How a woman can love herself - advice from a psychologist on how to love herself. It's important to love other people: don't try to change them. Why women don't love themselves

23.09.2019

Loving yourself is very important, but not every woman comes to this art as easily as she would like. Where do many problems come from? In fact, from the depths of your own consciousness - there is a source there. We ourselves set taboos, clichés, evaluate ourselves low, find fault, come up with possible best options past events, we think a lot about the bad, we consider ourselves unworthy of something. How to cope with the problem and learn to love yourself first?

External data – looking for advantages

There are no ugly women! Even if you were told otherwise, remember that bad things are remembered better. There are many jokes on this topic. For example, this: “He can tell her a hundred times that she is beautiful, but she will only remember that he hinted at her fatness.” That's the whole point. Many people do not know how to focus on the good, but only remember the bad.

How to work on yourself:

· Remember the compliments you have received. If you don’t communicate much with people, upload your favorite one to some group social network beautiful photo. They will write something good to you!

· Encourage yourself. In every little thing you need to praise yourself, your beloved. Do it mentally or out loud – it doesn’t matter, depending on the circumstances.

· Don't be lazy. Beautiful hair, a clean body, a neat manicure - this gives you self-confidence. You will fall in love with the very beauty that you see every day in the mirror.

Opinions of others

Have you ever thought how hard life is when you try to take into account the opinions of others? Remind yourself every time: “I live for myself!” The main thing is not to disturb or harm anyone, and everything else is just stereotypes. Love your life and everyone who is important in it. There will always be those who want to criticize you, even if you become Miss World.

Take criticism more easily, remember praise, praise other people. Criticism should be taken as an outside opinion. You can take a closer look at it and draw conclusions, but you don’t need to take its essence as a template.

When you learn to listen first to your inner voice, you will become happier. And before you know it, you will love yourself.

Think positive, dream

Have you ever thought about the composition of your thoughts? Most of us are accustomed to immersing ourselves in problems, feeling sorry for ourselves, and twisting the same thing dozens of times in our thoughts. unfortunate situation. And this is a big mistake!

Everyone has failures. You need to draw conclusions, but not get hung up. Life goes on! You are beautiful, full of strength, beauty and... that same self-love.

Think more about the good, try to catch yourself in the negative and drive it away. Dream more, make plans, goals. Learn to have fun, even if you feel lonely today.

Remember - you are beautiful, even despite your flaws! All that remains is to highlight this beauty. And when you love yourself, others will also change their attitude towards you.

Very often you can hear the phrase: “Nobody loves me, everyone treats me badly.” But do you love yourself? Just answer this question honestly. Do you often criticize yourself? Do you like your reflection in the mirror? Do you approve of yourself in all your actions? Now think about your answers.

Instructions

Start pampering yourself. Make yourself new hairstyle. Go to a beauty salon. Or set up a beauty salon at home. Give yourself a manicure. Take a bubble bath or rose petals. Light the candles, pour some wine or champagne. And just relax. This is the first step on the path to yourself.
Maybe you have long wanted to learn step dance. So make your dream come true. Sign up for dance lessons and get going

Watch your appearance. If you have a habit of going to the store in stretched sweatpants, get rid of it immediately. Of course, some have a different opinion, saying: “Who will I dress for?” And you start dressing for yourself. Stop and start choosing your clothes more carefully (for work, cultural events and holidays). TO appearance This includes a reluctance to wear makeup. This is not what you need for evening makeup before going to the store. A protective face cream, a little mascara and clear gloss will be enough. Soon you will enjoy the attention that you will receive everywhere and always.

Give yourself gifts. Stop saving on your loved one. Buy yourself some unnecessary thing that you... Even if it’s just lying around, buy it if you really want it.

Praise yourself more often. Something worked out, say to yourself: “Well done”! And if something didn’t work out, it’s okay. It will work out next time. The main thing is not to criticize yourself. There will be people who will do this for you. Don't try to be perfect ideal people No. Just do what you want (within the law, of course) and what you like.

Remember positive affirmations. Stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself: “I am myself. I am the best, the most beautiful. Everything always works out for me.” Or come up with an affirmation yourself and repeat it every day. Even if you don’t believe in the power of words, at least try it. And see how positive affirmations will change your life.
Start doing all of these right now. Your life will begin to change for the better only when you want it. It all depends on your thoughts. Love yourself now and the world will respond in kind.

Video on the topic

The topic of self-love has arisen relatively recently. Many psychologists and supporters positive thinking insist that the previous system on which we were all brought up excluded the very phenomenon of self-love. From childhood, people were taught that a person’s first place should be work, study, family and many other things. No one had any time or energy left for self-love.

Instructions

Many people confuse selfishness with the concept of selfishness. Of course, in order to pay attention to yourself, you need a little ego, otherwise a person will live for others. Loving yourself - maintaining your body in healthy condition, keep your own thoughts pure, pamper yourself with small gifts, and at the same time feel like a human being. Of course, everyone associates the very fact of self-love in their own way. The most important thing is for a person to be sure that he is not infringing on himself in any way and lives in harmony with himself.

A person who loves himself will never harm his own body and health. He will adhere to a healthy lifestyle and eat rationally. If you want

All that is required to have love is to be love.
Love does not require conditions.
This experience is absolute and perfect.

Let us examine in detail the question of how to develop self-love.

What is this concept often confused with?

This concept has nothing to do with narcissism!

True self love is a natural and humble sense of self that you accept within yourself.

There is no tension or effort involved.

Having this feeling you:

you are in harmony with yourself;
you walk around the world with ease;
you feel confident in any situation;
respect everything you do and what you say.

It's such a down to earth and natural feeling.

Let's figure out where to start to love yourself completely and completely. Let's look at all 19 methods.

