Aries

Let's start getting acquainted with how zodiac signs get offended with a cute lamb. Anyone who managed to hurt him need not worry too much. This villain won't have time to dodge anyway. Aries are compassionate people and are unable to remember grievances for a long time. They will definitely forgive: once on the head with something heavy, the second time on the kidneys with a foot. Later, however, they will also regret it if they catch up with the offender. But in general, these cute creatures are able not to react to stimuli if they have headphones in their ears, according to their horoscope. How the zodiac signs are offended, Aries, in principle, doesn’t care. The lambs concentrate on their world, where justice reigns (as they understand it). It is better not to touch an offended Aries for a couple of days (or years). Then he will forget about the evil deed and will behave as before. Aries have a strange ability to try on the suffering of the offender. In a couple of days, they will really try to understand him; they may even bring flowers to the hospital, where the former “villain” is restoring his damaged health.

Taurus

If your loved ones or acquaintances are patronized by this horned inhabitant of heaven, then information about how zodiac signs are offended is vital. Read and understand, it will not be superfluous. It is strictly not recommended to irritate a Taurus. He just has great, incredible patience. He will begin to cherish, worry, nurture, without showing his emotional state in any way. When the time comes, he will sit the “villain” on an uncomfortable stool and begin to read the notation with abandon. Taurus approaches all matters extremely responsibly. You will have to sit on the lanky “calvary” for a long time, but you won’t be able to escape. Taurus will remember all the dirty tricks and sins you have committed since the time of King Pea. In his speech, he will definitely include the most important information about how different zodiac signs are offended, focusing on his own. Here it is better not to remain silent, but to ask for forgiveness. Maybe you'll be lucky and Taurus won't let things get to you.

Twins

It is unpleasant to quarrel with a representative of this sign. And for both sides. Gemini will be surprised by such impudence and will instantly react to the insult. The hurricane will not last long; almost everyone will survive. The villain should not be afraid of assault. He will be dragged through the mud with words. The scandal will also end suddenly. Gemini will never remember you again!

Cancer

People under the protection of this sign are so sentimental and romantic that those around them, against their will, fall under their charm and relax. And they should remember about the claws. Cancers take offense often and tastefully. These people have hypertrophied sensitivity. Any little thing can hurt them and plunge them into the abyss of angry experiences. If you notice such a change in mood, immediately sincerely repent! In the first moments, the villain still has a chance to escape without much loss. True, Cancers will try to thoroughly check the offender for the truth of repentance, expecting a catch. You need to convince with all your might, otherwise terrible revenge awaits you. Cancers cook it with pleasure, trying to touch the particularly delicate strings of the villain’s soul in order to hit harder. Creative people will no longer care how offended the zodiac signs are; they will put the comic horoscope aside. For balance, Cancers need to return justice to the world, giving the offender equal suffering, which they will certainly do.

Lion

With representatives of this star tribe, you can forget about caution. Interested in how zodiac signs get offended, people read about Leos with surprise and inspiration. And the whole point is that kings should not react to some kind of stupidity. Leo may well ignore an offensive remark and turn away at the moment when they are trying to offend him. Why should he, a royal person, deal with the petty claims of mortals? Well, if you are persistent, he will roar so much that your legs will shake. This will be the end of the incident. Leos do not bother their heads with nonsense, they already have a lot of royal affairs, and even more plans. Particularly annoying offenders may be shown their fangs. But this rarely happens. Their authority is so indisputable that few people dare to annoy them.

Virgo

By studying touchiness according to zodiac signs, astrologers discovered a real psychological phenomenon. He is associated with Virgo. These people are basically not touchy. To touch them, you have to try very hard. If you still decide to offend Virgo, take care of the will first. And the point is not that the counterpart will harbor a grudge. Not at all. Virgos forget insults quickly, almost instantly. But they will act in accordance with their life principles. They will put the villain on all the black lists that have been going on since infancy. And those who are designated there are supposed to be rewarded according to their deeds. Revenge will inevitably overtake the offender, and even from the direction from which they did not expect. Life will seem completely destroyed, heart broken, ideals debunked and the like. This unfortunate man will also not be able to connect the catastrophe with the offended Virgo.

