Find out what it means to you personally to be good person. Some people think that just not doing harm to others is enough, but goodness is often expressed in what you do for others, not in what you don't do. A good person should help both himself and others. You must decide what it means to you to be a good person.

Choose a role model for yourself. This way you can look up to someone. This person should have the character traits that you want to have. Think about how you can adopt these traits and apply them to your work, creativity, relationships, lifestyle, and nutrition.

• Who do you look up to and why? How does this person make the world a better place? Can you do the same?
• What qualities do you admire in this person and can you develop them in yourself?
• Always have a role model in your mind to inspire you. Think about how that person would react to a question or event and respond that way.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Try to understand that many people have it better than you, but many have it much worse. If a person feels unhappy due to comparison with others, he is wasting time and energy that could be spent on developing his personality. Praise yourself every morning. Good mood makes you a more positive person and helps you spread kindness to the world.

   Love yourself. Learn to love yourself. Embrace your identity. The only way to love others is to first accept and love yourself. You should feel good about what you do for yourself and what you believe in, not just what you do for others. If you try to do things for others while forgetting about yourself, it will result in resentment, anger and depression. If you love yourself, you will be able to sincerely help others.

   • Are you trying to artificially impose on yourself the qualities of a good person? If inside you hate yourself and are angry at the whole world, you cannot be considered a good person, even if you do good deeds.

2. Be yourself. Always be yourself and don't try to pretend to be someone else. