Friday, 13 Feb 2015

Modest - moderate in all demands, humble; meek and undemanding of himself; not putting his personality first, not dreaming about himself; decent, quiet to use.
Dictionary Russian language by Vladimir Dahl

Modesty is the absence of desire for luxury; For a modest person, little is enough for comfort.
Modesty is the absence of the intention to exalt oneself; a modest person is sincerely interested in others no less, and often more than in himself.
Modesty is respect for the norms of morality and morality accepted in society.
Modesty is the willingness to recognize and respect the strengths of others.

The benefits of modesty

Modesty gives freedom - from self-confidence and vanity.
Modesty makes it possible to learn from the people around you, adopting their best qualities.
Modesty ensures independence - from excessive comfort and luxury.
Modesty provides an incentive to achieve more; a modest person believes that before people appreciate him as a person, he must achieve results in his business.

Shows of modesty in everyday life

Hearing. A person who loves and knows how to listen to his interlocutor with sincere interest is modest.
Concessions. By yielding in ordinary everyday situations, a person shows modesty and respect for others.
Charity. A person who does charity work and does not advertise it demonstrates a whole series virtues; modesty is one of them.
Family education. By instilling in a child a sincere interest in the people around him and suppressing manifestations of selfishness, parents instill modesty in him.

How to achieve modesty

Modesty is largely the result of upbringing and the result internal work person above you. Modesty is controllable by a person, and it can be cultivated in oneself, avoiding vanity in every possible way.
Relationships with family. By showing respect and reverence for elders, interest in equals and concern for juniors, a person develops modesty.
Interest in the people around you. A modest person is genuinely interested in those around him; each of them has something to learn. By being interested in people and not sticking out one’s own self, a person learns modesty.
Help those in need. By helping those who need it, and not expecting a return in the form of fame, a person shows modesty.
Forbearance towards mistakes. A modest person does not boast of education and does not point out to others their mistakes; be it ignorance of any literary quotation or wrong choice cutlery for eating fish.

Golden mean
Vanity, arrogance | complete lack of modesty
Modesty
Self-deprecation | modesty elevated to absolute, the other side of pride
Catchphrases about modesty

Excessive modesty is nothing more than hidden pride.
- A. Chenier -

One must beware of taking modesty to the point of humiliation.
- A. Bakikhanov -

Achieve modesty if you want to achieve wisdom. Increase modesty if you have already achieved wisdom.
- E.P. Blavatsky -

Be modest - this is the kind of pride that least irritates others.
- Jules Renard -

Venerable Macarius of Optina / Letters of the Venerable Macarius of Optina. About humility, self-reproach and patience of sorrows
During his lifetime, the Venerable Optina Elder Macarius was an example of special modesty and humility. And his letters to the laity are imbued with the same spirit of acquiring true Christian virtues.
Fyodor Dostoevsky / Poor people
Dostoevsky's novel "Poor People" is interesting not so much for its social pathos, but in a bright way the modest official Makar Devushkin, whom the author managed to reveal in all the beauty and nobility of his soul, using the form of correspondence between the hero and his beloved.

Think about a party you recently attended. I'm sure there was at least one guy among the guests who blabbered non-stop about his accomplishments: about how big his account was and what a huge renovation he was undertaking on his gigantic house. And it doesn’t matter whether you appreciate his achievements, the main thing is that he is absolutely confident in his magnificence! Of course, there were others at the party no less successful people who did not trumpet their achievements at every corner. We highly value such modest people and suspect that they do not have a very high opinion of themselves.

Humble people seem to underestimate their talent and accomplishments, and even deliberately downplay them. If they truly understand how successful they are, why are they so shy? Or is modesty impossible without deception? No, I don’t even want to think about it.

However, Irene McMullin, in her article in Philosophical Quarterly, questions the conventional notion of " modesty" and asks us to think about what we mean by the concept " be modest».

