Everyone loves to read and listen to jokes - not only adults, but also children. Therefore, today we have selected the funniest children's jokes for ages 10-12, which you can read with your children or tell them to them.

Children's jokes are the funniest

Two boys meet on the street. One reports the news:
— I just had a bad tooth pulled out.
- Well, does it still hurt?
- I don't know.
- How can you not know this?
— But the doctor still has the tooth.

Father says to daughter:
“I wouldn’t dare lie like that at your age!”
— At what age did you start?

One boy says to another:
- My dad is very good.
-Are you telling me this?
- You.
— Just last year he was my dad.

Son to father:
— Dad, when you were at school, were you in the same class with Seryoga’s father?
- Yes.
- This can’t be!
- Why?
- Because he also claims to be the best student in the class.

Teacher scolds student:
- You came again without a pen?! I wonder what you would say if you saw a soldier showing up for training without a weapon?
“I would say that he probably became a general.”

The funniest jokes for children 10-12 years old

- Boy, don’t be a bully, otherwise your dad will grow up gray hair!
“My dad will be very happy, he’s completely bald!”

- Ivanov, who did it for you? homework: dad or mom?
- I don’t know, I was already asleep.

Schoolchildren think that it is better to study at the institute, but only students know that the best place to study is in kindergarten!

Hedgehog learned to breathe with his butt. The Fox passes by and the Hedgehog says to her:
- Fox, oh Fox, strangle me!
The fox strangled and strangled, but could not strangle.
The Bear walks by, the Hedgehog says to him:
- Bear, Bear, strangle me!
The bear strangled and strangled, but could not strangle.
The Hedgehog walked like this all day through the forest, and no one could strangle him. The Hedgehog got tired, sat down on a stump and choked.

During the test, the teacher closely monitors the students and sometimes kicks out those who notice spurs. The director looks into the classroom.
- Are you writing a test? There are probably a lot of people here who like to cheat.
Teacher:
- No, the amateurs are already in the corridor, only the professionals remain.

Children's jokes about Vovochka

During a biology lesson in class, the teacher says:
— The pistil and stamen of flowers are the reproductive organs.
Vovochka from the back desk, sadly:
- Damn, I smell them...

The teacher enters the class and asks Vovochka:
-Where is Seryozha?
- He’s not there, we were playing to see who would lean out of the window next... Well, he won.

Vova, what are you like? good deed did it today?
“And I was seeing my dad off and saw the uncle running after the departing train.” So I let my dog, pit bull Rex, go, and the guy caught the train.

At school:
- Well done, Nikita, a solid five, give me the diary!
- Oh, it seems I forgot it at home...
- Take mine! - Vovochka whispers.

- Vovochka, let’s say you have 100 rubles. You asked your father for another 100 rubles. How much money will you have in total?
- 100 rubles, Mary Ivanna.
- Too bad, Vovochka, you don’t know math at all!
“And you, Mary Ivanna, don’t know my father at all!”

The geography teacher asked Bora if he knew anything about the Panama Canal.
“No,” the student answers, “there is no such channel on our TV.”

A radio was installed in one grandmother's house. In the morning at six o'clock, it spoke for the first time:
— Good morning!
Grandma jumped out of bed:
- Good health! Where are you going so early?

- Well, son, show me the diary. What did you bring from school today?
- There’s nothing to show, there’s only one deuce.
- Just one?
- Don't worry, dad, I'll bring it tomorrow!

— Hello, is this 333-33-33?
- Yes.
— Please dial “Ambulance”, otherwise my finger is stuck in the phone.

A Chukchi is walking along the road, and they ask him:
-Chukchi, where are you going?
-Give an injection, however
-To the clinic?
-No in the ass, however

I somehow bought a new Russian construction set<Лего>and boasts to his friend:
— Hey, Vovan, look, what’s written on this piece of garbage:<От 2-х до 4-х лет>. So I assembled it in two months.

Little girl talking to her father:
- Dad, today I dreamed that you gave me a small chocolate bar.
“If you obey, you’ll dream that you gave him a big one.”

- Mommy, can I go for a walk?
- With dirty ears?
- No, with comrades.

Chemistry lesson:
-Tell me, Vovochka, what substances do not dissolve in water?
Vovochka without hesitation:
-Fish!