1. Realize that no one and nothing external will complete you, you are already self-sufficient

2. Accept yourself completely

Accept yourself as you are

Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.

Love all the mistakes you made in the past.
This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves and despise themselves for things that were done in the past.
At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you. Realize that you did those actions in the past that led to mistakes because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you.
Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
Your mistakes are the reason you are where you are today..
They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself.

When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with an ease and peace previously unknown to you.

Accept all your shortcomings and love yourself with them: it is what it is

Mantra for all occasions: “It is what it is. And that's okay."

Example. Yesterday I screwed up in front of people, I couldn’t give a talk and I didn’t prepare.

It is what it is, and that's okay.

Use this phrase as practical advice about how to love yourself and stop self-flagellation.

Where there's a fine line which many people forget:

This does not mean that you have now come to terms with the fact that you are a dull and boring creature and now you always lie on the couch and do nothing! No.
You still strive to be the best version of yourself.
You just don't judge yourself for your shortcomings.

3. You don’t need a reason to love yourself.

You are self-sufficient and should love yourself without reason.

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, then love will not be complete and complete, and doubts and reasons to the contrary immediately appear in your head. You don't need a reason.

As soon as you start to think: “I love myself because...”, reasons immediately appear not to love yourself!

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, you find reasons to doubt!

You love yourself, period. For no reason.

You are already self-sufficient and there is no reason otherwise.

Thanks to this awareness, you will know everything about how to love yourself and increase self-esteem as a woman or man.

4. Stop putting people on pedestals and realize that everyone is equal.

There are no those who are better or worse than you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and damaging your self-esteem.

Otherwise, you will find yourself in an endless race with yourself and will never solve your questions about how to love yourself and be a confident person.

Get out of the influence of social programming. Be aware of this...

Make a choice and allow yourself to be equal to everyone and experience inner lightness.

5. Never compare yourself to others

Comparing yourself with others always causes a feeling of lack of self-sufficiency and self-judgment.

Never chase after others or strive to be something you are not!

Example. You look at your neighbor, how he lives successfully and how his business is thriving, compare with your state of affairs, and you upset yourself and become overwhelmed because of this comparison.

Comparing yourself to others interferes with self-acceptance.

You can't be what you're not. You won't be able to live someone else's life. No matter how hard you try, you will end up being a cheaper, duller version of the person you are chasing!

The best thing you can do is be yourself.

Don't try to be something you're not. Don't try to be like everyone else.

Be yourself and go beyond your limits, expand your comfort zone.

It often happens that unconscious girls compare themselves with each other. And as a result, then they are always competing with someone. It's like an endless wheel of suffering and pursuit.

With this type of thinking, women's questions about how to love themselves and increase self-esteem in the psychology of perception will forever remain open.

Who can you compare yourself with?

The only person you should compare yourself to is it's you yourself!

For example, what were you like yesterday and what are you like today.

A fine line. Try to compare yourself with yourself NOT regarding the results achieved, but regarding the new knowledge and awareness gained.

Ask yourself these questions daily:

In what ways have I become wiser than yesterday and what new things have I learned?
What lessons have I learned from today?
Have I stepped out of my comfort zone today?

Only such a comparison with oneself takes place.

If the answer is no, then you remind yourself what you need to work on and where to strive.

6. Respect your body and your mind

Let's consider the psychologist's sixth advice on how to love yourself.

Respecting your body and mind means that you love yourself as spiritual person capable of thinking and being aware, and you love your healthy body and keep an eye on him.

Respecting your body means leading a healthy lifestyle

How to respect your body:

Do not drink alcohol, cigarettes or other harmful substances. You must love your body, and love for it is expressed by the fact that you do not stuff it with harmful smelling, alcoholic, inhaling things and do not undermine its health.
Develop your body, go to the gym. Feel the pain of muscle growth when you realize that your muscles are using their full potential and you are using them correctly. This is wonderful.
These feelings of developing body muscles and eating the right foods give you will have greater confidence and lightness in your body. Appreciate your body for it.

People become drunkards and live their lives this way because they hate themselves and know nothing about how to learn to love and value themselves.

Respect your mind and consciousness, do not feed it with false information

What does this mean and how should it be implemented:

You don't need to watch junk on TV.
You need to think positively, have clear and precise thoughts. Have pure thoughts. And then you will close your questions about...
You remove all negative thoughts that only hinder your progress.
You need to develop your mind, explore new concepts, ideas, topics, look for better solutions.
Let your mind rest.
Meditate. You can read more about .
Show him that you respect him.

The introduction of these principles will be one of the main trump cards that closes the question of how to start loving yourself.

7. Get rid of the negative, grumpy granny who judges other people and yourself.

Why you need to stop judging others and yourself

This will also be the main advice from a psychologist on how a woman over 50 or an older man can love himself.

But, alas, even among younger generation this bad habit occurs.

An example of how judging others limits you

For example, a man sings songs on the street with an accordion.
And you and your friend walk by and start throwing mud at him: “Here Chaliapin has been found, he has no voice, there’s nothing to do, he’s off to the circus,” etc.
The time comes when you have to perform in front of people on the street and sing a song. But you begin to shake, you are tense and your confidence is lost somewhere.
It is this grumpy grandmother, judging others, who limits your actions.
Never judge anyone. Both yourself and others.

The only thing you can blame yourself for is:

Have I done my best?
Have I done everything I could to improve?

8. If you don’t like something, don’t endure it, act

You can verbally tell the person that you don’t like it, or show with facial expressions and gestures that you don’t approve of it.

From childhood, your mother taught you to endure difficult situations and let them be.

It was the same at school. No need to endure!

These are not necessarily words, they can also be actions that stop what you don’t like.