McMullin argues that humble people are aware of their good qualities, that's why they know how to downplay them. For example, imagine Jane, a famous film director. If Jane doesn't understand how amazingly successful she is compared to other filmmakers, she'll likely talk endlessly about her box-office films and Cannes awards, unaware of how people feel when they listen to her. This is the paradox of modesty: You must understand how successful you are in order to know how not to offend others.

This position is shared by philosopher (and fellow blogger) Aaron Ben-Zeev, who argues that modesty involves a self-awareness of success with a belief in the equality of people. A humble person knows that he or she has some outstanding qualities, but at the same time knows that these qualities are not particularly important. That's why Bill general manager, included in the Forbes magazine list, talks with John, a janitor at his company. And although Bill earns more money, has more power, and is generally more successful than John, he understands that deep down he and John are equally valuable and significant.

Aristotle wrote that virtue lies in the “golden mean” between two extremes. Humility is about the same balance between bragging about your accomplishments and hiding them. These extremes have one common feature: They deny other people the respect they deserve. A falsely modest person makes others feel awkward when he feigns virtue by boasting about his accomplishments. For example, when someone we know received an MBA education in Harvard says with a wink that he attended "a little college in Cambridge," we cringe at his false modesty. He knows that everyone knows where he studied, but nevertheless he spreads his feathers like a smug peacock.

Moreover, when excessive modest man sincerely avoids talking about his or her success, he or she understands that it is difficult for others to hear about it. For example, Jane, a director, dinner party. When the topic of discussion is her recent film, what should she say, like a truly humble person? Of course, she shouldn't quote rave reviews or mention sold-out box office returns. But she shouldn't deny her accomplishments with comments like, "Oh, it's not that good." No matter how sincerely she says it (unlike the winking Mr. Harvard), the other guests will likely feel offended, as if Jane doubted their sincerity.

Instead, Jane should acknowledge her success, not minimize it (“Thank you, I've been trying for years to achieve this”), show her appreciation to others (“I get so much support from my friends, their faith means so much to me”), or change topic of conversation (“Thank you, but what about your new book, I would like to write like you!”). Any of these techniques will show that she is calm about her success. She doesn't deny it, but admits that it doesn't make her the best person than anyone else. Yes, she achieved success with this film, she is better than some in this, but worse in others.

On the surface, modesty seems to be an inward-centered thing, the way people think about themselves. But, as it turns out, modesty is the way a person sees and respects others. To be truly humble, don't deny your own triumph. In fact, you have to be aware and accept it.

After all, virtue is truly impossible without honesty.

If you find an error, please highlight a piece of text and click Ctrl+Enter.

A modest man will modestly refuse to perform in public. And everyone will agree with this - after all, he is modest.

Or is it not? Am I doing something wrong?

Let's figure it out.

Why does a person become modest? A it's easier to be modest– you don’t need to do anything. Stand modestly and show with all your appearance: “This is how I am, modest.”

Why modest person– it’s profitable.

Why modest person– because it’s easier to hide your fear. Modesty is fear.

Modesty is a fetter. Having once tasted the sweetness of “modesty,” a person increasingly plays this game. This win-win game. You'll never lose. But... this game sucks you in like a swamp.

Dear reader! I was asked to write this article. I once expressed similar thoughts at a youth club. One girl, a shy girl, took these words to heart. Now she says it was for her the most important what she heard in the Club. Now she is a successful, beautiful, cheerful, delightful woman. I have long forgotten about my modesty. And she has persistently reminded me several times to write this article.

If a child shows modesty, this is understandable. He doesn't know how to do anything yet. He is afraid to show others his inability.

Modesty is learned in childhood. And this is understandable. For adults, a modest child is less of a hassle. This behavior is supported in every possible way. There seems to be nothing wrong.

What about the “modest adult”? - How is that?

And this is an adult who knows how to play “modest”. And, occasionally, this game helps in different situations.

But when is an adult always modest? This is good? If modesty main feature this person? This is good?

There is something to be proud of - modesty

Many adults even take pride in their modesty. They don’t hide it away from prying eyes, but are proud of it.

