection of the subjects of each other (Fig. 1).

An American psychotherapist Eric Berne proposed a scheme of interaction between subjects similar in structure to a reflexive one, but somewhat different in content (Fig. 2).

In this scheme, the basis of the conflict is the various states of the subjects of interaction, and the "provocation" of the conflict - intersecting transactions. Combinations "a" and "b" are conflicting. In the combination "c" one of the subjects of interaction clearly dominates the other or takes the position of a patron, the other subject is content with the role of a "child". In this combination, conflicts do not arise due to the fact that both actors take their positions for granted. The most productive in communication between people is the position "g" (B * ^ B). This is communication of equal people, not infringing upon the dignity of either side.

Adequate perception of a person by others is often hampered by already established stereotypes. For example, a person has a preconceived idea of an official as a soulless bureaucrat, a red tape, etc. In turn, an official may also develop a negative image of a petitioner who is undeservedly seeking special benefits for himself. In the communication of these individuals, not real people will interact, but stereotypes - simplified images of certain social types. Stereotypes are formed in conditions of a lack of information, as a generalization of personal experience and preconceived notions adopted in society or in a certain social environment. Examples of stereotypes can be statements such as: "all salespeople ...", "all men ...", "all women ...", etc.

The formed, possibly false, image of another can seriously deform the process of interpersonal interaction and contribute to the emergence of conflict.

An obstacle on the way to finding agreement between individuals can be a negative attitude that has formed in one opponent in relation to another. Attitude - the readiness, predisposition of the subject to act in a certain way. This is a certain orientation of the manifestation of the psyche and behavior of the subject, the readiness to perceive future events. It is formed under the influence of rumors, opinions, judgments about a given individual (group, phenomenon, etc.). For example, an entrepreneur has previously made an appointment with a colleague from another firm to conclude an important business agreement. In preparation for the meeting, he heard negative comments from third parties about the business and ethical qualities of the prospective partner. Based on these reviews, the entrepreneur has formed a negative attitude and the meeting may either not take place or not give the expected results.

In conflict situations, a negative attitude deepens the split between opponents and makes it difficult to resolve and resolve interpersonal conflicts.

Often, misunderstanding (misunderstanding of one person by another) becomes the cause of interpersonal conflicts. This is due to different ideas about an object, fact, phenomenon, etc. “We often expect,” writes Maxwell Moltz, “that others will react to the same facts or circumstances in the same way as we do by doing the same the very conclusions. We forget that a person does not react to real facts, but to his own ideas about them. " People have different ideas, sometimes diametrically opposite, and this fact should be taken as a completely natural phenomenon, not to conflict, but to try to understand others.

Interacting with people, a person protects, first of all, his personal interests and this is quite normal. The resulting conflicts are a reaction to obstacles to achieving goals. And the subject of the conflict will largely depend on how important the subject of the conflict is for a particular individual. conflict setting- predisposition and readiness to act in a presumed conflict in a certain way. It includes the goals, expectations and emotional orientation of the parties.

In interpersonal interaction, an important role is played by the individual qualities of opponents, their personal self-esteem, self-reflection, individual threshold of tolerance, aggressiveness (passivity), type of behavior, sociocultural differences, etc. There are concepts interpersonal compatibility and interpersonal incompatibility. Compatibility implies mutual acceptance of partners in communication and joint activities. Incompatibility - mutual rejection (antipathy) of partners based on the mismatch (opposition) of social attitudes, value orientations, interests, motives, characters, temperaments, psychophysical reactions, individual psychological characteristics of the subjects of interaction.

Interpersonal incompatibility can cause emotional conflict (psychological antagonism), which is the most difficult and difficult to resolve form of interpersonal confrontation.

In the development of interpersonal conflict, it is also necessary to take into account the influence of the social and socio-psychological environment. For example, conflicts between gentlemen in the presence of ladies are especially cruel and uncompromising, since they affect the honor and dignity of opponents.

Individuals face in interpersonal conflicts, protecting not only their personal interests. They can also represent the interests of individual groups, institutions, organizations, labor collectives, society as a whole. In such interpersonal conflicts, the intensity of the struggle and the possibility of finding compromises is largely determined by the conflicting attitudes of those social groups whose opponents are representatives.

Options for the outcome of interpersonal conflict

All causes of interpersonal conflicts arising from the collision of goals and interests can be conditionally divided into three main types.

