Modern table etiquette rules. Brief rules of table etiquette

19.10.2019

The way a person behaves in public places can tell a lot about him. We are talking not only about the nature of the conversation with other individuals, but also about how he eats, drinks, and holds cutlery. The rules of etiquette at the table are observed by every well-mannered person, no matter where she is - at home, in a cafe, restaurant or with guests. This knowledge and skills must be taught from kindergarten.

What are the rules of table etiquette?

They are based on compliance with aesthetic standards, expediency, and convenience. Basic rules:

You should sit at the table not too far away and not too close to the edge; you should also not put your elbows on it, only your hands.
Table etiquette states that you must sit upright in a chair, without bending over a plate of food.
Don't reach for the dish if it's far away; ask other participants in the meal to pass it along.
Adults place a napkin for individual use on their laps; children (preschoolers and schoolchildren) tuck it into their collar.
Ethical behavior allows you to take some products with your hands: sugar, cookies, cakes, fruits.

Rules for using cutlery

Everyone needs to know the table rule of the left and right hands: all cutlery laid out on the left side (only forks) must be held in the left hand (but there are exceptions here too). Knives and spoons are placed on the right - they are operated with the right hand. Soups and broths are eaten with a spoon, hot meat dishes with a table knife and fork, hot fish with a fish knife and fork, desserts with a teaspoon or dessert spoon, cold appetizers with a knife and fork, fruits with hands or fruit cutters.

How to properly hold a fork or spoon

Hold the spoon so that your thumb is on top of its handle. Draw liquid from the plate away from you, this way you won’t stain your clothes. If you are served broth with pieces of chicken, first eat the liquid part of the dish, then, using a knife and fork, eat the meat. Don't take the fork too close to the base. Its teeth point down or up depending on the dish.

Which hand should you hold the knife in?

How to hold a fork and knife according to the rules of etiquette at the table? When you eat only with a fork, take it in your right hand; if you use a knife, hold the fork in your left. The index fingers rest against the upper part of the device handle and help apply pressure.

Restaurant etiquette

How to behave at a table in a public establishment? Cultured people adhere to the following rules and feel at ease:

You can start eating when everyone has been served food or drinks.
According to restaurant etiquette rules, the waiter opens bottles of alcohol at the table.
Guests of the establishment need to monitor the volume of their conversation - talk in such a way as not to cause discomfort to others.
The rules of conduct in the restaurant state that you should not clink glasses loudly every time; this is done only during important, ceremonial toasts.

Table setting rules according to etiquette

It is best to arrange items according to the photo - this way you will see what is where. It is not difficult to arrange cutlery correctly. A very sophisticated English style, it conquers the hearts of girls, women, and men. However, many are more accustomed to regular home serving:

the tablecloth is laid;
2-3 cm from the edge there are plates - deep ones on the shallow ones, pie plates on the left;
Small cellulose napkins are placed under each device;
to the right of the plate - a tablespoon with the convex side down, a knife with the sharp side facing the plates, on the left a fork with the tines up;
A glass for juice or water is placed in front of the knife edge;
Snacks and salads are placed in the center, and common cutlery is placed next to them.

Video about table manners for children

The younger generation best assimilates knowledge presented in a playful or cartoon form. Show your kids a video about Koksik and Shunya. Fairy-tale characters together with the kids will learn the rules of table etiquette. Aunt Daria will become a kind and wise mentor who will guide boys and girls into the world of cultured people.

You can sit down at a spontaneously organized table without hosts in any order,how convenient it is for the participants of the feast. Before sitting down, ask your companions which seat is preferable for them. If you are expecting guests, leave the most comfortable place for them.
At a pre-arranged table you should not sit down, until you are invited to it by the owners or staff. At small dinner parties, your seat can be found by using a name card placed as part of a couvert on the table. If there are no cards, wait until the host/hostess of the event shows you your seat.
At a large formal event the beginning of the feast is announced to all guests. As a rule, at the entrance to the banquet hall, you can inquire about which table your name is assigned to on the seating plan, and then find your place at the table, guided by the inscriptions on the cards. If they are not there, this means spontaneous seating.
At social feasts, ladies sit first, then gentlemen. They approach the chair from the left side. Helping a lady sit at the table by pulling out a chair for her is today at the discretion of the gentleman. This is not expected at business dinners. In secular contexts it is more appropriate.
Ladies are recommended to sit on 2/3 of the seat, men – on 3/4: this position helps maintain posture. The optimal distance between your body and the table is two palms. This will allow you, as you should, to bring the device to your mouth without bending over the plate. Sit so that your hands, with your elbows bent, are placed exactly above the fork and knife.