Example: A man smokes in a car. And you cannot tolerate cigarette smoke and have never smoked. You immediately look for solutions to an unpleasant situation for you and say it out loud.

I suggest the person get out of the car and smoke on the sidelines.
I'm saying that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I'm allergic.
I'm saying that we won't be able to communicate with him until he stops smoking.

Implement this psychological technique and it will become easier to love yourself.

The more you decide unpleasant situations for you, the more love and respect for yourself will appear.

9. Have personal boundaries: what you accept in people and what you don’t

Why is it important to have personal boundaries?:

Example.

I don't like it when people sit on my neck.
I don't like gossips, liars and hypocrites.
And so on.

Also write your preferences what you value and respect in people.

This way you will know what you want. You will know clear answers to questions from psychology about how to love and respect yourself.

10. When you achieve your goals, reward yourself in every possible way: for example, buy yourself sweets

If you have set a goal for yourself and realized it, please yourself with pleasant things.

How does this help you in the future:

Thus, you unconsciously reinforce in your head that achieving goals is doubly pleasant and tastier.
More energy appears to achieve the goal.
Buying something for yourself, rewarding yourself for the result, emphasizes it, evokes natural self-love for the efforts and efforts made.

For example, I like to buy myself sweets: chocolates, cake. Whoever likes it. It's always nice.

Implement this and you will no longer need advice from a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself.

11. Don’t whine and don’t let whiners cry into your vest.

You are not a sponge or a vest in which you can cry! Make this clear to everyone around you.

When you yourself whine around people about life and about people, you are simply showing them that they can do the same to you too.

Whining does not solve problems in any way!

You don’t want to love a whiner, you want to love a strong personality!

How to stop whiners:

If the person next to you whines and complains about life, at people, pours out his soul to you and cries, ask him: “How will you solve your problem?”
If he continues to whine, it means he is not going to solve anything.. This means that a person just wants to feel needed by you, to pour out his soul to you, to feel your empathy.
Ask yourself: “Why do you need such people?”. Without a doubt, get rid of the whiners, and you will already feel how you began to love yourself more for it.
Remove whiners from your social circle, and there will be a strong and healthy ecosystem of emotions around you and only strong personalities near. No whiner will drag you down.

12. You create all situations yourself: take responsibility for yourself and your actions

How to learn this with a piece of paper and a pen

Apply this effective way from psychology on the topic of learning to love yourself in practice.

An example of a situation where a person got into a fight with a guy on the street

How the person brought the situation to this:

I myself behaved too aggressively and emotionally.
I myself called names and provoked the man.
I could have just left at any time.
I was looking for my own adventures.
I pushed the guy first.
I myself attracted the negativity that had been accumulating for a long time.

13. Know your strengths and unique values, write them down and remember them

Know exactly what value you have, what attractive characteristics and qualities you have.

If you don't know this, you won't be able to develop self-love and it will be harder to communicate with people.

For example, it's great if when communicating with people you, without even straining, bring things like:

Whoever you are you already have value if only because you are unique.

Write down your unique qualities and remember them. This will help cope with restless thoughts about how a woman or man can learn to love himself.

Answer the following questions in writing:

What makes your personality attractive?
What are your hobbies, interests, interests?
What sensations do you give to people who are in your environment without trying or making an effort?
How deeply can you express your interesting personality when communicating with other people?
How independent are you and how free are you inside?

Values different people different. As your personality develops, your values may change.

Video on how to increase objective self-esteem

14. Trust yourself and your intentions more, act according to your desires

Say what you want.
If what you do comes from good intentions, trust them, do them and implement them!
Whatever your desires and intentions, act according to them.

Don't be afraid to appear to be what others don't want you to be! Because this is your life and you live for yourself, and not for others!

The more you trust yourself and act on your desires, the more you will live the life you want.

Examples of how people limit themselves in life because of other people’s opinions:

Some people don't want to fully express themselves and their personality because they are afraid of offending other people.
Some people don't want to dance because they're afraid of getting looks of disapproval or bringing smiles to others' faces.

You can write an article about how to ignore other people’s opinions and get rid of shyness.

15. Be more interested in yourself, do introspection, strive to be your best self.

How to learn to love yourself and be a confident person

Stick to these principles, and you will no longer worry about learning to love life and yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

What are your passions in this life?
What excites and delights you?
What kind of humor do you like?
What kind of music do you like?

16. Set yourself a big goal that will excite you and keep you from falling asleep, and implement it

Set yourself a goal that will excite you and keep you from falling asleep!
Live this dream and make it a reality every day.
The more you set goals for yourself, the more energy you have in your body. to implement it and make it a reality.
If the goal is low and petty, then there will be so much energy.
Thus, you will live on the path to a big goal interesting life , you will have self-respect and a feeling that you are growing and not standing still.

Remember the importance of the goal and you will close your questions about how to learn to love yourself and become an interesting person.

17. It’s important to love other people: don’t try to change them.

It is important to love and accept people as they are.

Be aware of these principles, re-read them sometimes and don’t worry about how to love yourself and other people too.

18. You don't need to be a super perfect person.

Our society, mass media and television instill perfectionism and the desire to be super ideal and correct.

Supposedly you must have an ideal body and education.

In reality, no one wants to be perfect and correct!

Replace this desire with the desire to fully accept and love yourself in any manifestation and expression.

People want to be themselves.

Allow yourself and other people to be who they are.

This way you will know everything about how to accept and love yourself.

19. Don’t forget to respect yourself and just look neat

It's enough to live up to your idea of what's normal.

To be in pretentious cool places, you don’t have to have super expensive clothes.

To do this, it is enough to look consistent with your idea of what is normal.