The cannibals caught a tourist. They lit a fire, put a vat of water and asked:
- How your name?
- What difference does it make to you, eat it anyway!
- What kind of thing is this, and for the menu?!

Cheburashka somehow approaches Gena and says:
— Gena, Shapoklyak gave us 10 oranges on February 23, 8 for each.
- How is it 8 each, if there are 10 of them?
- I don’t know, but I’ve already eaten my 8!

A little girl asks her grandfather:
- Grandfather, what kind of berries are these?
- This is black currant.
- Why is it red?
- Because it’s still green.

- Piglet, do you know your pedigree?
- Yeah. My grandfather (sighs) was a chopper. My father was (proudly) a kebab...
- Who do you dream of becoming?
- And I (looks at the sky and is so sad...) am an astronaut.
- Why is it so sad?
- Yes, I’m afraid I won’t fit into the tube...

The guy came to the doctor and said:
- Doctor, there are ringing sounds in my ears.
- Don’t answer them, don’t pick up the phone!

Teacher:
— Guys, tell me, what is the number of the word “pants”: singular or plural?
Student:
- Above - singular, and below - plural.

One student decided to play a joke on another. Painted the chair.
The second one comes in and says right from the door:
- Kolyan, I...
First to him:
“Yes, sit down first,” and points to a chair.
And this one again:
- Kolyan, I wanted to tell you...
First:
- Yes, sit down, don’t be shy.
The second sat down. The first one chuckles:
- Well, now speak.
- Kolyan, I just wanted to say that I put on your jeans.

Grandfather is sleeping in a chair, whistling loudly through his nose. The little grandson is fiddling with a button on his jacket.
- What are you doing? - asks the grandmother.
- I want to catch another program!

A plane landed at the airport. Passengers leave the ramp.
One man's pants fall down, he pulls them up and says:
-This is Aeroflot: fasten your seat belt, then unfasten it...

- Why does a gorilla have such big nostrils?
- Because she has thick fingers.

A five-year-old boy answered the phone.
-Yes.
-Call dad or mom.
-They are not at home.
-Is there anyone else?
-Yes, my sister.
-Call her, please.
After a while the boy picked up the phone again:
-It's too heavy. I can't get her out of the stroller!

Five year old son asks:
-Dad, do you know how long one tube of paste lasts?
-No.
-For the entire hallway, living room and half of the loggia...

Two flies come out of the bar.
One says: “Well, shall we go on foot or wait for the dog?”

Once a hedgehog fell into a hole, he couldn’t get out and thought: “If I don’t get out in 5 minutes, I’ll go home and get a ladder.”

Gen, be careful there are steps, stumps, stumps.
-Thank you Cherim-burum-burashka.

Wallpaper that can be washed is, of course, a good thing. But how difficult it is
I had to tear them off to stuff them into the washing machine.

A woman asks for a glass of sparkling water:
- A glass of water.
- With syrup?
- Without.
— Without cherry or without apple?

A guy and a girl are walking around the city and pass by a restaurant. The girl says:
- Oh, how delicious it smells!
- Did you like it? Do you want us to go through it again?

A girl comes to a dairy store. So he puts the can on the scales:
- For me, sour cream.
Saleswoman, splash some sour cream into her can.
-Here's a girl, sour cream for you. Where's the money?
-In a can

- Boy, how old are you?
- Five.
- And you are not taller than my umbrella...
- How old is your umbrella?

After dinner, the mother goes to the kitchen, and the daughter shouts after her:
- No, Mom, I don’t want you to wash the dishes on your birthday. Leave it for tomorrow.

A boy watches a film on TV about a boy whom everyone loved and says:
- If you wash me, I will be the same!

Mom tells her son
“Is this how they read a book, son?” You're skipping several pages.
- And this book is about spies. I want to catch them quickly.

At the boat rental station, the boss shouts into a bullhorn:
- Boat number 99! Return to the shore - your time is up!
Five minutes later:
- Boat number 99, return immediately!
Five minutes later:
- Boat number 99! If you don't return, we will fine you!
An assistant approaches the boss:
- Ivan Ivanovich! We only have 73 boats, so where did the 99th come from?
The chief freezes for a moment, and then rushes to the shore:
— Boat number 66! Are you in some kind of trouble?!

He gave Winnie the Pooh a cell phone for his birthday
-Here’s a gift for you - a cell phone!
-Well, thanks buddy!
The next day, Winnie the Pooh meets Piglet
-What did you give me yesterday for my birthday???
- Cool phone...
-I spent 3 hours picking yesterday, the phone broke, there are no honeycombs or honey.

