Hello, Friends!

Sergey Borodin and the “Your Way” project are with you. We continue to get acquainted with the thoughts, ideas and habits of interesting and successful people!

Today our guest is Nina Rubshtein. Nina is very active, creative person, which embodied many talents. Entrepreneur, writer, psychologist, coach, screenwriter, artist. And this is not a complete list :) This is really true: “ Talented man, - talented in everything!”

Nina talked about her life and habits. And, of course, we got a lot of useful answers and recommendations!

Let's meet!

Tell us a little about yourself. How old are you. What are you doing? What achievements do you have? What projects are you involved in? What are your hobbies? Your favorite phrase or motto.

Hello!

My name is Nina. I am 42 years old, of which I have been involved in dance sports for 20 years as an athlete and coach, and for 14 years I have been professionally engaged in self-development practices (Gestalt therapist, coach, supervisor). Art and psychology are closely connected for me.

By basic higher education I am a choreographer (director of a choreographic performance), in childhood and adolescence I studied vocals and played the instrument. musical instruments(piano and guitar), then a Gestalt therapist and trainer at the Moscow Institute of Gestalt and Psychodrama, and after that I studied to be a screenwriter, and as a hobby I make films and paint pictures.

During my life, I have written more than 20 books on psychology, made 2 educational films for dancers, and was the author-psychologist of TV programs on Stream TV (TV channels “Psychology 21” and “Male”).

IN present moment I am the creator and member of two teams - a psychological center (Nina Rubshtein Gestalt Center) and a production center ( Creative association“Faculty”), and also conduct online lectures and courses (webinars) and Psychological tours in Crimea in a special hotel and training center “House of Dreams”.

1. THE WAY TO YOURSELF

What do self-development and self-knowledge mean to you?

Daily gymnastics and lifestyle.

What motivates and inspires you?

Curiosity to know the superpowers of a person, which are revealed through self-development.

What is your daily routine? What do you make sure you do every day?

I don't have a specific daily routine. I do what I want. I spend most of my time at the computer, at work, and in order for work not to eat me up, I moved to live in Sevastopol, so I work at a resort.

What health practices and techniques do you use in your life?

I've tried a lot of things and listing them will take a lot of time. It’s easier to say that I use any practice that I just wanted to do right now for my self-observation and self-regulation.

Do you do any physical training?

No, I don't. I like to walk and swim, but this is not every day, but as necessary. From time to time I can spontaneously dance.

Do you use psychophysical practices in your life (for example, yoga, qigong, meditation, prayer, etc.). What does this give you?

Meditation and prayer are an opportunity to go as deep as possible into the depths of your being and from there look at the problems of today with a different look, discarding the petty and random.

What do you do to develop intelligence and memory?

Self-observation, practice of developing awareness, communication with like-minded people, exchange of ideas and discoveries.

2. PATH TO SUCCESS

What, in your opinion, are the main secrets of success and a successful personality?

In perseverance. In the Intention to follow your own path, so that this is not interfered with.

What do you use to boost personal effectiveness and productivity?

Is time management present in your life?

Previously, I planned for several months and even years in advance, and strictly followed the plan. This skill is necessary in order to learn to focus on the main thing.

When you have already trained it, it becomes unnecessary and a new need arises - without planning, learn to spontaneously isolate the main thing right here and now.

Do you have any perceived weaknesses or destructive habits that you struggle with? How do you do it?

I smoked for 9 years. I quit, adjusting my emotional states. Now my worst habit is passion for work.

I make up a lot interesting ideas and often they take over me, I have to slow down, distract myself from work, so as not to be exhausted, not to be absorbed in mental activity.

What do you need to do to achieve your goals? Your “signature recipe”.

Intention.

How do you feel about money? What advice can you give on managing personal finances?

I'm fine. I believe that you must have a compelling reason to God “why you need money.”

If the reason is God-pleasing, you will receive them. Well, of course, they won’t fall from the sky, you’ll have to work for the good of society :-)

How often do you study?

I finished 4 educational institutions except for school (college, university, institute and vocational school) in various specialties, and after that I continue to study on my own.

For example, now I'm studying marketing. For the last three years I have been studying individually with mentors.

3. SOCIETY

What personality traits do you like and what do you dislike in people?

Depends on the context of use of some traits. If they are acontextual, of course there is no point in them.