First- presupposes a fundamental clash, in which the realization of the goals and interests of one opponent can be achieved only by infringing on the interests of the other.

Second- affects only the form of relations between people, but at the same time does not prejudice their spiritual, moral and material needs and interests.

The third- represents imaginary contradictions that can be provoked either by false (distorted) information, or by misinterpretation of events and facts.

Interpersonal conflicts can take the form of:

? rivalries- striving for domination;

? spore- disagreements about finding the best solution to joint problems;

? debate- discussion of a controversial issue.

Depending on the causes of the conflict and on the methods of conflicting behavior of opponents, an interpersonal conflict can have the following types of outcome:

1) care from the resolution of the conflict, when one of the parties does not seem to notice the contradictions that have arisen;

2) smoothing contradictions when one of the parties either agrees with the claims made to it (but only at the moment), or seeks to justify itself;

3) compromise- mutual concessions of both parties;

4) escalation of tension and the escalation of the conflict into an all-encompassing confrontation;

5) power option suppression of a conflict, when one or both parties are forced by force (the threat of the use of force) to accept one or another variant of the outcome of the contradiction.

Prevention and resolution of interpersonal conflicts

If a conflict situation has arisen, then before "getting involved in a fight", it is necessary to seriously weigh all the possible "pros" and "cons" in the alleged conflict and ask several questions:

Are there really contradictions over which to conflict?

Is it possible to solve the problems that have arisen in other ways, without resorting to conflict?

Are there guarantees that you will achieve the desired results in the upcoming conflict?

What will be the cost of winning or losing for you and your opponent?

What are the possible consequences of the conflict?

How will the people around you react to the conflict?

It is advisable that your opponent in the alleged conflict analyzes the conflict situation and possible ways of its development from the same positions. A comprehensive analysis of the conflict situation helps to find mutually acceptable solutions, prevents open confrontation between the parties and helps not only maintain normal relations between former opponents, but also establish mutually beneficial cooperation between them.

You can also avoid conflict by avoiding direct contact with people in conflict, with those who annoy you with something, those who annoy you. There are different types of so-called difficult people, with whom communication is fraught with conflicts. Some of these types are:

1) aggressive - bully others and get annoyed themselves if they are not listened to;

2) Complainants - they always complain about something, but they themselves usually do nothing to solve the problem;

3) silent people - calm and laconic, but it is very difficult to find out what they think and what they want;

4) super-compliant - they agree with everyone and promise support, but the words of such people are at odds with their deeds;

5) eternal pessimists - they always foresee failures and believe that nothing will come of what is being planned;

6) know-it-alls - consider themselves superior, smarter than others and demonstrate their superiority in every possible way;

7) indecisive - hesitate to make a decision, because they are afraid to make a mistake;

8) maximalists - they want something right now, even if there is no need for it;

9) hidden - harbor resentment and unexpectedly attack the opponent;

10) innocent liars - mislead others with lies and deceit;

11) false altruists - supposedly doing good, but "wearing a stone in their bosom."

If, due to certain circumstances, it is not possible to avoid communication with difficult people, then an appropriate approach should be used in relations with them. All these approaches, according to Jeanie Scott, are built on the basic principles:

1. Realize that the person is difficult to communicate, and determine what type of person he is.

2. Do not fall under the influence of this person, his point of view, attitude; stay calm and neutral.

3. If you do not want to shy away from communicating with such a person, try to talk to him and identify the reasons for his difficulties.

4. Try to find a way to satisfy his hidden interests and needs.

5. Use a collaborative approach to resolving conflicts that begin to emerge after attributing the behavior of a difficult person to a certain type, neutralizing it or taking control. "

One of the methods of conflict prevention is self-withdrawal from the conflict situation. In accordance with this method, you should avoid solving problems that do not affect your interests, and your participation in solving them is not conditional. For example, someone is highly irritated and emotionally agitated. You are trying to help this person with the best of intentions, even though you were not asked to. As a result, you can get involved in someone else's conflict and become an object for a “burst of release” of negative emotions.

If the interpersonal conflict could not be prevented, then the problem of its settlement and resolution arises. One of the first steps in this direction is the fact of recognition of the contradictions existing between individuals. There are times when one of the opponents has not yet fully realized the reasons for the problems. When both sides of the conflict are aware of the existence of contradictions, a frank conversation helps to more clearly define subject of dispute, outline boundaries of mutual claims, to reveal the positions of the parties. All this opens the next stage in the development of the conflict - the stage of joint search for options for its resolution.