Although, what is there to be proud of?

Modest adult. What is this?

Modest salary? A modest car? Modest apartment? A modest life.
Well, what's good about this?

I think modesty is not the best trait of an adult. Especially if this is the main characteristic of a person.

What to do, you ask?

What kind of smart guy writes this nonsense? Well, what does this smart guy offer now? And where are the practical tips?

And please read this article to the end.

I continue.

Is it easy to stop being modest?

No. Not easy. It's not very easy. And there are many reasons for this.

The desire to appear better than you really are. Nice wish. But this leads to fear.

Fear of showing everyone that this is not true.

I want to be better. And in words it works. But in reality?

What if everyone sees that I’m not like that? “It’s better to remain modestly silent.” I'd rather sit modestly. With a smile on your face, everything is fine.

Modesty is something to be proud of as a child.

What difference does it make what a child is proud of? beautiful toy or its absence?

"Ah! What a humble boy!”- the adults are touched. All the children walk on their heads, but this one sits modestly in the corner. – “Golden child!”

Sad? Me too.

But a child is a child. And often it is not he who chooses his life. He copies it from his parents, from those around him. So let's leave the children alone. Let’s just make a note to ourselves, in the convolutions of our heads, that we will teach our children differently.

Let's return to the adults we consider ourselves to be.

Modesty is a matter of pride.

“Modesty is the kind of pride that least irritates others”, - Jules Renard. Modesty is simply well-disguised pride.

A modest person is unnoticeable, because he is modest. You have to try hard to see a humble person. They are not there at a quick glance. They are “invisible”. But those people who erected modesty as a matter of pride- to everyone will demonstrate.

If we clearly noticed modesty, it was shown to us, it was presented to us.

This is behavior that can be used to characterize a person - he is a modest person. But why did the person show us modesty, and not some other behavior? Yes, because this is the best he could imagine in this situation. Yes, because that's what he does best. He couldn't think of anything else (or didn't want to). And this, most often, is due to the inability to be different.

For example, classmates met. Everyone is standing and smiling. Someone starts a conversation, someone supports it, someone puts in “their two cents”... And someone modestly remains silent. Our modest one. Yes, he simply has nothing to say. And if there is something to say, then he doesn’t know how to do it. So it stands modestly. It seems?

Modest people don't do anything bad. They are loved. They are taken into account. (They don't love me anymore immodest.).

The humble do bad things to myself. Exactly modesty(well, and other behavior) becomes an obstacle to human development.

There is an illusion that a humble person can be forced to do something. Not always.

There are some that are so modest that it is difficult to even move them.

Immodesty.

How I am “admired” objections:"What do you do you offer? Be immodest?” - Stupid question, don’t you agree?

To rush from one extreme to another is already stupidity.

Immodesty is also bad.

There is no need to rush to the other extreme - immodesty.

Although, if we have to choose between these two extremes, then immodesty is much more useful for human development. After all, a person does something, makes mistakes, gains experience. Moreover, the experience is both positive and negative.

Forget about both modesty and immodesty. Get busy! Training! Development.

Try to at least do something, and not be modest. At least show yourself somehow. But there is no need to show yourself. You need to train not on stage, but before it.

Skills are learned by studying, not by taking an exam.

If a person is modest in communication, he needs to take communication courses.

If a person is modest on the sports field, he needs to go to sports sections. If you are modest on the beach, it is useful to take care of your body. If modesty is in a nightclub, go learn dancing.

It is not necessary to go to courses or trainings. You can teach yourself what you don’t know how to do.

Go and meet all the girls in a row, if modesty has so far prevented you from finding a good girlfriend.

Scary? – Develop courage.

Nothing to say? – Read useful articles, everything has been written there a long time ago.

Don’t want to approach everyone, but only the beautiful ones? Only to the best? Yes, my friend, your sense of self-worth is off the charts. You yourself are not one of those people. Go to mediocre people like yourself. No, choose an even lower bar. Find the same ones, modest ones. Find a common language :)

Modesty also manifests itself in inability to accept compliments.