”
The posture of the back should be straight, but without stiffness. The ideal position - what could be called an ``easy seat`` - resembles the back of a rider. And food should be brought up to the mouth, rather than the mouth down towards the food. – Vogue's Book of Etiquette

Our etiquette is not as strict as English. And yet the rules of good manners at the table should not be neglected. They exist for people who want to feel comfortable during any feast. It is not without reason that it is believed that good manners are the calling card of a true lady or gentleman.

Table etiquette rules: serving cutlery

At home, we usually make do with a minimum of cutlery. For example, we often dine without a knife. Another thing is eating in a restaurant. All the shiny elements of serving - knives, spoons and forks - are placed there in the same order in which the order is fulfilled. First they bring soup, then chicken, then fish and finally dessert dishes. Knowing this rule, you need to take the device farthest from the plate first.

Each tableware has its own location and purpose. Before dinner, on the right side of the snack plate there is a knife and spoon. On the left side it is customary to place the pie plate, as well as forks and a disposable paper napkin.

Dessert cutlery should be placed in front of the plate. Behind them is placed crystal - glasses and glasses. On the snack plate lies a folded cloth napkin and a wine glass.

10 golden rules of restaurant dining ethics

In Russia, at the end of the toast, it is customary to thank the congratulatory person with a slight nod of the head. In Germany they always look into the eyes of the person they clink glasses with.
It is considered bad manners to bring a cocktail from the bar to the dinner table.
Don’t even think about placing personal items on the table: wallet, cosmetic bag, keys. Elbows should also be removed from the table.
Do not blow on a hot dish during lunch; it will cool down on its own.
Do not use a tissue to remove lipstick from your lips. It is customary to cover your knees and wipe your mouth from food debris. After eating, it is placed to your left, and the used paper is placed on a plate.
The correct use of a knife and fork, according to European etiquette, involves constantly holding them in your hands while eating. In America, after cutting a piece of meat, you can lower the knife and pick up the fork with your right hand.
You should try to chew food silently: chomping, talking or laughing with your mouth full are taboos in polite society.
If the steak you ordered for dinner contains cartilage and you feel one of them in your mouth with your tongue, you should remove it with a fork. But you can remove the olive pit from your mouth with two fingers.
There is no need to move your plate and cup away from you after finishing your meal. Leave all appliances in their places.
After eating, you should not place a knife and fork crosswise on your plate: this is how restaurant customers in some countries make it clear that they did not like the dish. These devices need to be placed diagonally on the plate parallel to each other.

How to behave when visiting

Going on a visit is a kind of test of one’s ability to behave in any society. Despite the informality of the atmosphere, all rules of etiquette should be observed. By the way, an invitation to dinner for the whole family is an occasion to teach table ethics to your child. Even at home, it is necessary to teach children the correct behavior at a party and how to use cutlery.

It would be good for adults themselves to remember the basic requirements of table etiquette:

the invitation to start the meal must come from the hosts; before this, the guests sit calmly at the table, holding their hands on their knees;
During dinner, cutlery is passed from one guest to another in a counterclockwise direction;
you should not reach out for a salad bowl that is standing far from you - just ask your neighbor to pass it to you;
if donuts and jam are served for dessert, you need to break the donut into small pieces with your hands and spread them one by one with jam, putting them in your mouth one at a time;
Only after swallowing food and wiping your lips with a napkin can you drink water or wine;
According to the rules of etiquette, you cannot paint your lips at the table after eating: it is extremely unpleasant to see a girl or woman doing marafet where they are eating.

After visiting, some people send the hosts an SMS message with words of gratitude.

Nuances of table conversation

Proper conversation at the table should be enjoyable for everyone present. It is allowed to talk about business only after the meal is over.

When eating, taboo topics are:

illness;
anatomical features of men and women;
intimate problems;
income;
industrial conflicts;
religious and political themes.