Well, it is advisable, of course, to find out in advance about the requirements of the institution and comply with them. If there are no special requirements, then there is no need to comply with anything.

It is very stupid to advise a person to always think positively. This is tantamount to holding and forcibly clinging to some thoughts in your head.
Any condition is temporary and impermanent. All people's condition changes and there is no point in forcing a person to depend on the condition and constantly chase after it.
This doesn't mean you can now be a nasty, evil woman.. No.
You need to love yourself no matter what condition you are in. Be congruent with yourself and love yourself in every way.

This concludes all the advice. Now you know everything about how to love yourself correctly and correctly interpret this concept.

Wise words

Love is the absence of separation and boundaries between people. This is when you are dissolved and see yourself in every person.

Loving all people is much more beautiful than loving yourself alone or only your partner.

One of the main components of happiness is self-love. You can give joy and care to other people and get a lot of pleasure from it, but you will never achieve complete, 100% happiness. Still, every person has a drop of healthy egoism. Both you and I have it. Before doing this, I recommend that you read the article about.

But before we begin to analyze the question, how to love yourself, let's look at the consequences of low self-esteem. The bare minimum is that you won't feel very confident. The maximum is prolonged depression and even thoughts of suicide. Of course, the latter option is unlikely, but, unfortunately, such cases are also known.

Negativity, in principle, rarely leads to good consequences, let alone negativity towards oneself. On most sites you will probably find the usual advice that will encourage you and tell you: love yourself. However, like you, I understand that this is of little use. Need to dive deeper into this problem to start getting really good results.

By the way, if you believe in the law of attraction, then you understand why you shouldn’t think badly about yourself. For those who don't know, the more you think about something, the more it attracts into your life. For example, if you constantly think about something, then soon the universe will begin to send you many hints on this topic. For example, an article on my blog.

What is the cause of your problem?

Not one of them psychological problems cannot be solved without knowing the reason. Some gifted people (especially on the Internet) like to offer universal solutions. Of course, they can help, but most often they do it only partially or do not bring results at all. The best solution is the help of professionals.

However, you can take the first steps in this direction on your own. Moreover, you have already started doing them, because it’s not for nothing that you started reading an article about how a woman or man can love himself. Congratulations, you are on on the right track, once you already understand the problem and start looking for ways to solve it. But try to go deeper...

Try to remember the first time you had these thoughts. This is very difficult to do, so try a simple exercise. Remember when you thought about your problem? last time, then go back a couple more days and continue until you remember a couple dozen cases. The deeper the memories, the better.

Then remember what they were associated with. For example, if you don't like yourself because excess weight, then it may be the disappointments that come when looking in the mirrors and stopping the diet. If you cannot love yourself because you often lash out at your family, then these memories may come up during quarrels and so on.

You need to get to the root of the problem. Where it all started. When did you first begin to think that you were overweight or had a bad character? Most problems grow from childhood, but there are reasons for poor self-esteem that are associated with adulthood. Answering the question of how to love yourself, psychology cannot give exact answers, but you have taken the second step towards solving it.

Forgive or erase

Next you will have even more difficult task. You may even forgive your offenders or yourself in the past. I repeat, it is incredibly difficult to do this truly, because resentment has accumulated in your heart for many years, but you can do it step by step. The easiest option is to visualize your memories.

For example, you were teased at school because you were overweight. Imagine that this didn't actually happen. You just talked with your classmates, but no one called you names. If this is difficult to do, then try to imagine that they are asking you for forgiveness for what happened. You can also visualize yourself giving these people gifts, smiling together and just talking - this also helps.

But what to do if the memories are so strong that it is almost impossible to forget about them? Try to destroy them. Erase them and imagine it never happened. You have never looked at yourself in the mirror and you have never screamed at your loved ones. Some call it life from a blank slate - perhaps they are right.

At first it will be difficult, but every time you again remember the reasons for your own dissatisfaction, simply drown them out. Yes, ignoring the problem is not the best option, but it will help you gather strength for a further solution, which professional psychologists will help you cope with. And you won’t have to worry about how to make yourself fall in love.

Change your beliefs on paper

Writing gave people not only the opportunity to exchange information. With the help of a regular piece of paper and a ballpoint pen, you can achieve good changes in psychologically. All you need to do is find a secluded place and a few minutes of free time. It is very important that no one distracts you at this moment, and you can fully concentrate on the task.

First, on one side of the paper, write down all the beliefs about yourself that you currently have:

I constantly procrastinate
I can't cope with negative emotions
I don't know,
My skin looks ugly
I'm too fat and clumsy.

Write as many of them as possible. Have you written? Now cross it out. Moreover, put as much of your strength, spirit and aspiration into this action as possible. You don't need them anymore. Then tear this piece of paper, you can even burn it if the situation allows.

However, the exercise doesn't end there. Do something else. Take a new piece of paper and write on it new beliefs that you would like to put into practice. It could be:

I can easily take on any job
I always have a positive attitude towards work
I understand what needs to be done
I look very beautiful
I look the way I need at the moment.

Of course, I am not a supporter of self-deception, but this is a good way. However, you can also write more truthful statements. For example, “I will do everything I can to lose weight”- This option personally appeals to me more. It is more suitable for understanding how a girl can love herself.

Place this piece of paper next to your bed and re-read your new beliefs every time you go to bed. And do it not diagonally, but really read every word. Very soon you will notice that you really start to feel better about yourself. There is also another way to use this list. Which? Find out in the following articles.

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10 steps to love yourself and others

While preparing this material, I came across a wonderful article on English. I will not translate it literally, but some of the points from it seemed attractive enough to me to include them in this post. Of these, ten steps were formulated, by following which you can increase the level of self-love.