Lord God, if he were a person.

What is family to you? What does she give you?

A family is, first of all, a team of like-minded people.

If a family does not have common values, it falls apart.

What do you think are the main secrets? harmonious relations between a man and a woman?

Recognizing and respecting differences and learning to build complementary opportunities out of those differences.

Children are not your children, but children of the Universe. Treat them as an opportunity to participate in the creativity of nature, remembering that they do not belong to you.

Do you have teachers?

It will be long list, from whom I studied. I was very lucky with my teachers; I never found myself with incompetent and unprofessional teachers. This, I believe, was decisive on the path of my success.

Tell us a little about your lifestyle (lifestyle)? How does this help you in life?

For me, the main thing is my relationship with my loved one, loved ones and friends and my work. All this is closely interconnected.

My life consists of ideas and their implementation in a circle of like-minded people. And my whole life is organized around this.

My level of comfort is exactly enough to provide a lifestyle in which the birth of ideas and their implementation is possible - life by the Black Sea, traveling around the planet in winter time year.

I don't drive a car because I don't like to control external situations. I have an adult daughter who lives her own creative life, and we have something to talk about from time to time, I consider her my best achievement and our relationship is ideal.

I don’t like shopping or company with alcohol, I prefer to communicate with people in small groups and not for a long time, I like loneliness.

Do you travel often? What does travel mean to you?

I have only been traveling for the last five years; before that I only had business trips around the country. Over the years I have traveled to quite a few countries.

For me, traveling is an opportunity to experience a different way of life, another culture and history, myths and legends, and to enrich myself with new points of perception of life.

Do you have the most conscious main goal or mission in life?

I believe that I am a teacher for adults, this is what I am good at doing - teaching anything.

I am also good at creating teams and starting any ideas.

I do not believe that a person should have one goal and that he can know his mission. I believe that this can only be known at the end of life - what it was.

5. YOUR OWN BUSINESS

Do you have your own business? If yes, tell us a little about it? How did your entrepreneurial journey begin?

If we call business something that generates income beyond the money and effort expended, then I only got it two years ago – information business, conducting webinars and online courses. Before this, my job did not bring me any income, but mostly only paid my expenses.

I have been working for myself almost all my life (since the age of 22), I have created three enterprises, two of which were closed (a dance and sports club in my homeland in Murmansk and dance club in Moscow, which existed for 6 years).

Now my main enterprise is the Gestalt Center, but this is not a business, but a team of like-minded people, which mostly consists of my students.

I started as a trainer sports dancing, then worked as a teacher of psychology and gestalt therapy, now I teach the online course “Everything you wanted to know about life, but didn’t know where to ask.”

What advice do you have for those who are just about to start entrepreneurship?

Find a good mentor, a marketing and entrepreneurship consultant, and work under his close supervision.

This is exactly what I did when I started researching how I could build my business. My consultants are Mikhail Gorodnichev and Olga Yurkovskaya.

What business tips can you give to readers?

Most beginning entrepreneurs do not imagine their target audience, do not segment it and do not understand what its needs are and how they can be solved. This is the basic question to start with.

What are your tips for marketing and promotion?

The best promotion now is content marketing: you must be an interesting and competent source of information enough for people to trust your products and services.

What are your tips for building a team and managing people?

The main mistake of novice managers is expecting their subordinates to have the same thinking and vision of the business as their own.

If a subordinate could do this, he would be an entrepreneur.

It is important to learn to distinguish between the psychological age of an employee and, hence, the volume of tasks that he is capable of performing.

Tell us about one of your failures or major problems that happened in business?

Several years ago, I took on a client who was too tough for me, made a couple of mistakes with him that would not have led to dire consequences with ordinary clients, but here they led to a public scandal and an analysis of the situation by the ethics commission.

This was a big blow to my professional self-esteem, but this experience forced me to completely reconsider my values, priorities and style of working with people, as well as choose the most appropriate work format for myself and learn to quickly identify those who cannot be my clients.

6. PHILOSOPHY

What do you think happiness is?

Be where you want to be, with those you want with and do what you love!

What do you see as the meaning of human life?

In development, self-evolution and comprehension of the limits of one’s capabilities.

What do you think happens after death? Do you have a fear of death?