Joint search for a way out of a conflict situation also presupposes the observance of a number of conditions, for example:

Separate the real causes of the conflict from the incident - the formal reason for the start of the clash;

Focus on existing problems and not on personal emotions;

To act according to the principle "here and now", that is, to solve the problems that directly caused this conflict, without recalling other controversial events and facts;

Create an atmosphere of equal participation in the search for possible options for resolving the conflict;

Speak only for yourself; be able to listen and hear another;

Observe a respectful attitude towards the personality of the opponent, talk about facts and events, and not about the qualities of a particular person;

Create a climate of mutual trust and cooperation.

If negative tendencies prevail in an interpersonal conflict (mutual hostility, resentment, suspicion, mistrust, hostile moods, etc.) and opponents cannot or do not want to enter into dialogue, then the so-called indirect methods of resolving interpersonal conflict... Let's take a look at some of these methods.

1. Method« release of feelings". The opponent is given the opportunity to express everything that hurts him, and thereby reduce the emotional and psychological stress provoked by the conflict. After that, the person is more predisposed to looking for options for constructive settlement of the conflict situation.

2. Method« positive attitude towards personality". Conflicting, right or wrong, is always a sufferer. We must express our sympathy to him and give a positive description of his personal qualities tina: “You are an intelligent person, etc.”. In an effort to justify the positive assessment voiced in his address, the opponent will seek to find a constructive way to resolve the conflict.

3. Intervention method« authoritarian third". A person who is in an interpersonal conflict, as a rule, does not perceive positive words expressed by his opponent. Someone "third" who enjoys confidence can assist in such a matter. Thus, the conflicting person will know that his opponent does not have such a bad opinion of him, and this fact can be the beginning of a search for a compromise.

4. Reception« naked aggression". In a playful way, in the presence of a third person, opponents are allowed to "talk about painful things."

In such conditions, the quarrel, as a rule, does not reach extreme forms and the tension in the relations of the opponents decreases.

5. Reception« forced hearing of the opponent". Conflicts are required to listen carefully to each other. In this case, each, before answering the opponent, must reproduce his last remark with a certain accuracy. It is quite difficult to do this, since the conflicting people hear only themselves, ascribing words and tone to the opponent, which in reality did not exist. Opponents' bias towards each other becomes apparent and the tension in their relationship is abating.

6. Exchange of positions... Those in conflict are offered to express their claims from the position of their opponent. This technique allows them to "go" beyond their personal grievances, goals and interests and better understand their opponent.

7. Expanding the Spiritual Horizon of the Disputants... This is an attempt to bring the conflicting people beyond the subjective perception of the conflict and help to see the situation as a whole, with all possible consequences.

An important step on the way to resolving the conflict is the very willingness to resolve it. Such readiness appears as a result of a reassessment of values, when one or both conflicting parties begin to realize the futility of continuing the confrontation. During this period, there are changes in attitudes towards the situation, towards the opponent and towards oneself. The conflicting attitude is also changing.

“Being willing to solve a problem,” according to Helena Cornelius and Shoshana Fair, “does not mean that you are wrong. This means that you have abandoned your attempts to prove that the other side is wrong: you are ready to forget the past and start all over again. "

To successfully resolve a conflict, ultimately, it is necessary that both sides show a willingness to resolve it. But if such a desire is shown by at least one side, then this will give more opportunities to the other side for a counter step. In an interpersonal conflict, people seem to be greeted by mutual grievances, claims and other negative emotions. It is rather difficult to take the first step towards resolving the conflict: everyone believes that the other must give in. Therefore, the willingness to resolve the conflict, shown by one of the parties, can play a decisive role in resolving the conflict as a whole.