Scales

Here's who to focus on when learning how different zodiac signs get offended. Libra loves to pout, deliberately showing the villain the full extent of his vile fall. These people don't know how to take revenge. But they will rush around with their resentment with desperate tenacity and taste. If you don’t apologize right away, get ready for censure from the “wide circles of the public.” Libra will definitely notify all their acquaintances and not so much about how heinously they were treated. Black gossip is their strong point. The story will drag on for many years. Libras are fundamentally opposed to evil, wherever it is found. It is important for them to eradicate it from the planet; they will spare no effort to do so. Try to clarify the relationship immediately, otherwise you will be included in the list of fiends of hell with all possible consequences.

Scorpion

Scorpio is the master of revenge. These people carefully collect and store evil towards themselves and resentment, like collectors. For every misdeed there will be retribution. This is not just a principle for them, but a passion. The offender will regret that he ever got involved with Scorpio. By the way, this is the only sign that does not disdain physical violence. He won’t wave his fists, but he can give a fight. Scorpions follow the trail of the offender more stubbornly than a greyhound chasing an animal. Their poison will certainly overtake the prey. The only person who is outside the risk zone is Scorpio's loved one. Everything will be forgiven for this person.

Sagittarius

There is no sign more peaceful. However, even these cuties can be seriously hurt. The result will be worse than when Scorpio was offended. Sagittarians will not plan revenge or sulk in corners. These are open and honest people, they will pour out their emotions on your head. The scandal will be as grandiose as the experiences of the affected Sagittarius. More than once during this phantasmagoria, the offender will come up with the idea of ​​using a rope with soap. Believe me, it is easier to give up your life than to withstand the angry outpourings of Sagittarius. Try to distract him by offering to travel together at your expense. Having heard about the upcoming trip to distant lands, Sagittarius will forget the differences. The second time, try not to run into his anger if you value the relationship. Sagittarius will go into the distance, not wanting to bother with the re-education of the “incorrigible” villain.

Capricorn

This is someone who is not inclined to react to other people's stupidity. Capricorn can only be offended by malicious criticism of his favorite project. In this case, you risk hitting his pre-sharpened horns. It is better to immediately approach the solution of the issue constructively, come up and explain. Five minutes of shame, as they say, and all problems are solved. Otherwise, you will know what Capricorn's revenge is. This man is patient and calm. He won't throw a tantrum, he won't make a scandal. Even communication will be the same as before. He'll wait. And when you need his support in an important matter, he will forget about the existence of such a person. In addition, Capricorns spend a lot of effort trying to win the friendship of the powers that be. These influential people will also forget about you under the influence of an offended Capricorn. The world will flow forward to success, and you will remain suffering on the shore.

Aquarius

Do you think that you have offended the person protected by this sign? In vain. Aquarius reacts negatively emotionally only to rejection of his brilliant ideas. Criticism hurts and worries him at the same time. He won’t figure it out, that’s not his character. First of all, Aquarius will doubt the mental abilities of the offender. Having drawn conclusions, he will decide that it is not worth wasting time on a fool. He will go where there are intellectuals who can appreciate his genius. Do not expect deceit or evil gossip from him behind his back. This person has already forgotten about your existence. His intellect is busy saving the world and generating global ideas. He doesn’t have time to think about the fools who dare to criticize his work. If you want to restore the relationship, you will have to take the initiative. Talk to Aquarius about the essence of the world, the depravity of humanity, prove that you have the right to his attention.

Fish

When figuring out how zodiac signs react to insults, don't miss out on the most important information. Pisces don't like to be offended, but they can. The representative of the sign is not malicious, but will not forgive immediately. The fish will pout its lips, carefully choosing its facial expressions to demonstrate its emotional state to the offender. She will catch your eye, carefully monitoring the reaction. Are you not asking for forgiveness? Oh well. Pisces will forgive, because anger causes wrinkles, and they don’t need that. But from this moment on, a different game will begin. The fish will try to prove to the whole world that they are angelic beings, and you are a demon in the flesh. Believe me, they have no equal in this matter. Before you know it, the public will be on the side of the offended Rybka, and you will already be anathema. Why did you persist, you ask? If they had said right away that they were wrong, everything would have ended before it even began. And now you are faced with a choice: either run to the ends of the earth, or prove that you didn’t jump out of hell.