I have no idea :-) Of course, I have a purely physiological fear of death, which turns on in situations that are dangerous to life and health.

There is no other fear, simply because I have nothing to regret in life, I realize myself completely, without a trace, and at every moment I can say I have lived a wonderful life.

What do you think it should be perfect life?

An ideal life is my life :-)

What determines a person's destiny? Can a person control his own destiny?

A huge number of factors, to what extent a person controls or does not control his destiny is a question, in my opinion, that has no answer, since those who live “according to their own script” are probably within the framework of their own life script, which is quite likely laid down in his genes :-)

What is Truth? Is there a universal Truth that is always true for all people, or is it individual for everyone?

I have no idea. For me personally, what comes from the heart (whose voice many people confuse with the voice of their ambitions) is true and brings benefit to both oneself and people at the same time.

What is good and evil in your understanding?

A specific interpretation of events based on the needs of a specific person in a specific context.

Your wishes to the readers of the “Your Own Guru” project.

Learn to act by making mistakes. You will learn from them very painfully and very quickly. Don't waste time. The wounds will heal, but wisdom will remain with you!

Thank you, Nina, for your interesting and informative answers! We wish you health, good luck and true Self-realization in your favorite activities and activities!

Editor and project leader:

Organizer and editor:

Editor and content manager:

Participation is free.

The ideal lifestyle is not a myth, but quite achievable. Everyone can live the way they dream and actually live. In fact, each of us lives as we choose. We become aware of this when we compare ourselves to others or do things we don't want to do.

By being able to see the big picture of your life and realizing that this is not exactly how you want to live your life, you become aware of the fact that everything could be different, better. Then we ask ourselves, “What do I want my life to be?” and “What do I want to fill it with?”

These are the very first steps towards change. The same door in new life. It's about It’s not about perfectionism at all. It’s about not doing boring work, not doing things that don’t inspire, and not wasting opportunities and time.

So, to take the best from life, do what really brings joy, become someone you will be proud of, help others and spend more time on those who are truly dear, create new things, give and share... and just be happy and filled in every day, do so.

1. Determine what your ideal lifestyle is.

First, answer two questions: “What do I want my life to be?” and “What do I want to fill it with?” Answer them as fully and honestly as you can, because this will determine what you want from life and who you want to become. After a while this will become your reality.

The important thing to remember is to accept that you have to change yourself in order to change your lifestyle. Many people make the mistake of starting to change the world around us, forgetting that key changes occur first in ourselves. Therefore, remember this and develop the qualities that you need to develop in order to become the person whose lifestyle you want to lead.

2. Remove excess

Without this step you won't get far. Because now your life is simply filled with something that does not allow you to move on. These could be people, negative thoughts, events, habits, and so on. All you need to do is get rid of the extra burden; it has no place at all in your ideal lifestyle.

3. Realize what is good for you

Now that you have gotten rid of unnecessary baggage, take another step in your own development. And this is the time to do as much trial and error as possible. What do you mean? This is that you have to learn to distinguish what suits you, what works for you, and what doesn't.

The best way to find out is to take action by doing maximum quantity attempts and preferably making mistakes. As they say best teacher- experience. If you make mistakes, one day you will probably know whether it’s for you and whether it’s worth moving in the chosen direction at all. Experiment.

Only by trying, you will understand what sport brings you results, what food satisfies your hunger and brings you greatest benefit what time of day is best for productivity; the habits you need to create, how you want to look, speak and relate to others.

You may realize that waking up at 5am is not your habit and it has to do with productivity, although most successful people start their day that way. But the time of your personal activity occurs during lunch or even evening. We are all different, so act on your instincts and do what is good for you.

Try different sleep habits, peak hours for work, behavioral patterns, motivational strategies, and so on, wherever you feel like experimenting. Find yours and follow it.

4. Develop foundational habits.

Foundational habits give rise to a whole series of new ones. good habits. Getting up early gives you the opportunity to eat breakfast, do morning exercises and start the day positively. This usually leads to reading affirmations and writing notes.

For example, going to the gym every day helps me stay in shape. Afterwards, I always take a contrast shower, which allows me to remain active. The sooner you develop positive habits, the better. Once you implement these habits, your life will reach a significantly higher level of quality. Work on the main one first, and the secondary one will be transformed after it.