From the book Kindergarten and Preparation for School the author Biryukov Victor

Advice 34 Conflicts await in kindergarten How to avoid them Conflict resolution is, frankly, not childish business. Here's an example. It was somewhere in the early 1980s, that is, in the USSR. Dad, who lives in a distant province, got hold of a squirrel coat in Moscow at a price of as much as 80 rubles - a lot of money for

From the book The Lifestyle We Choose the author Förster Friedrich Wilhelm

From the book Our Good Teens author Litvak Nelly

Conflicts are our weakness Let's look at ourselves honestly and without hypocrisy. You don't have to be Kurt Vonnegut's cynicism to admit that humanity loves conflict. If we were mistreated at work, if the neighbors are noisy behind the wall after midnight, if we are against everyone

From the book Mom and Baby. From birth to three years the author Olga Pankova

From the book Jewish Children Love Their Mother the author Rabinovich Slava

From the book The most important book for parents (collection) the author Gippenreiter Yulia Borisovna

From the book How to Raise a Healthy and Smart Child. Your baby from A to Z the author Shalaeva Galina Petrovna

Conflicts Conflict occurs when a person has two mutually exclusive desires. Weak desire often gives way to a stronger one. But sometimes the problem of choice is very serious; a person often has to decide what is preferable at the moment. To kid

From the book Conflictology the author Ovsyannikova Elena Alexandrovna

4. Conflicts in various spheres of the human

The Kid knows better from the book. Secrets of Calm Parents author Solomon Deborah

4.2. Family conflicts The family is the oldest institution of human interaction, a unique phenomenon. Its uniqueness lies in the fact that several people interact in the closest way for a long time, numbering tens of years, that is, over

From the book All the best methods of raising children in one book: Russian, Japanese, French, Jewish, Montessori and others the author The team of authors

Seminar lesson 5 Topic: "Intrapersonal conflicts" Plan 1. Basic psychological concepts of intrapersonal conflict :? Z. Freud and his followers ;? K. Levin ;? A. Maslow ;? W. Frank ;? A. Leontiev. 2. Definition and types of intrapersonal conflicts. 3. Reasons and

From the author's book

Seminar lesson 7 Topic: "Family conflicts" Plan 1. The role of the family in the education and upbringing of children. 2. Causes, typology and structure of family conflicts. 3. Functions and consequences of the conflict in the family. 4. The main ways of resolving family

From the author's book

Seminar lesson 8 Topic: "Conflicts in the organization" Plan 1. The structure and functions of a modern organization. 2. Classification of organizational conflicts. 3. Preventing, Resolving and Managing Conflict in an Organization References (Main) 1. Antsupov A. Ya.

From the author's book

Seminar lesson 10 Topic: "Interethnic conflicts" Plan1. The concept of "ethnos" in the sociological dimension. 2. Sources of interethnic conflicts. 3. War as one of the forms of interethnic conflict. 4. The main ways of resolving interethnic

From the author's book

Seminar lesson 11 Topic: "Political conflicts" Plan1. The concept and typology of political conflict. 2. Political regime and socio-political contradictions in society. 3. Problems of achieving social harmony in society. Literature (main) 1. Aniskevich A.S.

From the author's book

Conflicts Between Siblings It may take your child some time to realize that his little sister is not a doll to squeeze tightly. You need to touch her carefully, and not hug too much. It is up to parents to provide

From the author's book

Do not involve in adult conflicts, do not get frustrated With children, relationships and actions of adults are not discussed, children are not criticized in the presence of other people, relatives. Yiddish mame thinks so. Also, when children are not complaining about others, they do not unite with a child against

We live in a society, therefore common occurrence that occurs almost every day is a conflict.

A conflict that involves at least two participants is interpersonal. We will consider examples and methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts in the article.

What are the pros and cons of conflict? Find out about it from ours.

Psychology and concept

What is interpersonal conflict?

Interpersonal conflict is conflict between individuals in the course of their psychological or social interaction.

Usually, accusations are exchanged during such events.

During interpersonal conflict the parties absolve themselves of all the blame shifting responsibility to the partner with whom there is a conflict.

This does not solve the situation, since the accusation itself ignites the conflict, and it flares up with even greater force.

Examples from history, from literature, from life

Interpersonal conflicts haunt humanity from its origins. The Bible also tells about the two brothers Cain and Abel. Cain envied his brother and killed him.

Causes of occurrence

The most common cause of interpersonal conflicts is intersection of the interests of one individual with the interests of another... The most common situation: one person on the bus is hot, he tries to open the window, but the wind blows from the window to another, and there is a conflict between personalities.

Of course, this situation can be stopped right away if people could listen to each other and compromise. For example, ask someone to change seats, do everything calmly without mutual accusations.

Unfortunately, it's pretty hard to plead guilty the easiest way is to blame someone.