This is how zodiac signs react to offenders. Astrologers tried to identify characteristic features. Naturally, each person has his own individual characteristics that influence behavior in stressful situations. Observations show that deviations from the given descriptions are at the level of statistical error. How do you react to insults? Did the description match your behavior? Write in the comments to correct the conclusions of stellar researchers.

1. Aries (March 21 - April 20): level of craziness - 30%!
   If you go to the mountains with someone, then only with Aries. They are avid extreme sports enthusiasts, and they will always give a helping hand to their comrade. Aries clearly follow their path and achieve their goals. Many plans are ripening in their heads, which sometimes seem absolutely crazy. One can only envy their courage and perseverance!
2. Taurus (April 21 - May 21): level of craziness - 40%!
   Stubbornness is the main trait of this sign. Taurus will drive anyone crazy: it is so important for them to prove that they are right. This makes them a little strange in the eyes of other people. Taurus are comprehensively developed, they have a kind heart and iron willpower.

   

3. Gemini (May 22 - June 21): level of craziness - 100%!
   The craziest sign of the zodiac. Geminis are fickle and frivolous, you never know what they have in store for you today. But you will never get bored with them! They have a lot of incredible stories and tales from life. Only Geminis are capable of reaching a completely crazy ending in their adventures.

   

4. Cancer (June 22 - July 22): Crazy level - 90%!
   Cancers are famous for their sudden mood swings. They prefer not to leave the house, but if they go to a nightclub, beware. They are the ones who, in a state of intoxication, write crazy messages to their exes. You never know what's on a Cancer's mind, and it drives you crazy!

   

5. Leo (July 23 - August 21): level of madness - 80%!
   Representatives of this sign are accustomed to being the center of attention; they love noisy parties and large companies. Leos quickly get drunk, and this loosens their tongue so much that those around them in their company often have to blush. These people have no brakes, they don’t know how to stop in time.

   

6. Virgo (August 22 - September 23): level of madness - 70%!
   Virgo works tirelessly on herself, strives for perfection in everything. Control and power are her main passions. These people are capable of doing noble deeds, but they expect recognition for it. Their desire to appear ideal in the eyes of people completely takes over them.

   

7. Libra (September 24 - October 23): level of madness - 30%!
   Libras are obsessed with finding balance in everything. Sometimes they are ready to go to extremes, especially when it comes to members of the opposite sex. Libra will do anything to get the object of their affection, even stooping to gossip.

   

8. Scorpio (October 24 - November 22): level of madness - 40%!
   The statement that Scorpios sting unbearably is true. Of course, they have no equal in resourcefulness and insight, but this still does not brighten up their shortcomings. Scorpio is the most sensual sign of the zodiac, he is a master of beautiful courtship and romantic gestures. His sexual energy flows over the edge, so few people manage to cope with this raging flow of passion.

   

9. Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22): level of madness - 50%!
   Sagittarians proudly carry the banner of justice and truth all their lives. And it’s better not to interfere with this! Nothing can outrage them more than a restriction of personal freedom. In addition, Sagittarians are easily fired up by ideas that sometimes blind their minds.

   

10. Capricorn (December 23 - January 20): level of craziness - 60%!
    Capricorns are workaholics! They shoulder the most difficult tasks and tackle them with passion. Capricorns are not averse to showing off their intelligence and professionalism. If they are at the head of any business, you should not expect any concessions.

    Capricorns stick to their guns, even if they are wrong. This feature extends to personal life: the partner will always be on a tight rein. Their madness lies in the desire to keep everything under control.