Mom says to the girl:
- If you don’t eat semolina porridge, I’ll call Baba Yaga.
- Mom, do you really think that she will eat it?

- Doctor, you forbade me to eat at night, so I caught a cold!
- What is the connection?
- Well, of course - I stood at the refrigerator all night, looking at the chicken, and that’s why I got cold!

Granddaughter and grandfather are sitting by the window... the grandson is babbling. Grandpa look!!!Once!
a crow, two crows, three crows... the whole Voronezh!!!.

Two Chukchi are sitting, breaking a bomb. A man passes by.
“Hey, what are you doing, it’s going to explode!” - “However, it’s okay, we have one more!”

A Georgian is drowning in the sea and has forgotten the word “save” in Russian, shouting:
- This is my last time swimming!

Vinny says to Piglet.
- Listen, Vinnie, I know what will happen to you when you grow up!
- Have you read my horoscope? - Nope, the book “On Tasty and Healthy Food”!

The owner to the guest: - Can I shine a light on the steps for you? - No, thank you, I’m already lying downstairs.

In the middle of the lesson, Vovochka comes into the class with a bandaged head.
Irritated teacher: - Well, what happened this time? - Fell from the fifth floor.
- So, did you fly for two whole lessons?

Seller: - These wall clock They go for two weeks without starting.
- What are you talking about?! What if you start them?

Jokes for children 9,10,11,12 years old are very funny, short and not very long, which will be fun to read!

I used to drive active image life - played football and hockey, tennis, basketball. But the computer broke...

Conversation between two men:
-Is your watch running correctly?
- I have them on our hand!

Did you know that the true Lord of the Rings works in the registry office?

What is man's best four-legged friend?
- Armchair!

Slow people have been compared to turtles, but there have been no recorded cases of a turtle being late for anything.

My new Chinese phone works like a charm. But at the same time, like a telephone, it doesn't work...

Mom and son at the entrance to the zoo, son: Mom, mom, look monkey! - No, son, this is the aunt cashier.

Teacher: List me four pets
“A dog and three puppies,” Petrov answers cheerfully.

A happy hedgehog and a thoughtful hare are walking along a forest path. The hare asks:
- Hedgehog, are you always laughing?
— The grass tickles my heels.

- “Ivanov, who did the homework: dad or mom?”
- “I don’t know, I was already asleep”

What to do when you fall in love at first sight?
Take a closer look a second time...

- Angelina, why do you drink so much water? - asks the mother.
— Because I ate an apple and forgot to wash my hands before eating.

In a psychiatric hospital, a patient says:
- I am Napoleon.
- Where did you get this from? - asks the doctor.
- God told me.
Another student indignantly intervenes in the conversation:
- No, I didn’t say so.

A father explains to his three-year-old son:
- No, this is not a horse with antennas, but a deer!

A girl takes a driving test. He gets into the car and the instructor says:
- You don't pass.
- But why? After all, I just got into the car!
Instructor:
- Yes, they sat down, only in the back seat.

Mom, I was so lucky at school today.
- Why?
— the teacher wanted to put me in a corner, but all the corners were occupied.

Conversation between two fishermen:
- Yesterday I caught a goldfish...
- That's lucky! What wishes did you make?
“I had to choose from two desires: to become the most beautiful, or to have a good memory.”
- And what did you choose?
- I don't remember …

— Tell me, please, is this cake fresh?
- Of course, look at the production date of January 1st!
- But today is only December 30th! - the buyer is surprised.
- You are very lucky with this cake from the future!

— Does your dog like children?
Yes, but more dog food.

There is a lesson at school, the teacher:
- Children who think they are stupid, stand up!
A few minutes pass, Nikita gets up.
teacher:
- Nikita, do you think you’re stupid?
- No... it’s just inconvenient that you are standing alone...

During the lesson, the teacher gave the children an assignment to draw cows grazing on a green field. Vasily brought blank slate paper the teacher asks:
- Why didn’t Vasenka draw green grass?
— The cow ate the grass
-Where is the cow?
- Well, what should a cow do there if there is no green grass?