People often conflict over resources when there is not enough for everyone.

When people find themselves in difficult conditions ( lack of resources for life), they can descend to the level of savages.

Lack of something often appears in everyday environment too. For example, in a prestigious job there is multi-person competition into place. It is very likely that a conflict will arise on this basis.

Also, the cause of the conflict becomes human intolerance: to someone else's opinion (even if it does not personally concern anyone), appearance or behavior. One person can be quite active in communication, other people are unacceptable.

Differences in cultural values also provoke conflicts. This is especially common in families where the values of one generation are at odds with the values of another.

At work, people often clash over differences in position in society... The boss can order to do what the employee thinks is wrong.

If two employees have different ideas about the goal of the team, there will be a conflict on the basis of everyday life, because everyone sees their own way to the goal.

On the causes of interpersonal conflicts in this video:

Classification: types and types

Can allocate motivational conflicts that affect the plans of the participants.

For example, in the family there are different views on the upbringing of the child, on his future, the husband or wife is against how the spouse spends money.

The boss, for example, can cancel the employee's vacation, transferring it to another period. If a interests are incompatible then it can lead to dramatic development.

It becomes difficult to come to an agreement, for example, if the family has one TV, one channel is the wife's favorite series, and the other is the decisive match of the husband's favorite team. It becomes impossible to combine interests, and if the conflict occurs often, the marriage will fall apart.

Exist cognitive conflicts when two participants have a diametrically opposite value system. The value system reflects what is most important for a person at the moment.

If we are talking about work, then a person decides whether his work will be only a source of money or a path to self-realization.

A conflict can arise if the spouses different ideas about the goals of the family... The entire value system includes all those attitudes that are most important (for example, philosophical and religious).

Of course, it is not necessary that people will conflict if they have different values.

But a conflict will surely happen if one of the individuals encroaches on the values of the other, doubts their importance.

If two people have an opposite view of things, then it is possible that when trying to change another person conflicts will occur. This also applies to those situations when people tend to re-educate adults, change their views and habits.

Role conflict occurs when one or both parties to the conflict neglect the rules of behavior and communication. This may be a violation of etiquette (although no one talks about it, but this goes without saying in society) or a violation of an agreement in business.

This can lead to claims, mutual recriminations. People can break the rules of conduct, since they are not yet familiar with them in the new team.

If a person deliberately violates the rules of behavior, then this may indicate that he does not like the current situation, and he wants to reconsider it.

Often a child in adolescence begins to be rude to his parents. This may be due to the fact that he do not agree with the existing rules.

Features of the

The first side of interpersonal conflict is object of dispute.

The second side is the psychological part (the level of intelligence of the participants, upbringing).

Exactly this distinguishes interpersonal conflicts from political.

This makes the conflicts between individuals so different, unlike each other. People are drawn into the conflict completely, showing all their characteristics in it.

Quite often, the psychological side obscures the subject of the dispute, it becomes not so important, everything turns into mutual reproaches. In conflict neither one of the parties does not try to understand the opposite, transferring all responsibility to the opponent, removing it from himself.

Spheres of manifestation

Areas of manifestation of conflicts are most often divided into 3 areas: family, work collective and society.

They go along the lines of spouse-spouse, spouse-children, spouses-relatives. Possibly defiant behavior of one of the parties.

Often in family conflicts there is a place to be material side and mutual reproaches lack of funds. There may also be restrictions on freedom, attempts to control one of the spouses. There may be sexual problems in relationships with spouses.

IN work teams conflicts go along the lines of boss-subordinate, worker-worker, worker, non-worker.

Conflicts may arise due to disagreement with the distribution of resources, responsibilities.

There is also psychological side, where an employee or boss finds out interpersonal relationships, culture of behavior, etiquette.

In society, conflicts arise most often along the lines of man-man, man-society. The most common reason is insufficient culture of behavior individual individuals.

How it arises: the mechanism of development

Every person have their own interests and aspirations... If, in the process of achieving the goal, another person gets in the way, then a conflict will arise. There is a break in the connection between the individual, since consciousness immediately analyzes him as an obstacle on the way to the goal.

If the relationship is more expensive than the goal, then the conflict can be resolved. If the goal is more important, then the confrontation will heat up.

In a conflict, a person will try to prove his case, bring a mountain of arguments and devalue the arguments of the other side.