    

11. Aquarius (January 21 - February 19): level of craziness - 20%!
    Aquarius is like a crazy professor who is used to living in his illusions. It's very easy to cheat, and people are used to using it. That is why this zodiac sign often becomes a victim of scammers, and simply those who are looking for easy prey.

    

12. Pisces (February 20 - March 20): level of madness - 10%!
    Pisces are the least crazy among the other zodiac signs. They are calm and peaceful, you can always rely on them. Pisces are ready to sacrifice their interests just to brighten up someone's loneliness. These character traits make them the most thoughtful, wise and empathetic.

    

According to the eastern horoscope, 2018 will pass under the auspices of the yellow Dog. A comic horoscope for 2018 will tell you what different zodiac signs can expect from an animal.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Aries

It's time for all Aries to put work on the backburner and say to themselves: “Hello, relaxation!” These guys worked really hard in the Year of the Rooster, it’s time to take a break and devote themselves to other areas of activity. Get yourself in order, powder your nose, take your significant other on your arm - and go ahead and look for adventures. Fortunately, as the comic horoscope for 2018 predicts, the Yellow Dog is ready to forgive you everything.

Attention! Don’t forget about your loved ones and relatives, they also need your attention - you can’t spend all your time in a stuffy office and with boring colleagues.

Definitely, next year Aries is the center of the Universe, the world revolves around you. But be careful with fans: there is a risk that someone will want to steal your heart seriously and for a long time. Don’t try to dive headlong into feelings. A dog will not help a drowning person, so remain vigilant.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Taurus

Taurus, are you ready to lose your head? As the comic horoscope 2018 predicts according to the zodiac signs, the Year of the Dog is preparing something mind-blowing for you; quickly hide your horns, otherwise you may scare the animal. It's time to leave your slowness for later and get used to the frantic rhythm, so that you don't have to wait long for the desired results of your scams.

Millions of praise and flattering words will be addressed to the representatives of the sign, no criticism, only charm. What can we say about luck, it will hold Taurus’s arm throughout the next year and accompany them at all important events.

Have you dreamed of eternal mutual love? Here you go! The dog has already managed to prepare for Taurus a meeting with their other half. Looking forward to the sweet taste of the future in 2018? It's about time!

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Gemini

The comic horoscope for 2018 according to the signs states that it is time to gather all the will and strength into a fist and start changing your life. Hey, Gemini, stop lying on the couch and waiting for something to change, get up quickly and get rid of all the unnecessary junk and bad thoughts. The dog has prepared many good opportunities for self-realization for representatives of the sign. Stay positive, change is just around the corner.

If you think about something for a long time, you can end up in the soup, as happened in the story with the rooster. Don't waste time, more action - less talk. And the Dog, for good efforts, will help Gemini experience the taste of true bliss. And if love is long-term, no more five-minute crushes on public transport, under the auspices of the Dog only in the registry office.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for suspicious Cancers

Cancers were too mysterious and depressive, and the Dog came to change everything. Successes and new opportunities will fall into your claws themselves; all you have to do is grab them tightly and not let go. After all, the Yellow Dog doesn’t give everything for nothing, so it’s time for representatives of the sign to break stereotypes and change their life principles; after all, the 21st century is just around the corner.

According to the comic horoscope for 2018, the Dog has prepared a sweet surprise for persistent and obedient Cancers in relationships. Tired of loneliness? Be ready to meet that very person who will gracefully enter your life and share your interests. Don't claw, otherwise you'll scare everyone around you.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for Leo

No matter what Leos do, things don’t work out? And all because, according to the comic horoscope, in 2018 you should put aside your excessive pride, and then the Yellow Dog will reward the representatives of the sign with worthy fruits. Popularity, excessive attention and many fans will fall on Leo’s shoulders like snow. However, this is not new for Leos, because they are used to basking in the rays of glory.

With their chic and lush mane, Lions will conquer more than one lonely heart; the prey itself will fall into the clutches of the king of beasts. You just need to reconsider your relationships with your loved ones; they are unlikely to like your wild ardor and pride, and the Yellow Dog also does not like selfish people.