You shouldn’t get carried away with a monologue; it’s better to demonstrate your ability to listen. It is not recommended to be interested in the social status or age of your interlocutors. Subtle humor and relevant remarks about the weather, art or culture are welcome, but without delving into the subject of conversation.

Conclusion

The rules of dining ethics will come in handy more than once in life. By showing correctness and courtesy at a dinner party, you will make the most favorable impression on those around you. After this, you will be considered a pleasure to do business with.

Comment on the article "Modern rules of table etiquette"

How to behave when visiting. Serious question. About yours, about your girl’s. Discussion of issues about a woman’s life in the family, at work, relationships with men. Modern table etiquette rules. Despite the informality of the atmosphere, all rules of etiquette should be observed.

The film Pinocchio, the Soviet Cartoon about Drakosha, “for me and again for me,” he behaved exactly like a pig there at the chocolate factory)) Cartoon Oh yes, thank you, this is from the same place as the song of the piglets. There’s also “If you put a pig at the table, I’ll put my feet on the table.” 10/19/2017 14:30:25...

We were worried that the cat didn’t know the streets at all. Then I tried the aerevka method on this forum and decided to try it. Since the cat lived in the summer kitchen, I decided to tie the legs of the table there. I placed food and milk in the center. She said: “Brownie, show Kitchen the way home.”

Discussion

Help!!!
The cat is 5-6 months old, found on the street, not neutered, Handsome lives in the yard, he was so eager to go outside that his heart was breaking, he let him go under supervision, he already ran away once and did not return (I found him myself), he has not been at home for 12 days, all day long I’m crying, I asked all the neighbors, no one knows, he was so affectionate, but also sooo arrogant, I don’t know what to do anymore...
Help, please, I'm already going crazy...

11/10/2018 17:24:40, Darina Bashieva

Help!
Our cat is 5-6 months old, he was found on the street, not neutered, he already ran away once and never returned (I found him myself). We live in a private house, Handsome lived in the yard, in the morning, when the car was leaving, he ran out into the street, he has not been home for 13 days, I have been crying for so long, I don’t know what to do, I asked all the neighbors, he is nowhere...
Please tell me what to do...

11/10/2018 17:17:40, Darina Bashieva

For example, jumping back and forth from the table to the table, interrupting someone during a conversation, helping yourself to a mountain of food and then not finishing it, and so on. Copes when and how Share your experience of how you taught your children to behave well during a family dinner.

Discussion

listen, where did all this nonsense come from about “While I’m eating, I’m deaf and dumb”? How is it possible to sit at the table and not start talking? Why then gather at one table at all?

Well, just as all people eat, so do children:-) When you sit down, eat. Don't get involved in adult conversations. Don’t indulge in food, don’t cook, don’t pick at the plate. If the conversation is general, you can support and participate. You sit at the table for a long time - everyone will eat, get up and leave, and you will be left alone. Don't push or distract each other. No toys. I got up - I needed to put the dishes away after myself and put them on the countertop by the sink. If they suddenly go wild and rowdy, it means they are not hungry - everyone is free :-))
Oh, I fooled around and bought an oilcloth tablecloth with all sorts of fruits and berries. Now they “take” these fruits, “eat them” and still manage to quarrel over who “took” the pineapple tea :-)) We need to remove it, otherwise they get very distracted :-))

Discussion

1. I’m just tired of looking for good manuals and books on safety (fires, emergencies, etc. for children)!!! All this is VERY necessary and all this is very much required in kindergartens... Any kindergarten has plans that include all safety measures, both in working with children and in working with teachers and parents. There is also a law that obliges all child care institutions to familiarize children with the rules of behavior during fires and emergencies, and I’ll tell you a secret, training evacuations must take place in every child care center twice a year. Just try to explain all this to the children in your hands...eh? so much so that it all stays in children’s heads for a long time.
2. Well, this is elementary, Watson:) of course, it’s necessary. After all, this is our culture, which is laid down with mother’s milk. I can write a report on this topic, right away. As confirmation of my words: even in many kindergartens the subject of ETIQUETTE or good manners has now been introduced. But there are also very few benefits for them: ((((
3. What does it mean not to touch? You surprised me. The basics of any safety are just knowing the rules of safe use and what can happen. And if you don’t touch it, it’s a “forbidden fruit”, which, as you know, is sweet

1 Definitely needed
2 Discuss. Correctly.
3 Necessarily discuss. Some adults (from whom they hid knives and scissors in childhood) do not know how to correctly pass a knife, how not to cut themselves, how not to prick themselves. More books - good and educational!