First step. Stop criticizing yourself

Every day a person changes. It doesn’t matter what it’s connected with: with his internal struggle, surrounding people or some external circumstances. Every conversation changes us from the inside, every action we take somehow resonates in our character.

However, some people suffer from a very serious disease - delusion of improvement. It seems to them that they should be something bigger, something better, but when faced with reality, they realize that everything is actually not as they would like to think. As a result, they criticize themselves a lot, which does not lead to positive consequences. If you want to love yourself, get rid of this illness.

Second step. Believe in the best

What do you think about before you fall asleep? If you set yourself up for negative emotions, remember all your sins and other inappropriate things, then this explains low level your self-esteem. In fact, to change and love yourself, you just need to believe in the best. Instead of sad memories, think about the good. Instead of imagining future difficulties, dream about an ideal future, this, and so on.

Third step. Become more patient

One of my friends asked how to make a girl love him. I was surprised by this, because I was sure that he himself suffered from low self-esteem. In fact, many people want a lot, here and now. However, this does not happen.

To achieve something big, you must first achieve a small goal. If you come to gym, then you are unlikely to be able to lift 100 kg the first time. First you will have to take a 5-kilogram weight, then a 10-kilogram and so on. This also works in other situations.

Fourth step. Think positively

You need to get rid of most of the negativity that pours into your mind every day. Without this, it is hardly possible to understand how a man or woman can love himself. True, every day we are bombarded with such a stream of negative emotions that sometimes you wonder how you can survive in such situations.

First of all, you should exclude TV and mass media. Only negative emotions come from there, and your friends will easily notify you about important news. Also work on your thoughts and eliminate everything unnecessary.

Fifth step. Praise yourself

It's best to do this at the end of the day. Look back and appreciate the hours you have lived. Is there anything for which you can be praised? Even if it's a small thing like usual care colleague or lessons learned, then you still need to give vent to your feelings and say how great you are. Believe me, it is not that easy, but try to make it a daily practice.

Sixth step. Start supporting yourself

People very often expect support from other people. Instead, it is enough to say to yourself a couple of times simple words like “You can handle it” or “Be patient a little longer, I believe that you will succeed” and it will really become easier for you. If you start to suffer again due to problems associated with low self-esteem, remember this and say a few encouraging sentences.

Seventh step. Love your negative sides

If the negative aspects cannot be avoided, then simply accept them and love them. For example, if you got an ugly scar from childhood that you can’t get rid of, then instead of crying about it, start admiring it or just make friends. You can even imagine him as your friend and talk sometimes. Just don't go too far.

Eighth step. Start taking care of your body

Join a gym. Learn how to make your skin, hair and nails more attractive. If you are a girl, learn how to apply makeup correctly and so on, you must understand that you look as attractive as possible.

Ninth step. Set yourself up for success

To love yourself, there is nothing easier than having the mindset for success. First thing in the morning, go to the mirror and make sure that this day will go just fine. Determine the upcoming tasks in advance in order to achieve the desired result.

Smile at yourself, rub your hands together in anticipation of the work day and tell yourself that you look amazing. It will take no more than five minutes, but the result will be simply incredible.

Tenth step. Help others

Nothing boosts self-confidence like helping other people. Indeed, no matter what you do, you will begin to feel truly happy only if your emotions are supported good deeds. And it doesn’t matter what kind of help it will be: whether you move your grandmother across the road or send money to help those in need.

On this, perhaps, we can end the article about how to love yourself. If you have any questions, feel free to write them in the comments. You can also write wishes or some other things there. By the way, don't forget to subscribe to comments. Bye bye!

Another frequently asked question associated with the practice of self-love. In many books they write - love yourself! At trainings they say that the reasons for failure are not self-love. But what does it mean to love yourself? Does this mean that you need to tell yourself 200 every day? nice words? Or does it mean that you need to stroke your body in front of the mirror every day? Or should you smile at your reflection?
What do you need to do to love yourself? First, let's figure out what love is.

Love is a verb
Modern women do not like the fact that in the east girls are married off as children. For those whom their parents chose for them. But there is a rational grain in this. Knowing that she has a husband, the girl is no longer looking for anyone. Just like a boy, he can study calmly and not be distracted. Indian women say “You marry the one you love. And we learn to love the one we marry.”
in his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families” he gives an example. When, after the seminar, a man approached him and said that he no longer loved his wife.

"What should I do?" – he asked

“Love her,” Stephen replied.

“You probably didn’t understand me - I don’t love her anymore”

“Moreover, you need to start loving her. Love is a verb. So these are actions. Take care of her, listen to her, try to understand her. Learn to love her"

This is exactly what is missing modern families. Understanding that love is not just a chemistry of hormones that evaporates after 18 months. Love is work, it is labor, it is action.

« Love is patient, merciful, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, is not rude, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ceases..."(Epistle to the Corinthians)

If you look at the points, then:

Long-suffering- this means that she is able to overcome feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction, and is also able to forgive offensive words, claims, misunderstandings, opposing opinions and attitudes.

Merciful- this is about the fact that love is capable of being forgiving of mistakes, is ready to understand and get into the situation, help and support. Unselfishly.

Doesn't envy- that is, Love rejoices in what is, and with the happiness of its neighbor. I have exactly what I need.

Doesn't boast or be proud– this means that loving person can easily give up being right, stop “yaking” for any reason, in any situation. And it is also about the absence of contempt and arrogance.

Doesn't act outrageously- this is about the fact that there is no love in hysterics and scandals, there is no love in shouting and assault, there cannot be love in any form of violence and cruelty. After all, sometimes cruelty can be silent - such as a boycott.

Not looking for his own- that is, Love is capable of sacrificing its time, attention, activities, comfort - for the sake of the happiness of a loved one.