Comic horoscope for Virgo

In 2018, the comic horoscope recommends that Virgos discard their mask of an unfortunate victim, otherwise the Dog may simply pass you by. From January itself, take matters into your own hands and begin to work fruitfully both on yourself and on your well-being, because this month will decide the outcome of the entire next year. The Dog will reward diligent Virgos with all the blessings and boundless happiness.

But in love it is worth observing complete peace: there will be no end to the fans, the main thing is to choose a worthy candidate for a future together.

Comic horoscope for Libra

In 2018, it’s time for representatives of the sign to forget about their own impulsiveness, but watch their speech. Inadvertently spoken words addressed to your superiors, work colleagues or loved ones may have a bad impact on your reputation, and the Dog will not be able to pull you out of the fog of reproaches.

The dog advises you to listen to what Libra is saying. Good words don’t always sound sincere, be careful. Communicate only with those who pull you forward, and not to the deep dark bottom. And stop weighing everything so carefully, otherwise you will be left with nothing, while your neighbor is already purchasing a new car.

Comic horoscope for Scorpios

The comic horoscope for 2018 for all signs promises Scorpios incredible wealth, love and good luck, if representatives of the sign stop stinging everyone. Energy will flow like a river, inspiring Scorpios to do new things and crazy things. These guys will achieve the desired career growth at any cost, even if they have to stick out their sting.

Carefully! Don't joke with Scorpios!

It’s time for representatives of the sign to melt their selfish hearts and show sensitivity, because without this, the Dog will not be able to help maintain harmony in their personal lives. Forget about narcissism, otherwise the patroness of the year may accidentally forget about you.

Comic horoscope for Sagittarius

What reward can Sagittarius expect in 2018? Of course, “Adviser of the Year”, because the wisdom of these guys is simply off the charts. They are ready to help anyone, for this the Dog certainly will not remain indifferent to the representatives of the sign. However, while helping others, you should not forget about yourself. Other people's problems are someone else's, but it's time to worry about your own too.

Success in the financial sector is inevitable, you can safely change jobs and throw banknotes left and right - but be careful. Parties, unbridled fun and a lot of entertainment await Sagittarius, but don’t forget about sleep: with bags under your eyes, you may not notice the love of your life walking somewhere nearby.

Comic horoscope for Capricorns

In 2018, point your horns towards your goals: great success is close and any obstacles can be jumped over.

Forget about melancholy and boredom, the Dog has something to please the representatives of the sign - this is success both in finances and in personal life.

Cupid is already aiming straight at your heart and will shoot at it in 2018. Capricorns will drown in an ocean of love and attention, what else is needed for happiness? These guys know how to love and deserve love forever. Even if not, don’t be upset, any relationship is also an experience.

Comic horoscope for Aquarius

Who knows, these guys know how to spill water. And in 2018 they will be ready to pour out a stream of their endless ideas and creative impulses to the broad masses, and all thanks to the Dog with her inspiration for the representatives of the sign. It is better to take action and direct the stream of water in the right direction, then the result will be appropriate.

The eastern patroness also prepares surprises for Aquarius in their personal lives. A waterfall of love and passion will completely cover the representatives of the water element, just don’t forget to breathe so as not to lose your mind. And stop being so jealous, it's time to learn to trust your soulmate.

Comic horoscope for Pisces

2018 is the most favorable year for Pisces to finally leave their usual aquarium and move to other water spaces. After all, as long as you can sit in one place, swim around and around, boldly swim forward and swim faster to your goals, and the Yellow Dog only accompanies these actions.

All the sea treasures will be yours as soon as you decide to go out into the world and conquer others. But for single Pisces, the coming year 2018 is simply ideal for dizzying novels, perhaps long-term ones. Be prepared, Cupid won't miss.

Comic horoscope for 2018 for schoolchildren and children

The comic horoscope for children for 2018 has prepared something very special - homework, of course, is not the same as schoolwork, but also important. All children of the zodiac signs should be more active both in school life and extracurricular activities. Then good grades will flow like a river, and there will be sweets not only on holidays.