“Well, no need...”
“Come on, not worth the compliments...”

Modesty- wish show yourself more better than there is on actually. By playing a modest person.

Modesty is a manifestation of a sense of self-importance (SIM)

Or feelings of self-importance (SSE), who cares what anyone calls it.

Be modest- means to show your self-importance just like the one who boasts does. These are simply two types of posturing.

Objections

No need to object. I already agree that modesty can be useful.

Yes, modesty is good.

Let's figure it out good for whom?

• Good for the employee. - It’s easier to manage it that way.
• Good for the child. – Less hassle for parents
• Good for a student. – It’s easier for teachers.
• The wife is modest. – My husband has fewer expenses.
• Let everyone around you be modest! All! This will make me feel good!!!

Therefore, this article will have many objections. Because there is fear - fear, what if other people to whom we are accustomed will cease to be modest. What then?

There are many professions where modesty is clearly not desirable.

Modesty and oratory.

Is this compatible?

Modestly came out modestly spoke - no one noticed - he modestly sat down, with modest applause.

Agree - it turns out to be a sad sight.

Hug - and cry! 🙂

However, this is exactly how I tried to perform at school when forced to perform. Other schoolchildren do the same. And, perhaps, at school - this was the best option.

Now I teach public speaking. And I would like my students to perform brightly, so that their speeches are remembered, so that after the performance there is enthusiastic applause.

Dear reader! I was asked to write this article. I once expressed similar thoughts at a youth club. One girl, a shy girl, took these words to heart. Now she says that this was the most important thing for her that she heard at the Club. Now she is a successful, beautiful, cheerful, delightful woman. I have long forgotten about my modesty. And she has persistently reminded me several times to write this article.

The accelerated pace of life and tightening rules of survival force people to adapt to modern world. Some qualities that were previously considered a stable advantage for a person have now begun to act as a hindrance. These include such a character trait as modesty. Call it definitely negative or positive quality it is forbidden.

What is meant by modesty?

Modesty is a collective concept that includes several interpretations, depending on the situation. Directories define it as the ability to restrain oneself and one’s needs within certain limits, always remaining calm. Modesty means moderation in all areas of human activity.

In a collective interpretation, modesty includes:

• moderation;
• lack of craving for excess;
• complete renunciation of the desire to show oneself, to control someone, to flaunt one’s skills and abilities;
• full compliance with the framework of decency that is prescribed by certain moral principles;
• calmness, decency in communication with other people;
• humility, obedience;
• shyness.

Timidity is often referred to as shyness, but this is not entirely true. The first is the result of upbringing, the imposition of strong attitudes and clear rules, and the second manifests itself unintentionally, as an innate feature of the personality structure.

Modesty is an acquired habit, or rather a set of reflexes that determine the behavioral line in a given situation. This trait is a component of an adaptive behavior model that allows one to integrate into any society without attracting unnecessary attention.

In many sets of etiquette rules, exposing yourself in any way is considered bad form. But today this quality is unlikely to be too useful if used to its fullest extent. A modest person may not boast about his virtues not only because he is noble or does not consider his achievements to be something unique, but because he waits for others to present him correctly.

Shyness is not always useful

Modesty is neither a character trait nor a part of temperament. This is a deliberate understatement of one's abilities, hiding them from everyone's attention virtues, obedience to please certain people. The goals of such a behavioral response can be very different.

How does a timid personality manifest itself?

A modest person and his “positivity” is a stereotype imposed for centuries by those who were in senior ranks, church and other authorities. It is worth paying attention to the purpose for which timidity was promoted and continues to be done. The superiors need to keep the masses of people in fear and obedience. This is such a psychological move, throughout many years setting boundaries in the subconscious that are difficult to cross later.

If we take an example from the times of serfdom, then the servants had to be well-trained and show obedience, but the owners were by no means humble people. Not a single poet, writer, musician, singer, artist, politician I could not achieve a position in society and recognition of my talent, being a timid person.