Doesn't get irritated- this means that the lover is capable of being the way he is, without trying to remake him in his own way.

Thinks no evil- this is about the fact that Love is far from revenge and ideas of justice - An eye for an eye and the like. There is no love in reproaches, injections, sarcastic jokes, or jabs.

Does not rejoice in untruth, but rejoices in the truth- that is, a loving person is always honest and truthful. Although the truth is not always beautiful and easy. This behavior is the basis of trust.

Covers everything, believes everything- this is about the fact that Love does not listen to gossip and trusts completely. With all my heart. Love without trust is no longer love.

Total hopes- means that sometimes you can only hold on to hope, and this will save you difficult moment. Even when it seems that there is nothing to hope for, she is able to save.

endures everything- that is, she is able to forgive truly, with all her heart. Even if a loved one does something bad, ugly, or hurts. Love is able to forgive - but not from a position of arrogance, like a mischievous kitten, but from a position of love and acceptance.

Love never stops– this means never. Under no external circumstances. No matter how the other person behaves. Love does not depend at all on how he behaves. She just is. Always.

Love for another person is when I can sacrifice my comfort and rightness for the sake of the happiness of another person (The main thing in sacrifice is not to overdo it, since sacrificing comfort is not the same as sacrificing everything).

Love is a verb.

How is love born?

Love is not a feeling, but an action. This means that it is born when we do something for it, for example, we know how to love pets. Why? Because we invest a lot in them. Care, training, training, more care, attention. And over time, a strong connection is formed when they become family to us.

The same mechanism works with children. After all, even if the child is not his own, adopted, then together with caring for him, love is born. After a few years, we love him just as we would love our own. Why? After all, there is no physiological maternal instinct here?

Love appears when we fulfill our duty to another person. When we . When we do our best. When we give it time and attention.

Love is born from everyday little things - deeds, words, actions, care.

What about self-love?

Everything is the same. Apply all of the above to yourself and get a step-by-step guide:

Take time for yourself. Find at least 30 minutes for yourself every day. When you can do what you love in silence and solitude. Read books, sing songs, pray, draw, lie in the bath. Consistency is key here. Don’t just go away once a month for a couple of days, but find at least half an hour for yourself every day. Even if you have small children. Even if you have a lot of work. Love is a verb.
Take care of your body. The body plays an important role in a woman’s life. It is very important to take care of him and help him cope with stress. All women are recommended for massage. All women are shown beauty salons with manicures and pedicures. Dancing, gymnastics, petal baths, skin care. Make it a daily ritual.
Take care of your diet. What you put into your body is just as important. After all, you want to make your loved one healthier and more beautiful. Then why are you still eating so much junk food? Carbonated drinks, sweets, fried foods, too spicy... Why do you feed your loved one fast food and processed foods?
Take care of your communication. You wouldn't give your loved one to the wolves. And you yourself communicate with those people who humiliate you, ridicule you, and do not consider you anything. Wouldn't you like a company that will always support and help you? Take care of yourself - find such people (at least virtually - it’s not difficult).
Do good deeds. Improve the lives of others around you. this will give you a reason to think less about your problems. And besides, it will help raise your self-esteem.

Spare no effort in taking care of yourself. Don't forget about yourself in the flow of everyday life. Don't push yourself into the deepest corner of your life.

This is exactly what self-love is. It is not born once and forever. Love is a constant process of care and attention. But only by knowing this miracle can you bring it into the world, share it with other people and illuminate the whole world.

She allows herself to be revealed feminine energy like a flower. She allows herself to bloom, allows herself to smell fragrant and delight everyone around her with happiness and fulfillment.
This love pours out of her and envelops her family with wisdom, affection, care and happiness.

No. No, this is not selfishness or inflated self-esteem, but precisely love for your true self, for your feminine nature.

A woman who loves herself, she merges with the flow of her stellar destiny - to be a woman, to be an inspiration, to be a vessel of tenderness, boundless creativity and joy.
Such a woman easily and confidently demonstrates her feminine qualities in the highest aspect; she can be weak, vulnerable, strong, and purposeful. Everything in it will be harmonious.
The main thing is a woman who loves herself allows herself to enjoy life, she smiles, she creates, she wants the best for herself, her family and for everyone.
Such a radiant, full woman is a source of priceless energy, which she radiates and spends wisely. She is always welcome. A woman who loves herself is attractive.

A man always subconsciously strives for the gentle impulsive energy of femininity.
Men sometimes turn around and look at young girls not because of beauty or some instincts, as many believe. They are simply subconsciously drawn to this spring of femininity, to this pure energy. Which is usually in abundance in youth.
They are drawn to this force, which was provided by nature itself to preserve and increase the energy of love and happiness in the family. Which promises them peace, prosperity and sweetness in family life. Which balances and nourishes their masculinity and strength. Which supports, multiplies and strengthens men's faith in themselves, in their limitless possibilities.

Dear women, girls, love yourself, take care of yourself, always take care of yourself!
Do everything possible so as not to get tired, not to work hard, and not to waste your inner source of energy. After all, all the hardships of everyday life, unbearable burdens and work are reflected in the appearance, and most importantly in the eyes and in the heart.
After all, the best cosmetics are shining eyes. Don’t be led by this big illusion, this instilled dorkish careerism, consumer mentality or glamorous magazine utopia, when everything goes only into the external.
Being tired, exhausted, sleep-deprived, giving up on yourself, dressed like a lumberjack, how can you be an inspiration?

You can preserve your source of femininity: if you work, then with pleasure, if you study, then the most interesting and exciting things, if you do housework, then with joy and to a certain extent, if you babysit children, then with wisdom and self-care, if take care of others - always with respect for yourself and your feelings and strengths.