Get creative and improve school processes, automatic cheat sheet scattering or a new cheating technique will also work. But at the same time, study, study, study - and praise will fall on your young shoulders, and then, look, gold medals are close. Be careful, otherwise you will have to wash the floor and wipe the dust in the classroom all year.

Comic horoscope in verse for 2018

Let's start with Aries for a comic horoscope in verse for 2018

These guys don't care

When do Taurus people know how to relax?

And only the best is selected.

And with Gemini you will never get bored,

They are always the soul of the company.

Cancers will spend a year without adversity,

They will devote time to love.

And Leos with their beautiful words

Ready to conquer anyone.

Happiness will knock on the Virgos' house,

The dog will come rushing with good news.

Many wonderful hours await

In the year of the Dog of wise Libra.

It is better for Scorpios to hide their sting,

So as not to annoy Fortune.

And it’s time for Sagittarius to forget

About despondency and everyday life.

Note to Capricorns:

Don't swear incessantly.

Aquarius should act more boldly

Grab your lucky chance faster.

But Pisces will have to

Live a year without sorrows and grievances.

Funny horoscope 3.50 /5 (4 votes)

Aries is an emotional bastard.

If he is passionate about something, he does not bother to explain his actions to others, he simply acts as he sees fit. Pride does not allow asking for forgiveness. I am convinced that the truth is in him.
Excuses: “Something came up”, “Damn confused me” and the like.

Taurus is a greedy bastard.

We are obsessed with the idea of ​​purchasing. A purposeful avenger, he always calculates the trajectory of the strike to be sure.
Excuses: "You are worthy of such a fate".

Geminis are a careless bastard.

Loves games, jokes, cheerful company. The eternal dichotomy of evil and good. For the sake of a joke, he devalues ​​rules and traditions, depriving them of drama, sincerely not understanding what he is doing and quickly forgets about it.
Excuses: “Are you offended? WHY?"

Cancer is a miserable bastard.

Because of his vulnerability, vulnerability, receptivity, he is always an “angel-like creature” who innocently suffered, while his opponent is a monster in “devilish guise”, even if Cancer himself is a champion in nastiness and dirty tricks. He will also make sure that the whole world knows how unfairly you treated him.
Excuses: “It’s your fault that I’m like this!”

Leo is a pompous bastard.

Well, everything is clear here, the crown is pressing, the greatness of the world is being distorted. Everything is divided into “He” and “the rest.” He is great, the others are dust underfoot.
Excuses: “I wanted it that way.”

Virgo is a vindictive bastard.

In the eternal pursuit of perfection, impeccability and correctness, he paints his portrait of “God in the flesh on earth”, such a walking messiah, and don’t let you be careless in speaking unsatisfactorily and unfavorably about her. He may wait long and hard for the right chance to remember.
Excuses: Triumphantly “Do you remember...”

Libra is a mercantile bastard.

Windy and changeable. Great virtuosos get out of sticky situations. A real politician, pursuing his own interests, will promise, lie, or slander if necessary.
Excuses: none. Nacoyotil and disappeared.

Scorpio is a first-class bastard.

Those who like to create a veil of mystery around themselves such that they themselves become entangled in it, plus an unquenchable thirst for the ideal clouds their mind, forcing them to position themselves as an instrument of justice and retribution. If, from their point of view, you have violated some rules, you must be punished.
Excuses: none.

Sagittarius is a cantankerous bastard.

A very complex creature, eager to prove himself in the field of social activity and, quite successfully, in this matter. Tram squabbles, market squabbles, all kinds of quarrels and conflicts in which you can relieve your soul - this is his element.
Excuses: raised tone, meaningless text, obscene language.

Capricorn is a clueless bastard.

Just as an ostrich hides its head in the sand, believing that there is no danger, so a capricorn, with its horns resting “in anywhere”, does not want to see, feel and make decisions. Moreover, he firmly believes that if he persists in this way, the problem will resolve itself, and even according to his scenario, and when he sees the ashes around him, he will be stupidly surprised: “How did this happen?”
Excuses: “It happened that way.”