Here is a list of the main habits with which to start the transformation:

• daily exercise,
• meditation,
• healthy food,
• early rise,
• plan for each next day in the evening.

These habits have been proven to work wonders and it is important to follow them no matter what. Create habits that will stay with you for the rest of your life, no matter if you are on vacation, if you had a good day, and even when everything seems pointless.

5. Find your passion

This is possible if you listen to your inner voice, concentrate on what you like to do and try new things. The point is not just to understand what makes you happy, but also to start following it, learn to be the best at it and make it an integral part of your life. Such a strategy will fill life with meaning, bring a feeling of satisfaction and never let you doubt that you are doing your job.

6. Make it your job

This is where you really have to work. But the difference is that now you will be doing what you really love, so it won’t really be a job.

If you want to become a writer, write as much as you can every day. Try to get better at this while learning how to promote yourself. If you are a fan of training in the gym, improve and reach heights. Pump up your body. Study this niche thoroughly, receive possible certificates and awards. Become a personal trainer and help others achieve their desired results.

This way, you will surround yourself with people who are committed to change and will be able to spend all your time being in the gym. Or maybe even open your own.

Once you start doing what truly makes you happy, working at it, dedicating time, energy, effort and believing in your success - you can turn your passion into your work. And it will be a truly ideal job. Which is what anyone who wants to lead should have perfect image life.

7. Decide how much time you want to spend working

Organize your work so that you work every other week, a few hours a day, or 4 days a week. But this, of course, will be after you've done a really good job of building your business (it won't take less than a year) and built the work system in the necessary way.

8. Travel more often

Traveling is one of the best things in life. And it is important to do this at least once or twice a week. Or better yet, every two to three months. Most people travel to escape from problems or to escape reality. But as you build a new, ideal lifestyle, you don't need to hide from reality.

Travel to explore the unknown, the unusual and not miss the beauty that the world has to offer us. This way you can discover new sides of yourself, learn more about other cultures and enjoy the beauty of the world. This way your life will never be boring.

9. Start a hobby

Figure out what else you love to do and dedicate time to it.

10. Keep your nose to the wind

Don't miss a single opportunity to learn and try something new. It doesn't matter who you are at the moment and what your income is, there is always something to learn around. Don't neglect your spiritual world. Meditate, read books, find inspiration in everything.

11. Be open to new things

Try to do something new, unusual, and something you're afraid of several times a month. This could be a conversation with a stranger, a parachute jump, scuba diving, speaking in front of a large audience, dancing, visiting new countries, mastering new sports. All this will fill life unique experience and will make it even more exciting.

12. Give and be grateful

Sharing is the best investment possible and provides much more than buying new things. Learn to give to others as much as you can, be it advice, help, inspiration, money or things you don't need. Do volunteering and charity work. And also remember to be truly grateful. Every step in a lifelong journey should be filled with acceptance and gratitude.

Everything you have, even if it is not much, is beautiful in itself and should make you feel deeply grateful. Try to feel this feeling towards all people, events and things that come your way. life path.

It may take some time to create your ideal lifestyle, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. In fact, anyone can do this. Enough burning faith, desire and perseverance. In the end, you will realize that all that effort was worth it. And enjoying every moment of life is the main commandment of one who already lives in his own, ideal way.

Now that you have a list ready, yours has been found, it’s time to put everything together and create an image of your ideal life.

It will become extremely clear to you where you are going, why you are going and how you can achieve it. Ideal image of life– this is the best option for how you want to live. If asked, describe your life as you would like to live in 10-15 years. There is only one condition. You will no longer have anything better or more than what you describe. That is, if you say that you will have two children, it means that you will no longer have three; you say that you will earn $1,000,000 per year, there will no longer be two million and so in all respects.

Create image of an ideal life It won’t be difficult for you if you have completed the exercises on and well.

Do you know there are such children's puzzles called puzzles? This is a picture broken into many small pieces, and the task is to create this picture from these pieces. It's the same with us. You have yours, you know what you want individually, and now you need to put it all together. You just need to imagine that all your dreams and desires exist and are already near you.

What is the power of the ideal life image?

You gain a clear understanding of where you are going in life. Having an image of your ideal life, you can easily make decisions. For example, you are currently working at work. Can your job provide you with such a life? No? I hate to tell you the truth to your face, but if you really want to live an ideal life, you will have to quit your job and do something else.