Only by being radiant can you give a particle of your light. Self-love is the foundation for everything else. Taking care of yourself, your soul, your beauty, all this will pay off thousands to millions of times, with the admiring eyes of your loved one, joy in the family and prosperity in life.

The attitude of others towards each of us depends on what we think about ourselves. If a woman wants to be respected and loved by others, she must love and respect herself. Otherwise, those around you will have a strange feeling - the woman seems to be good, but something is wrong with her... Even if you skillfully hide your dislike for yourself, people still feel it.

Most women understand that for successful life you need to be able to love yourself. But how can a woman love herself? There are simple tips that you can follow to learn to love yourself.

Recognize that you are special and unique

First of all, forget about your shortcomings. Moreover, in most cases they are far-fetched or significantly exaggerated. Your shortcomings are your characteristics.

Each of us is unique and unique, there is no one else like this and there never will be. And this is where your attractiveness lies. No one else has eyes, lips, or cheekbones like you. Take a closer look at yourself, see how beautiful you are.

Learn to take care of yourself

Each of us is familiar with the feeling of love, love for someone. But we don’t always know how to love ourselves. So how can a woman love herself?

Think about how you show love to another person. What do you do when you care for someone you love? It’s very good to make a list and try to do the same for yourself. Your attitude towards yourself, your body, your characteristics will change very quickly.

Recognize that you deserve the best

Try to understand that you deserve the best in everything. Whenever possible, pamper yourself. These don't have to be expensive things or services. Buy yourself, for example, a beautiful blouse or new lipstick. But this thing should please you, emphasize your beauty and uniqueness. You need to like yourself, so that you are pleased to see yourself in the mirror.

Feel well-groomed and seductive

Never deny yourself the opportunity to feel yourself
beautiful. Nowadays, there are many pleasant procedures for this. Make yourself a list of 20 procedures that will help you be beautiful. Find time at least once a week or once a month for one of them.

By taking care of your body, you will feel your self-esteem increase. You will feel feminine, desirable, seductive. Once you love your body, you will be able to enjoy self-care.

Feel the beauty of female weakness

Many have heard the expression that feminine power lies in its weakness. A woman who feels attractive is not afraid to appear weak and ask for help. In her defenselessness, a woman seems more tender and feminine. Next to her, every man feels strong, courageous, and a protector. And if a man feels like a knight, he will be able to do everything possible and impossible for you.

Now you have an action plan called “as a woman.” To make it easier to complete it, make a list for yourself. Distribute one thing for each day of the week that will help you love yourself. At the end of this week, you will feel how much your attitude towards yourself has changed.

We hope our article will help you. Write in the comments how often you pamper yourself. What do you do to feel beautiful, desired, and to love yourself.

Love yourself, girls!!

Love yourself, girls,
Protect the light of your heart,
Take off with your soul, loving life,
Adore your loved ones.

In the first place it is you,
Kids, husband, family, flowers,
Those that bloom in your soul,
And they give you a beautiful life.

We have Love in us. Keep it
Give yourself all the good things,
Outfits, beauty, comfort,
Once again the angels of love lead.

God Himself protects on the way,
TO happy life directs
No one can replace
The love that is in the heart will live.

Life is our right - So live it,
Love yourself and your neighbor,
Create everything you deserve
And be joyful, satisfied,
With your destiny and eternal life,
What blossomed in the love of the heart,

Love yourself, girls!

How a woman should love herself

Loving yourself is very important, but not every woman comes to this art as easily as she would like. Where do many problems come from? In fact, from the depths of your own consciousness - there is a source there. We ourselves set taboos, clichés, evaluate ourselves low, find fault, come up with possible better versions of past events, think a lot about the bad, consider ourselves unworthy of something. How to cope with the problem and learn to love yourself first?

External data – looking for advantages

How to work on yourself:

· Remember the compliments you have received. If you don’t communicate much with people, upload a beautiful photo to a group on your favorite social network. They will write something good to you!

· Encourage yourself. In every little thing you need to praise yourself, your beloved. Do it mentally or out loud – it doesn’t matter, depending on the circumstances.

· Don't be lazy. Beautiful hair, a clean body, a neat manicure - this gives you self-confidence. You will fall in love with the very beauty that you see every day in the mirror.

Opinions of others

When you learn to listen first to your inner voice, you will become happier. And before you know it, you will love yourself.

Think positive, dream

Have you ever thought about the composition of your thoughts? Most of us are accustomed to immersing ourselves in problems, feeling sorry for ourselves, and replaying the same unfortunate situation dozens of times in our thoughts. And this is a big mistake!

Everyone has failures. You need to draw conclusions, but not get hung up. Life goes on! You are beautiful, full of strength, beauty and... that same self-love.

Think more about the good, try to catch yourself in the negative and drive it away. Dream more, make plans, goals. Learn to have fun, even if you feel lonely today.

Remember - you are beautiful, even despite your flaws! All that remains is to highlight this beauty. And when you love yourself, others will also change their attitude towards you.

“There will always be something new to say about a woman, as long as at least one of them remains on the globe.”

Stanislav de Bouffler

“A man, even if he wanted to, cannot take away power from a woman, for she rules the world with the power of a despot, although this power is love.”

Jeremy Bentham

“You can imagine a humanity consisting of only women, but you cannot imagine a humanity consisting of only men.”

Jean Rostand

“Pity is the worst thing you can offer a woman.”

Vicki Baum

“Women are a special people: if you compliment them, they take them for the truth; if you tell them the truth, they are offended.”

Eric Bern

“Men make laws, and women make morals.”

Francois Guibert

“Oh, women's tears! You wash away everything: our energy, our resistance, and our anger.”

Antoine Francois Prevost

“Women, of course, are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman who would lose her head just because a man has beautiful legs?”