Useful phone numbers:
roof is on fire - 01
no roof – 02
crazy - 03 Or one shared room 112

The son asks the banker-father:
- Dad, you have a bank and the money in your bank belongs to the clients?
- Yes.
- Then where did the villa, the yacht, my private paid school and everything else come from?
- Let me explain... Bring me a big piece of lard from the refrigerator
Son brings, father
- Now, take it back
- Well, I took it, so what?
- Show me your hands, you see there is fat left on your palms and fingers...

Looking for some funny joke for kids? Then come to us: Humor, jokes for children 10 years old are very funny, short and funny.

1. Which river is longer: Mississippi or Volga? - the teacher asks Vovochka.
— Of course Mississippi!
- And do you know how much?
- Four whole letters!

2. Russian language teacher says:
— Children, how do you understand the phrase “visibly-invisibly”? Vova, answer.
- So it’s the TV that’s acting up!

3. Homework is only needed to quarrel between children and parents...

4. Mom asks Vovochka:
- How many tasks were on the test today?
- 15!
- And how many times did you decide wrong?
- Only one thing!
- The rest, then, right?
- No, I didn’t have time to decide the rest...

5. Winnie the Pooh is chewing a bun. Piglet comes up.
- Vinnie, let me bite the bun.
- This is not a bun... this is a pie!
- Well, let me take a bite of the pie.
- This is not a pie... this is a donut!
- Well, let me bite the donut.
- Listen, Piglet, leave me alone, you don’t know what you want!

6. Grandma, grandma! Why are you like this? big eyes?
- To see you better... - Why do you have such big ears?
- To hear you better...
- Why do you have such a big nose?
- Well, we are elephants, granddaughter...

7. Dad, did you have a tablet as a child?
— No, there were no computers then.
- What did you play then?
- On the street!

8. Schoolchildren think that it is better to study at the institute, but only students know what is most comfortable in
kindergarten!

Children's jokes are the funniest

9. Literature lesson. The teacher asks:
- Well, children, have you read “War and Peace”?
Silence... One guy jumps up and asks with dumbfounded eyes:
- Why did you have to read it???
Teacher:
- Well, yes…
- And I rewrote it!!!

9. Mom asks her son:
- Sasha, yesterday there were two pieces of cake left on the table. Now there is only one, why?
“I just didn’t notice the second piece in the darkness,” Sashenka answered.

10. A boy on a walk with his dad in the park saw two twins in a stroller. He looked at them for a long time
intelligent expression and finally asked dad:
- Daddy, where is my second one?

11. The girl came to her neighbor and said:
- Mom is very sick and wants strawberry jam.
- Oh God! What should you put it in? Did you take a glass or saucer?
- Yes, nothing is needed. I'll eat here.

12. Boxing in kindergarten. The ring judge gives the command:
- At different angles!
Boxers crying:
- We won't...

13. Chemistry lesson. Teacher:
— Masha, what color is your solution?
- Red.
- Right. Sit down, five.
- Katya, what about you?
- Orange.
- Not quite right. Four, sit down.
— Vovochka, the color of your solution?
- Black.
- Two. Class! Lie down.

14. Letter to Santa Claus:
- Grandfather Frost, I want Lenka to turn into a toad! And another gold bracelet.

15. Sitting at a concert chamber music grandmother with granddaughter. The cellist is playing. Granddaughter asks
grandma:
- Grandma, when uncle saws his box, shall we go home?

16. “Your son shot with a slingshot during a lesson,” the teacher complains to the student’s mother.
- Ah! This naughty guy again lost the gun I gave him for his birthday.

It is difficult to believe that there is at least one person without a sense of humor - another matter if we talk about how subtle it is in some people. Humor covers all areas of activity people.

We joke about literally everything what we see and what happens to us, we joke about representatives of certain professions and nationalities, about relatives and friends, laugh at ourselves and situations, which we find ourselves in.

The main joke themes loved by all children are:

• fairy tales and fairy-tale heroes;
• friends, brothers and sisters;
• school, study;
• animals;
• holidays.

Jokes- a boost of energy for the whole day. Perhaps the most harmless and funny jokes connected with children, they will make adults and children laugh until they cry. And since the main occupation of children is studying, that’s all the funniest children's jokes are related to school, students and teachers. Anyone can cheer themselves and their friends up by securing a couple of dozen short jokes about school. Here you can find:

• children's jokes about school;
• the most funny jokes about Vovochka;
• the latest school jokes.