Parents should be on an equal footing at the table. Kirill and Maria have been married for 15 years and have a 13-year-old daughter, Natasha. I won’t tell him, “Behave decently at the table,” and maybe I’ll help him eat first, and then I’ll eat myself.

Discussion

However, he never shaves. For six years now I have been winning the fight for his beard, speculating with my son (that he does not recognize daddy without a beard).
There are no elongated sweatpants in the household; there are homemade jeans. It's just the weekend, like weekdays - in them. On holidays (for example, today, etc.) he puts on trousers instead, and also a shirt and tie. Then he holds it very funny, pouring wine and “courting” it with salad, but on principle he does not wear the hairpin.

A man should at least feel like a human being at home. Mine also likes to scratch his balls and walks around in shorts and shorts, the heat at home is terrible. But if I shaved every day, I would probably think that something is wrong, it shouldn’t be so Something must be happening to a person if he can’t relax at home

31.12.2006 02:18:15, unshaven husband's wife

Recently my boss sat down at my table, whether he was drunk or not, I don’t know, but he was somehow strange. I sat down right away, very close. Has this ever happened to you? Is this bad or good for work? After all, we need to communicate every day for work. How best to behave in such...

For 7 centuries in a row, it has been believed that the main indicator of a person’s upbringing is his ability to behave at the table. The word “etiquette” arose during the reign of the world famous French king Louis XIV. Guests invited to his banquet received a label card on which the rules of behavior were signed. The word “etiquette” comes from the name of this very card. In our article we will take a detailed look at modern table etiquette rules with photos.

There are two main ways to use cutlery:

Continental(common in Asian and European countries): the knife and fork should be in the hands until the meal is finished.
American, according to which it is permissible to put the knife aside if you are not going to use it temporarily (in this case, it is placed on a serving plate with the tip inward, the handle on the edge).

Let's look at the classic version table etiquette rules, how to use cutlery. The main points are presented below:

How to use forks:

if the fork is long, has 4 teeth, and it lies to the left of the plate, then it is a table fork - you should use it to eat the main dish (a snack fork looks exactly the same, but its size is much smaller - you should choose it when you are served cold appetizers) ;
a fork with 4 tines and grooves, which is slightly shorter in length than a table fork, is used to eat fish dishes (the tines are intended for separating bones from meat);
the dessert fork is thin and small, it has 3 cloves instead of 4;
There is also a special fork for eating fruit, it doesn’t look like a dessert fork, but it has 2 teeth rather than 3.

How to use spoons:

a large tablespoon lying to the right of the serving plate is intended for eating soups and other liquid hot dishes;
the dessert spoon is designed for eating gluten-free sweet dishes that do not need to be cut with a knife (it has a long handle and a small cup);
a teaspoon is served exclusively with hot tea, and a coffee spoon (it is the smallest) only with black coffee.

How to use knives:

a knife, which is turned with the blade towards the plate, moreover, it is located on the right - this is a device designed to eat second hot dishes;
the fish knife is dull, it looks more like a “spatula”, its purpose is not to cut, but to hold the fish in order to remove the bones from it with a fork;
The knife for appetizers and desserts is small in shape and has serrations on the blade.

If you can’t keep all this information in your head, then remember one secret on how to use cutlery: they are always placed on the table in the order in which they need to be used. Always take the most extreme devices initially. After you finish your first course, these utensils will be taken away from you along with your empty plate.

Now let's figure out what to do with cutlery after eating according to the rules of table etiquette:

if you have already finished eating, you need to fold the fork and knife so that they are parallel to each other with the teeth and the tip up (the fork is on the left and the knife is on the right);
if you are delighted with the dish you have eaten and want to signal this, you do not have to run to the chef, place the knife and fork on the plate parallel to each other, but so that the cloves are directed to the right (the fork should be placed on top and the knife below it) – the waiter will see this and convey your admiration to the author of the culinary masterpiece;
if you decide to take a break during the meal, then place the fork and knife on the plate with the edges facing each other (outwardly it should look like the fork and knife form the letter “L”);
If you have finished the first course and are waiting for the second, place the knife on the plate so that its blade is directed to the left, and place the fork perpendicular to the knife with the teeth up.