A modest person is essentially a hypocrite. He is not able to say what he thinks, because he is accustomed to say only the necessary things, pronounce memorized phrases, and be more interested in the person of the interlocutor than in himself. Many modest people even follow the rules, knowing full well that they will be accepted in a certain society and presented in the right light.

Shyness leads to personality degradation. The individual is not able to develop normally spiritually, sexually, or learn. A modest individual will not be able to occupy a leading position, because according to all rules of decency he should not be subject to such sinful thoughts. There is also no need for a modest person to get an education - it is impossible to show off one’s talents.

In terms of communication with the opposite sex, a modest person also adheres to certain attitudes. If at first this excites the mind of the other half, then over time nothing changes, the spouse remains a cold statue. But everyone has their own needs for love and affection.

No progress is expected in the work either. While the humble guy is helping his neighbor, the more adroit employee is already moving up the ladder. career ladder. By denying himself simple everyday trifles, following imposed attitudes, without developing, a timid person dooms his children to this. He is building a zombie society that does not try to stand out, but blindly follows the ruler into the pit, meekly submitting to his will, because it is right.

Shy people have a harder time moving up the career ladder

When does timidity form?

They talk about modesty differently if it developed from shyness. In this state of affairs, a person develops a fear of people. By the age of 2, many children become shy, hide behind their mother’s skirt, and lower their gaze at the sight of an unfamiliar person. It looks cute, but without proper correction, this behavior, and most importantly the reaction that provokes it, becomes the norm and significantly reduces the quality of life of an adult.

For such a person, talking with an unfamiliar person causes fear. She is afraid of saying or doing something wrong. The main cause of anxiety is the fear of being ridiculed by other people. This character trait is called false modesty. Personality due constant fear is under nervous tension, which leads to various mental disorders and physiological abnormalities.

Where to look for the origins of modesty

Modesty, downtroddenness, shyness, fear originate from childhood. Children - how blank slate paper. They don’t know how to show their emotions correctly and don’t know how to manage them. Behavioral reactions to stimuli from the outside world are shaped by parents. By forcing a child to conform to the canons of society, we often forget that he is an individual. Just remember how in hospitals mothers are told that there must be 10 teeth per year, the child must know a certain number of words and no less, etc. And most importantly, the word “should” is everywhere.

Remember that the baby does not owe anything to anyone. It is those around you who must set an example of correct behavior. Each child is a bright, positive individual who does not think in stereotypes. By being excessively rude, indulging whims, and violently forcing us to do something that doesn’t work out, we kill the personality in children, adjusting them to general framework, from which falsely modest individuals will never escape.

A humble person is comfortable with others. There are no problems with him, he doesn’t ask unnecessary questions, he is delicate and courteous, he always presents his help on a silver platter. But timid people are unhappy; they do not have the opportunity to move, improve and grow spiritually. Without being in harmony with oneself, a person gradually collapses as a person.

Modesty can lead to a negative emotional state

How to eliminate modesty

The character quality of modesty must be eradicated. You cannot live to please other people. It is a natural state for a person to be adequately selfish and do everything for himself and to improve his future. When communicating with people, an adequate person understands perfectly well that, by providing, for example, his financial assistance, he will then receive something in return (not to be confused with selfless help in emergency situations). This may apply to tangible and intangible assets. A modest person refuses any manifestation of himself. He only gives, but receives nothing in return.

1. The first thing a modest person needs to do is think about his desires and aspirations. Learn to express your point of view and refuse people. Always helping everyone, you often end up losing, justifying it with your modesty.
2. Do what interests you. Your well-being will never become stable if you do not begin to realize yourself. A person strives with all his nature for a meaningful life, so he searches for himself, but a modest person has no need for this - he will be useful anywhere, he doesn’t care. Sign up for courses acting for beginners or for a club of poetry lovers.
3. Express yourself in creative ideas. Share your achievements on social networks. Exchange experiences with other users. Gradually reach new level, trying to promote works to exhibitions of emerging artists. This will give you confidence.