Conflict is filled with emotions, and not everyone can control them. The parties to the conflict are skeptical of any compromise believing that their solution is the only correct one. Internal attitudes exacerbate the conflict, and it flares up even more.

How does interpersonal conflict arise? Learn from the video:

What positive character traits are there? you will find on our website.

How to behave?

First of all, in a conflict, you need to assess who is in front of you.

If a random person from the street who scolds you, then you can just get away from the conflict.

For example, if you accidentally step on your foot, you just need to apologize.

If a person is close to you, and he has any specific claims, then you need them listen and offer your solution. But for this it is necessary that the person is in a calm state, because agitated people often do not want to listen to other people's arguments.

If a person offers a solution, does not agree to a compromise even in a calm state, then here you will be offered 2 options for the development of events.

In the first option, you agree with the person and accept his arguments, in the second option, you will have to say that his proposal is unacceptable, and you will have to stop touching on this issue or even end the relationship.

Ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts in this video:

Resolution methods and principles of overcoming

As famous psychologists said, "We fish for a worm, although we ourselves love strawberries." For the opposite side of the conflict to go to its resolution, you need to give her what she wants, and at the same time, to promote her point of view.

One of the principles of overcoming interpersonal conflict is not personal communication, but correspondence, fortunately, modern means of communication allow you to do this. Offer more and listen more. Try to ask your partner questions about how he sees a way out of the conflict.

If you prove that your partner's arguments are wrong, your conflict can from business to psychological. A person will simply refuse to accept your innocence, he will defend his point of view out of principle, even realizing that he is wrong.

How to change your character? you will find on our website.

Prevention methods

Prevention consists in observance of the rules of decency, etiquette.

You need to be polite with everyone so as not to give cause for irritation.

In work you need adhere to the chain of command, strictly fulfill their duties.

You should never be harsh, even if you think you are right. You should never conflict in a raised voice, it is better to get away from the conflict and continue to clarify the subject of the dispute in a calm atmosphere.

Choosing suitable partners in communication and family life is also a good prevention.

After all, it is quite difficult to conflict with someone who not inclined to sort things out, and takes all business decisions with a cool head.

Although interpersonal conflicts have haunted us all our lives from the beginning, we hope that you will be able to resolve them constructively and without serious consequences.

How to avoid conflicts? Example:

Interpersonal conflict is a fairly common phenomenon that occurs every day. We live in a society that dictates to live by its own rules. The values and interests of different people do not always coincide with each other. If this does not happen, and important components of life are infringed, a conflict arises. It requires an immediate solution. After all, until the significant causes of the conflict are eliminated, it will not go away on its own. Otherwise, the tension only grows, and the relationship deteriorates.

Interpersonal conflict involves at least two participants in the process. Interpersonal conflict is formed under the influence of such reasons as incontinence, aggressiveness, unwillingness to yield to one's opponent. The conflict is especially complicated by the fact that each person seeks to defend his interests in the dispute and does not care at all about his partner. Few people in a critical situation are able to think about others. Often, people who are in conflict inflict severe mental pain on each other and do not even notice it. Behavior often becomes uncontrollable and inadequate in relation to the very reason that led to the conflict. Conflict resolution always requires a person to change their behavior and take responsibility for what is happening.

There are more than enough reasons for the development of interpersonal conflict. The reason can be both weighty arguments and completely trivial cases. Conflict between people sometimes flares up so quickly that they do not have time to understand anything. The way of thinking and the very behavior of people are changing. What are the significant reasons that most often provoke the development of interpersonal conflict? Let's try to figure it out!

Clash of characters

This is a very powerful reason why people come into conflict with each other. Each person has his own special set of personal qualities. This characteristic makes it unique and unrepeatable. Interpersonal conflict confronts people in an argument. Many do not want to hear their opponent, but only try to prove to him that they are right. The clash of characters requires that everyone is eager to express their personal point of view and does not care much about hearing the arguments of the enemy. The conflict will worsen until the parties change their behavior.

Inconsistency of views

Another significant reason for the development of the conflict is the difference in the interests of the participants. It is difficult for people to understand each other because their attention is directed in completely different directions. The inconsistency of views on such important things as family, work, attitudes towards finances, traditions and holidays creates an open misunderstanding. The formation of a conflict occurs at the moment when the behavior of the opponent begins to displease to a large extent. Interpersonal conflict contributes to the alienation of people from each other, the appearance of coldness, some reticence. In order to resolve the conflict peacefully, you will have to work hard and, first of all, change your behavior.