Children's jokes about school

Parents ask a first-grader:

- How did you like your first day? Did you like school?

- First? Just don’t tell me that I have to go there again tomorrow!

- Sasha, name me at least one transparent object

- Keyhole, Marya Ivanovna!

After anatomy lesson.

— We heard that Vitya got a bad mark on his test!

- Why?

- For the cheat sheet. The teacher caught him while he was counting his ribs.

— Doctor, my child has strabismus.

- Is it congenital?

- No, from cheating.

- How much will it be if they give you one kitten, plus two kittens and four more kittens?

- Nine.

- Listen more carefully! They gave you one kitten, then two kittens and four more. How much in total?

- Nine.

- Then it’s different! I give you one watermelon, then two and then four more watermelons! How many?

- Eight!

- Here you go! And the kitten, plus two, plus four? How much in total?

- Nine!

- Yes, why?!

— Because I already have one kitten!

- Mom, dad, we wrote at school today!

- Well, read what you wrote?

The son complains to his mother:

- I don’t want to go to school anymore!

- Why?

- Again Vasechkin will trip me, and Ivanov will shoot at me with a slingshot, and Sidorov will throw a textbook at me!

“No, son, you need to go to school,” says mom. - Firstly, you are already 50 years old, and secondly, you are a school director.

“Daddy, the doctors gave us vaccinations at school today!”

- Well done, daughter, you didn’t cry, did you?

- No, they didn’t catch up with me.

- So that they think that they are having a holiday.

— Vovochka what do you imagine the best school?

- Closed!

The teacher asks:

- Children, do you know that in heat all substances tend to expand, and in cold they contract?

- Certainly! - says Vovochka. - That's why winter holidays shorter than summer ones.

- Sit down, Ivanov, five! Give me the diary.

- I forgot him.

- Take mine! - Vovochka whispers.

- Children, what order does the spectacled snake belong to?

- To the squad of short-sighted people!

- Vovochka, why are you so pale today?

“And my mother washed me yesterday.”

Vovochka was late for school. The teacher asks him:

- What happened, why so late?

- I was attacked by a bandit!

- Oh horror! And what did he do?

- I took away my homework...

The girl complains to her parents:

- How can I get rid of this Vovochka? There is no more strength!

- Why didn’t he please you? Over there he helps carry his briefcase after class.

- Yes, I’m tired: I’ve already accumulated about fifty of them!

The latest school jokes

During the test, the teacher closely monitors the students and sometimes kicks out those who notice spurs. The director looks into the classroom.

— Are you writing a test? There are probably a lot of people here who like to cheat.

- No, the amateurs are already in the corridor, only the professionals remain.

Anatomy teacher:

—What are the last teeth a person develops?

- Plug-in.

- What time is it: I jump, you jump, he jumps, they jump?

- Change!

- Do you know what is the worst thing for an excellent student?

- Get a bad grade?

- No, learn a lesson and not have time to answer.

There is a lesson in progress. There is noise and commotion in the next office, the teacher cannot stand it and heads there. He grabs the loudest one by the ear and takes him into his class. Ten minutes later the door opens, a student from that office looks into the class and quietly says:

- Can we have our teacher back?

The father asks his son:

- What can I do to stop you getting bad marks?

- Ask the teacher not to call me!

Teacher says:

- Everyone be quiet! So that you can hear a fly fly by!

Everyone immediately fell silent. Five minutes later Vanya can’t stand it and asks:

- Mikhail Ivanovich, when will you let a fly fly?

- Now let's prove the Pythagorean Theorem.

Student from the last desk:

- Or maybe it’s not necessary? We take your word for it!

When asked about the first female pilot, the students named Baba Yaga.

I go to school - no one... I go to Odnoklassniki - the whole class!

In a math lesson:

- Anya, how much will your mother pay for 3 kilograms of potatoes, if a kilogram costs 30 rubles 10 kopecks?

- This is still unknown.

- Why?

- And she always bargains.

A high school student approaches his father:

Dad, they're calling you to school.

- What happened?

- Well, it’s a little thing, I broke the window.

Father went. A few days later the son again:

- Dad, they are calling you to school.

- What did you do again?

- Yes, the laboratory room blew up.

Father went.

The son approaches him for the third time:

- Dad, they ask you to go to school again.

- That’s it, I’m tired, I won’t go anymore!

- That's right, dad. Why do you need to walk through the ruins...