Modest

Modest

adj., used very often

Morphology: modest, modest, modestly, modest And modest; more modest; adv. modestly

1. Modest they call a person who does not boast of his merits, merits and, when communicating with other people, does not like to attract a lot of attention, which is considered a sign of good upbringing.

The entire scientific community was well acquainted with his works, but the professor himself was a modest man and appeared at conferences extremely rarely.

2. Modest They call a person who does not spend more money on himself than is necessary in everyday life.

Modest in your needs.

Unpretentious

3. Modest They call something that doesn't attract much attention.

Modest appearance. | Modest colors of northern nature. | He always dressed in a modest gray suit.

Discreet

4. Modest they call something that consists of the most necessary things and has no excesses.

A modest lunch. | A modest wedding. | Modest furniture. | Modest apartment. | Over the years of farming, the modest house of the former collective farm chairman turned into a three-story cottage.

Simple, ordinary, poor

5. Modest refers to an employee who occupies an ordinary, insignificant position.

A modest employee in the Ministry of the Interior, but what vanity!

Private

6. Modest they call someone's income if it is small or insignificant.

Modest salary. | Modest income.

7. Modest they call something that covers a small part of something in general.

Have modest knowledge. | Set yourself a modest goal. | What we see in museums is only a modest piece of the rich art of the past.

Moderate, limited

8. Modest they call something that is not known popular.

The athlete now plays for a modest Italian club.

modesty noun, and.

modest adj.

modest adj.

Explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Dmitriev. D. V. Dmitriev. 2003.

Synonyms:

See what “modest” is in other dictionaries:

Temperate, temperate, moderate, unpretentious, undemanding, meager, well-behaved, decent, decorous. Prot. shameless Wed. . See well-behaved, temperate, meek, small, mediocre, decent, bashful, quiet... Dictionary... ... Dictionary of synonyms

HUMBLE, moderate in all demands, humble; meek and undemanding of himself; not putting his personality first, not dreaming about himself; decent, quiet to handle; ·opposite self-confident, presumptuous, proud, selfish; proud... Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary

HUMBLE, modest, modest; modest, modest, modest, modest and (rarely) modest. 1. One who does not strive to show his qualities, merits, merits, devoid of arrogance and arrogance. A modest person. Modestly (adv.) to talk about... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

Skromny, Vasily Mikhailovich Vasily Mikhailovich Skromny (August 26, 1964, Odessa, Ukrainian SSR, USSR) Soviet actor who played Makar Gusev in the film “The Adventures of Electronics”. A fifteen-year-old Odessa guy who was cast in the role of Makar Gusev... ... Wikipedia

HUMBLE, oh, oh; me, me, me, me and me. 1. Restrained in revealing one’s merits and merits, not boastful. The scientist is modest. 2. Discreet, moderate, simple and decent. Modest behavior. Modest appearance. Dress modestly (adv.) ... ... Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

modest- modest, brief. f. modest, modest, modest, modest and permissibly modest; compare Art. more modest... Dictionary of difficulties of pronunciation and stress in modern Russian language

modest- oh, oh; skro/men, modest/, skro/me 1) Not flaunting his merits, merits, not boastful. A modest person. The artist must be modest, because his light, like the moon, only comes from the sun, but he himself is not the sun (Prishvin). 2)… … Popular dictionary of the Russian language

modest- exceptionally modest extremely modest amazingly modest amazingly modest ... Dictionary of Russian Idioms

modest- Old High German – (h)rama (frame, border). Common Slavic – krom (frame, edge, edge). Czech – skrovny (modest, moderate). Polish – modest. The word “modest” has been known in Russian since the 17th century. The word is borrowed from Polish, where... ... Etymological dictionary Russian language Semenov

Modest, modest, modest, blr. modesty to reassure, Czech, Slavic modest modest, Polish. modest - the same. Derived from *krom; Wed except plural loom, which is associated with d.v. n. (h)rama frame, bed, original. the one who stays in... Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language by Max Vasmer