You will be offered new job. Look at how people who have worked in this job for 20 years live, and evaluate whether they live a life similar to your ideal life. If not, then you have nothing to do at this job.

I'm sure you get the idea - you are simply assessing whether a certain road can take you to your destination.

I understand that it is difficult for you to realize that the world in which you have lived until now is collapsing. Your beliefs and habitual stereotypes collapse after this realization. But understand, before you create something grandiose, you need to destroy the old to make room for this grandiose.

Secondly, the power of the image of an ideal life will be absorbed into your life, and you will unconsciously reach it. You will receive offers that will help you get closer to yours, people will begin to enter your life who will help you.

I will tell you what will happen to you if you think about image of your ideal life, but continue to do what does not bring you closer to this life. Perhaps this is already happening to you.

IN human brain There is such a regulatory mechanism as the reticular system. The task of this system is to filter out all information that is not important to us and capture the important information. All information that does not bring you closer to your goal is considered unimportant. You know that our subconscious perceives everything, but only a small fraction of this information reaches ours. So, what reaches consciousness is determined by this reticular system.

And watch what happens: since your work is not moving you towards your goal, your reticular system will try to filter it out. Simply put, your brain will simply "throw away" You from work. You will have a great desire to do nothing at work and will need to force yourself very hard to take it up. If you continue to work, you will begin to experience stress, and the longer you work, the worse this stress will become. You will be left with three options for getting out of this situation: either you give up your dreams and ideal life, or you quit your job and look for something that will help you realize your plans.

The option of giving up your dreams is the worst. It is a direct path to disaster. You will know that you have given up your ideal life, and this feeling will kill you.

And the third option - you continue to think about an ideal life, work at your job, and then goes into. In general, to tell the truth, stress is very good remedy For . It occurs when there are sudden changes in our beliefs and what you believe. If you control your stress, you can very quickly. As sad as it may be, most people for some reason immediately reject the option of leaving work and, in every possible and impossible way, refuse to change the situation that has developed now. They prefer to stop dreaming or simply build fantasies (read the article) without taking any action in reality.

The ideal is always high and beautiful, because it is highest degree some value or benefit. It’s good when you have an ideal image of yourself, your family, work, life in general in your mind; it’s even better when the ideal is turned into target and the person begins to actively act to achieve it. But first you need to understand how to create your ideal lifestyle.

Lifestyle- a form of human life, a way of embodying the objective conditions of existence in a person’s personal life. Simply put, lifestyle- this is the totality of work, life, social, cultural activities, habits and behavior patterns of the individual.

Ideal Lifestyle is human visualization the best option personal life, when he feels completely happy.

Both the actual and ideal way of life depends on the individual typological characteristics of the individual. If a person does not choose the conditions in which he will be born, then his entire subsequent life is nothing more than a series of choices and decisions, which means everyone is responsible and a personal matter.

What kind of life do people usually dream of? The one that is advertised as the best or the one that you planned yourself?

Ideal life most often associated with the lives of the rich and famous. But how is the stereotypical idea that an ideal life is wealth formed?

On the TV screen, a child sees rich people living a luxurious and idle life, and his parents tell him: “It’s good to teach, otherwise they won’t get a job anywhere, and in best case scenario You will be a janitor! The kid believes in what he sees and hears, he does not yet have experience proving that having a diploma with honors does not guarantee him a well-paid job (does not guarantee a job at all), and wealth does not mean personal happiness, success in life and psychological well-being. A person wants to be rich, simply because everyone and everyone wants it and because he knows that he must be rich in order to live well.

Dream of happy life is born in childhood, but what is happiness for him personally Often even an adult does not know and does not even try to understand. But individuals who have no idea about personal happiness, unfortunately, are easier to manipulate and control for selfish purposes by those people who know exactly what they want.

The problem is that most people know what they are don't want, but don’t know what to do need to for happiness, therefore they use it as a model of an ideal life stranger lifestyle. Without knowing your desires and ideals, it is impossible to determine the lifestyle to which you should strive as a goal.

Perhaps, "strangers" ideals could be divided into several groups:

• global (for example, world peace, equality, freedom),
• traditional (high salary, friendly family, good health),
• fashionable (vacation on exotic islands, luxury car, body measurements “90-60-90”).