Dependent behavior

The reason for the development of interpersonal conflict can be addictive behavior. Any addiction assumes that a person begins to behave inappropriately, relieves himself of any responsibility for what is happening. Conflict will inevitably arise if no timely action is taken to address adverse behavior. This situation is complicated by the fact that the dependent party is often unaware of the cause of the problem and prolongs the conflict itself. Addictive behavior can be expressed not only in the adoption of toxic, toxic substances (alcohol, drugs), but also in a painful attachment to another person. The need to constantly see the object of one's adoration can provoke the development of interpersonal conflict, its resolution will require great mental strength.

Dissatisfaction in relationships

A fairly common reason for the formation of conflict between people is dissatisfaction in relationships. The inability to give in, to find a middle ground can lead to an exacerbation of interpersonal conflict. It is not dangerous in itself, especially if the parties somehow strive to resolve it. A conflict of this kind should lead people to begin to reconsider their relationships, to look for something meaningful and valuable in them.

Types of interpersonal conflicts

Interpersonal conflict can manifest itself in different ways in the interaction of opponents. Among the main types, it is customary to distinguish hidden and open conflicts, which fairly reflect the degree of a person's attitude towards them. The resolution of the conflict largely depends on the form in which it is expressed.

Open conflict

This type of psychologists is often called conscious. That is, a person, entering into a conflict with someone from his environment, is fully aware of what is happening to him. Open conflict is characterized by stormy showdown... The manifested feelings are not masked, but are sent directly to the opponent, the words are expressed in the face. Even if a person has an excessively soft and compliant disposition, he, one way or another, shows his position.

Hidden conflict

This one is quite common. He assumes that the participants in the process do not realize the full gravity of the situation. A latent conflict may not appear at all for a long time, until one of the opponents decides to take action. The reluctance to admit the existence of a conflict is dictated by the following reason: we were taught from childhood that negative feelings can have bad consequences, and therefore it is better to keep them silent. This position does not give a person the opportunity to express himself, to fully express his dissatisfaction. As a result, the conflict drags on by itself and can continue for a relatively long time.

Behavior in interpersonal conflict

The resolution of the conflict depends on the extent to which the participants in the action will show wisdom. I must say that interpersonal conflict should not be allowed to take its course. First of all, you should understand its causes and, of course, change your own behavior.

Domination

This is a type of behavior in which people do not want to yield to each other for anything. Everyone stubbornly continues to defend their position even when the comic situation is observed. Such an action can in no way lead to an adequate solution to the complex problem that caused the development of the conflict. Dominance as a method assumes that the person considers his person to be right, and the other person must submit.

Finding a compromise

The compromise method makes people turn towards each other. With this behavior, even the most bitter enemies can meet at the same table to discuss significant details and come to a peace agreement. Finding a compromise involves people looking for a constructive solution to a problem.

Concession

Concession makes a person give up their own opinions and ambitions. Usually, people resort to this method when they feel extremely insecure in a conflict. If a person considers himself unworthy of something, he will always choose just such a position. Of course, it cannot be considered productive for personal growth. The ability to give in is very useful in family relationships. After all, if each of the spouses constantly insists on their own, harmony will not work. The concession will help mitigate the destructive effect of the conflict, but not really solve it.

Resolution of interpersonal conflicts

Interpersonal conflict without fail requires close attention. If you let it take its course, the situation will only get worse over time. How should a meaningful conflict be resolved? What steps do opponents need to take to come to an agreement?

Acceptance of the situation

This is the first thing to do if you really want to improve your situation. Do not take a desperate argument to the extreme, it cannot be resolved by itself. Resolution will only happen if you begin to comprehend what is happening. Stop grumbled about fate and consider yourself a victim. Analyze the situation, try to understand what your actions led to the formation of the conflict.

Emotional restraint

When it comes to resolving a controversial situation, it is important to be gentle with your partner. Emotional restraint can help you avoid aggravating the conflict. There is nothing worse than ruining relationships with loved ones who surround you every day. Find the strength to temporarily distance yourself from your own ambitions and just watch what happens.

Thus, interpersonal conflict is a phenomenon that an intelligent person can control. It is worth remembering that not only your mood depends on your behavior, but also the prospect of relationships with people around you.