How to behave at a table in a restaurant: rules of etiquette

In public establishments, such as a restaurant, you need to behave accordingly. Be sure to check in advance basic rules of table etiquette in a restaurant, so that you are perceived as a person from high society:

If a man invites a woman to dinner, he must enter the restaurant first. If in a restaurant there is a doorman at the entrance, then the man is obliged to let the lady forward, help her take off her outerwear, lead her to the table, ask her where she wants to sit, move the chair so that the lady sits on it.
The man should position himself either opposite the lady or to her left.
Dinner must be ordered by the person who initiated it. As a rule, this is a man. He can only offer the woman to choose something from what he personally chose. According to table etiquette rules, girl She should not be capricious, talk about her illnesses, that she went on a diet or became a vegetarian. She must politely choose something from what her companion offers her.

A person sitting at a table in a restaurant must watch his posture. Your back should be straight, but from the outside it should not seem that you are uncomfortable. Behave at ease, confidently, but do not relax.
Immediately place a napkin on your lap that will sit on your serving plate.
If it happens that you were brought a dish before your companion, do not start eating it. Wait until the food has been brought out to all participants in the meal.
If a woman has lipstick on, she needs to go to the ladies' room to get rid of lipstick, because traces of it on dishes are considered a sign of bad taste. In general, any hygiene procedures cannot be performed at a restaurant table. For these purposes, go to the toilet. But before you leave the table, you need to apologize.
You are not allowed to take photographs of food and drinks while dining in a restaurant. Such behavior is considered immoral in high-level establishments.
If you come across something inedible in a dish, carefully remove it from your mouth, but not with your hands, but with a spoon.
If some cutlery accidentally falls onto the floor from your table, there is no need to pick it up. Call the waiter and ask him to bring you others.
If you are served a very hot dish, wait until it cools down. You cannot blow on food, blow on food, or make any sounds in general in a restaurant. This is not decent, according to table etiquette rules.

The fork must be held with your left hand during a meal, and the knife with your right. If the dish can be eaten with an ordinary fork, there is no need to cut anything, then it can be held in the right hand.
If you eat meat, then cut off one small piece of it, which you will eat right away. There should be no slices left on the plate.
To eat pasta, you need to use a fork. Pasta is rolled onto it. If the dish is drowning in sauce, it is preferable to use a spoon.
If there is a bread product on the plate with your dish, then you need to break off slices from it and eat them gradually. You should not bite off a whole piece of bread or pick it up.
You need to chew food with your mouth completely closed.
If you haven't finished your soup, it's okay. Yushka at the bottom of a soup plate is considered normal. If you want to finish eating, tilt the plate away from you and scoop out the soup with a spoon.
You can’t lean too much over the plate. You must carefully bring the fork or spoon with food to your mouth.
If you have something stuck in your mouth, do not remove it with your hands. Use a fork, preferably at a time when no one sees it.

Hide your phone somewhere so it won't bother you. If he calls all the time, it will seem impolite. In this case, pick up the phone and ask to call you back later. Excuse yourself if you need to clear your nose or clear your throat and leave the table.
Do not hand the dish, salt or pepper shaker directly into the hands of the person who asked you for it. It will be correct if you simply place the item or food he needs next to his plate.
Behave calmly at the table, do not gesticulate, so as not to accidentally break something.
Under no circumstances should you place your elbows on the table. Hands should not touch the table at all while eating. Women are only allowed to lean slightly against the table with their hands.
Bags, wallets, phones and other things should also not be left on the table.
During the meal, you can communicate with your companion, but on topics that will not provoke a scandal or controversy between you.
After finishing the meal, do not put the dishes away. Everything should remain on the table as is.
Don't forget to leave a tip for the waiter after dinner (this is approximately 10% of the total check). If a tip is included in the check amount, then there is no need to leave additional money.

How to behave at a table when visiting: rules of etiquette

When you come to someone's house, even if you were invited by your close friends, this does not mean that in this case it is not necessary to comply table etiquette rules. It is imperative to show respect to the owners and leave a good impression of yourself.