Faina Ranevskaya

A woman who loves herself will always take care of herself, even when others cannot see her. Her feelings, emotions and her life will be in her hands, and therefore in the area of her control. This means that she will not need to control others.
Self-love is the ability to experience and endure pain, to accept suffering without becoming a victim.
A confident woman knows how to wait. She will always take a pause to think before doing or saying anything.

A confident woman understands men. She will not contact just anyone out of loneliness or a desire to feel loved. In a man, she will be primarily interested in him human qualities, abilities, opportunities and potential. She will look at a man not from the position of how he treats her, but whether she can love him.

A confident woman in relationships with men will build bridges, not walls, expecting from a man that he must certainly break her and make his way to her heart.
Women's grievances build walls of alienation.

A woman who loves herself knows how to forgive and not accumulate grievances. She knows how to talk and is not shy about talking about her desires. Don't be ashamed of your feelings.

A confident woman lives at peace with herself. She knows what she can offer a man, but she is in no hurry to do it too quickly.
A woman who loves herself is in no hurry to open her soul to an unfamiliar man. She doesn’t get carried away until she gets to know the man better.

A confident woman will not, after meeting a man, replay the details of their communication in her head for the hundredth time. She will not try to unravel a man’s secret and penetrate his soul. He will not try to make his own guesses and assumptions about why he did or said this.

A confident woman does not need a man to assert herself.

A woman who loves herself knows how to be happy without a man. Her mood does not depend on his presence in her life.

With love, Irina Gavrilova Dempsey

I completely share the point of view that what better person treats himself, the more likely he is to become successful and achieve his goals. Good attitude towards oneself increases the likelihood of achieving heights, for example, in professional field. Loving yourself means being in harmony with yourself and the world around you, feeling confident and attractive, respecting yourself and your desires, and carrying a positive charge that is felt by the people around you.

Dissatisfaction with oneself deprives a person of the ability to enjoy life, often leads to low mood or even causes depression. A person who does not love himself cannot love someone else, so a common problem for such people is loneliness, the inability to build productive relationships with others, and lack of friends. Self-dislike is often associated with low self-esteem, which is fraught with dissatisfaction with oneself, one’s appearance, lack of self-confidence, constant voltage and a feeling of worthlessness.

Videos of women love yourself

I recently received this letter:

“Why should a woman love herself? A woman must love her children, parents, and husband. And do everything for their sake. This is her calling and the meaning of life. But loving yourself is selfishness!”

Who else thinks so? I don’t know about you, but, firstly, I am categorically against all “a woman should”, and secondly... I answered the letter, but it turned out to be a whole article.

If you don't like your life and want to change it, then you need to start with yourself. And usually the main reason for all life problems is that a woman does not love and does not accept herself.

Let's follow the logical chain.

Sphere of relations

A woman dreams of getting married, but pushes men away from her. Why is this happening? In most cases, this woman does not accept or love herself, and if she does not love herself, then why should anyone else love her? The world is mirrored. When you love yourself, this love is reflected outside, and those around you also begin to radiate love. And if you criticize yourself, see only shortcomings in yourself, hate your appearance, character, habits... Then the people around you will perceive you the same way. They will allow themselves to criticize you and reflect your “dislike”, which will spill out on you.

And then you begin to listen to their criticism and put off your life “for later,” promising yourself: “When I lose weight, become slim and beautiful, I will find my soul mate and get married.” I don't want to upset you. But this won't happen. You may change in appearance, but it is unlikely that losing a few kilograms of excess weight will make you love yourself more. You will find other reasons to humiliate yourself.

How do I know this? At one time I was a very strict judge of myself. She did not forgive herself for her mistakes, she was very demanding about her appearance and what she did. She treated herself very harshly. Although by nature I am very kind person, I love and forgive everyone... everyone except myself. It was like that before. Now everything is different. I have been living with a different position for exactly 10 years now. I received very good lesson from life and I am grateful to her for it. When it was really bad, I realized that I was doing everything wrong! It was a bright flash of light, what is called insight! When in an instant the mosaic comes together because the missing puzzle has been found.

And this puzzle was for me - to love myself and put MY interests above all else.

Now, whatever I do, I do it from the position of a woman who loves herself. And that's okay. I love my husband, son, mother. But I also understand that if I feel bad, they will suffer too. Well, when I feel good, all my relatives are happy too! After all, I am a WOMAN. I create the atmosphere in the home and in relationships. And a lot in the family depends on my state of mind and health.

So here it is. I continue about relationships. Love yourself as you are today, and then your soul mate will be attracted to you. How do you know, maybe the person who is destined to become your husband loves plump women, and for some reason you are trying to lose weight. And when you lose weight, he may simply not notice you and pass by :) This also happens.

Field of work and career

What kind of woman is usually successful in career growth? A woman who is confident that she is the best specialist in her field. She doesn’t doubt herself, loves herself, and her bosses also begin to appreciate her and promote her. Again, the law of reflection works. How we treat ourselves is how others treat us.

Our relationship with money is directly related to how we feel about ourselves. A woman who loves herself will not work in a low-paying job she doesn’t love. She will find her purpose and start earning money doing what she loves. After all, when we like something and we do it with love, everything works out for us, and what we love begins to generate income.

Health sector

A woman who loves herself will not skimp on herself, on her vacation, on vitamins and examinations, on sports. She takes care of her health. When a woman in a family is healthy and happy, joyful and energetic, she infects those around her with her happiness. After all, happiness is contagious! Both her husband and children feel comfortable in such an atmosphere of happiness. Therefore, a woman should take care of herself first of all, so that everyone around her will feel good, joyful and bright! Simple logic.

This is why you need to learn to love and accept yourself.