Sometimes you have to step away from serious reality and accept all life circumstances with a huge amount of humor. There are categories of people who are not offended. Please do not take such frivolous things seriously. begins his humorous march.

Astrologer's advice: The different level and quality of a person’s education greatly affects the way in which various qualities are manifested. The upbringing of people also makes its mark on the characteristics of various properties of behavior.

Aries. A ram is also a ram in Africa. He is confident that he is right, he always knows what it costs, and arguing with him is at your own loss. Rams (in the sense of Aries) are very honest herd animals. If someone looks bad, he will say so directly. In real life he is of little use, but he gives advice to everyone. Free, at that.

Astrologer's advice: It happens that a rare opportunity to completely improve your personal life in a good way is given only once in your life. Don't miss it - order it and find out how soon luck will be in your hands!

Taurus. Typical cuckold. The other half of him tries very hard for him to maintain his brand. He has a lot of stubbornness, he is boring and greedy, but serious because he thinks for a long time. His health is excellent. He doesn’t like new people, and can’t stand old ones, but he loves his friends, and not only artiodactyls.

Twins. Twin brothers just have different fathers. This is about them. The left hemisphere of the brain of this sign always contradicts the right. Light, ephemeral and airy, they cannot finally decide on the choice of their soulmate: everything is not theirs, and everything is not right. But they are fun and interesting.

Astrologer's advice: Please note that for a detailed description, it is necessary to correct the information taking into account the date, time and place of birth. Refined data will help you better understand yourself or understand other people.

Cancer. The second syllable of the word "fool". Although, however, this is not about him. Disgusting and cowardly, suspicious and annoying. A drunkard and a philosopher - that's all about him. He makes friends with Taurus and Virgo and talks with them about the end of the world. And they tolerate him out of pity.

Lion. Maybe I'll get a kick out of this comic horoscope according to zodiac signs. Kill - it won’t kill, but there will be a lot of roar. He is so selfish that he believed in the inviolability of his royal person. The weapon against him is sweet flattery. The atomic bomb is powerless here.

Astrologer's advice: We invite you to look at horoscopes for the month and year for all zodiac signs. The forecast will help you make the right decisions on any issues. Interesting and useful. Go to .

Virgo. She is very fond of law and order and woe to anyone who breaks them. He'll knock right away. But she is useful in housekeeping: she can wash and clean. So, you can live with her, but not for long - she will plague you with her pedantry and neatness.

Scales. These are great aesthetes who, putting clean socks and freshly brewed coffee on one cup, will choose the second option. They often get sick and if anyone wants to work as a vest or a nurse, then you are welcome!

Astrologer's advice: In order to comprehend and better understand the character and qualities of a zodiac sign, you need to get to know it from many sides and the category will help you with this.

Scorpion. Sexually preoccupied, hysterical egoist. He loves money even more than himself, but he doesn’t steal it, he earns it. Loves to do minor mischief and cause serious problems. Similar to Ram, only waterfowl.

Sagittarius. He is always right, this is an axiom. And if he is wrong, then this is a theorem. A sociable and cheerful centaur, shooting at hearts left and right. Whoever is not his friend yet, let him get in line.

Astrologer's advice: The eastern horoscope also has a strong impact on the resource inherent in people at birth. You can read more on our resource in the category.

Capricorn. He works a lot, and not with his horns and hooves, but with his head and hands. Woe to those who perceive Capricorn as the darling and soul of the company. He loves to butt heads, don't get into trouble.
Aquarius. I can’t give anything good advice to myself, but to others, please! Prison is his second home, because his relationship with the law does not work out. He is afraid of only one thing - old age.

Astrologer's advice: Relationships between loved ones often depend on the constellation of birth. Compatibility of signs is an educational section in astrology. You can find out about the relationship in the section -.

Fish. Complete comic horoscope according to zodiac signs. What can you do, this is their fate - to drag along behind everyone all their lives. Where should they go? They are not interested in money, but in the aquarium they will be fed anyway. For free.