Of course, such strict requirements are not imposed on you as in a restaurant, but a few rules of etiquette, how to behave at the table While visiting, you still need to know:

do not sit down at the table until you are invited to do so by the owners of the house;
if you need some cutlery, or you are asked to pass it, remember that this must be done in a counter-clockwise direction;
do not eat with your fork or spoon from a common dish into which, for example, salad is poured - take a special cutlery and pour the dish onto your plate;
if the dish is far from you, do not reach across the table for it, but ask someone sitting next to you to serve it to you;
drink water or an alcoholic drink only after you have completely chewed your food;
do not talk about political or religious topics at the table, do not discuss illnesses, but also do not be silent, do not force the owners of the house to entertain you;
do not stay at a party until late in the evening (the optimal time to stay at a party is 2-3 hours);
After dinner, be sure to thank the owners of the house.

How to behave at a buffet according to the rules of etiquette?

Everyone knows what a buffet is - this is when a lot of dishes are presented, and everyone can choose whatever they want and as much as they want.

It would seem that everything is simple, however, here too you need to observe 5 rules of table etiquette:

As soon as you enter a buffet restaurant, look around to see where everything is located. In many establishments, first courses are located separately from appetizers and desserts. Think about what you would like to eat so as not to overload your stomach with everything at once. Take the plate in your left hand and add everything with your right. If you need bread, then you need to take a special small plate for it.
You are not allowed to appear at the buffet in a swimsuit or street clothes. A smart dress is, of course, also not the best option for a buffet, but the fact that your appearance should be neat is clear.
When helping yourself to a dish, behave with restraint, do not shout, push, or make a scandal if the dish you wanted to take is finished. Step aside and wait a few minutes for the waiters to bring you the food you want. Try to make only one approach to the buffet.
After you finish your meal, clean up after yourself. In many buffet establishments, waiters do not clear away the dishes after customers.
Do not attempt to take food away from the buffet unless the establishment specifically allows it.

Basic rules of table etiquette for children

As soon as your child turns one year old, you can teach him table manners. At first, the baby will follow the example of mom and dad, so it is important that the parents themselves behave correctly during meals.

What you should pay attention to:

Before each meal, you must wash your hands thoroughly with soap. By the age of two, the baby should already have developed the habit of following the rules of hygiene.
The child must know his place at the table. If he is still small, then parents need to seat him in his high chair, which must correspond to the height of the common dining table. It is better to place the chair on the left side of the mother so that she can help the child when necessary.
Meals should occur at the same time every day so that the baby develops a routine and culture of proper nutrition.
Explain to your baby that you need to start eating after all family members have sat down at the table and the phrase “bon appetit” is heard.
Before the age of three, you need to teach a child to use a spoon, before the age of 5, to use a fork, and after 5 years, you can already explain what a knife is and how to handle it. Do not allow your child to dig into a plate of food with their hands. If he can't handle the kitchen appliance, feed him yourself.

Explain to your baby that you cannot play, sing, dance or talk loudly at the table, especially if your mouth is full of food. After all, this is not only indecent, but also dangerous to health.
Teach your baby that he must eat everything that is poured into him. You cannot spit food back onto the plate, as it is unsightly.
A child should already know at the age of three that after a meal he needs to thoroughly wipe his mouth and hands, and say “thank you” to the person who prepared the food.
Explain to your child that he can only get up from the table after adults give him permission.
You can take advantage of innovative technologies in the process of teaching your child. On the Internet you can download educational cartoons and pictures, with the help of which the child will, in a playful and educational way, figure out what to do while eating. Great way to learn table etiquette rules - creating a presentation on this topic on the computer (suitable for you if your child is already 5 years old). This will make it more interesting for the child, because the craving for computer technology in modern children manifests itself at a very early age.

The modern curriculum of secondary educational institutions provides a course for schoolchildren about table etiquette rules. During the lessons, children are taught about the norms of behavior in public places, and in particular, special attention is given to the topic of how to behave at the table.

Table etiquette rules in pictures

Try to follow all the recommendations that we have given you in this article if you want to be accepted as a well-mannered and cultured person in public institutions. Remember that ignorance and frivolous behavior even while eating is a sign, first of all, of disrespect for yourself, and then for others. Therefore, behave appropriately so as not to fall “face in the dirt.”