One can argue for a long time about the truth, value and harmlessness of these ideals and what they lead to, but something completely different is important - these ideals are united by one reason - they imposed from outside, which means that their achievement will not bring personal happiness to a person.

If, when achieving a goal, you feel not happiness, but disappointment, it means that the goal was not personal, but someone else’s. This happens when a girl gets married, because “all her friends are married, but I’m not,” or a young specialist gets a prestigious job that his parents found for him.

Ideal life there can only be the life that an individual for myself defined as such, based on desires, needs, dreams, and which he achieved through his own efforts.

Algorithm of actions to bring the ideal into reality

Man is the creator of his own destiny, but without the right tools, you can do a lot of things to your detriment.

Any change in life begins with internal personality changes. To live the way you want, you will first need to make “portrait” of an ideal lifestyle, and then act in the outside world.

"Portrait" of an ideal lifestyle is recorded and/or sketched on a piece of paper. Creating such a “picture” is a little more difficult than it might seem at first glance, but the result is:

• you will be able to figure it out and get to know your “I” better,
• structure the acquired knowledge,
• the dream will take the form of a clear, real, achievable goal,
• the likelihood of turning your ideal image into reality will increase.

1. Get rid of the "stones". Fears, complexes, negative thoughts, attitudes, memories, habits and certain people - all these are “stones” that drag you down to the bottom of life and prevent you from moving towards your goal.

Attachments, habits and fear of change usually “hold” and do not allow one to let go of a negative, interfering, harmful, useless and even life-threatening phenomenon, event or person.

It is easier to say goodbye to something, but to say goodbye to something (and more often to someone) is very difficult and painful, but if you have made a firm decision to change your life for the better, you will have to act decisively. For example, leaving an unloved job or breaking up with an abusive husband.

1. Answer the questions sincerely and write down the answers.:

• What do I want my life to be like in general?
• What should my home, partner, family, job, etc. be like?
• What and who do I want to fill my life with?
• What should I be like?

When answering these questions in writing, it is useful to ask each time a clarifying test question: “Is it really this Want I, and not someone else? An indicator of sincerity is also the emotions that arise in the process of visualizing the answer to a question.

For example, if a young man dreams of working as a firefighter, but, imagining himself in this job, experiences negative feelings (anxiety, discomfort, doubts), most likely he has chosen the wrong profession. If positive feelings arise (joy, delight, inspiration, a feeling of “goosebumps”), he is on the right track.

1. . When all the answers to the questions are written down, among them you will find several recurring, basic desires. These desires concern different areas of life, but collectively this is the image of an ideal life.

A very popular technique today Wish card” is also a way to structure and record on paper the desired lifestyle. You need to cut out pictures from magazines and newspapers (or draw them) that embody ideal images of appearance, personal life, work, finances, family, marriage, travel, etc. and glue them onto whatman paper.

1. Start moving towards your goal. From drawing up a model of an ideal lifestyle in your mind and writing it down on paper, it is important to move on to the implementation of your plans. Each designated goal, which, in essence, constituted a future ideal life, requires separate consideration and the drawing up of a plan for its implementation.

On the path to an ideal lifestyle, it is important not to lose motivation, try, search, try, persist, accept mistakes as life lessons. You need to stock up on patience, endurance, willpower and self-confidence.

Systematic help not to give up on the path to the desired lifestyle visualization pictures of an ideal life.

Despite the fact that for each person the ideal way of life is different and special, there are general rules and guidelines that can significantly improve the quality of life.

Everyone has their own idea of ​​health, but everyone wants to be healthy, the same can be said about beauty, relationships, intelligence, wealth and other values.

Make life at least a little more comfortable, and at most harmonious and happy help:

• healthy lifestyle, no bad habits,
• correct daily routine
• effective and convenient work and rest schedule,
• doing what you love, when work is a calling and at the same time something you enjoy,
• communication and interaction with interesting, close, positive people,
• the ability to manage money and not exaggerate its importance,
• healthy habits (getting up early, playing sports, meditation, etc.),
• useful and developing hobbies, hobbies,
• reading, learning something new,
• trips,
• altruism, selfless help to people,
• friendship and love.

While striving for the ideal, one must remember to be grateful for the life that exists. Appreciating and loving what you have is the best “starting point” for achieving ever new heights in life.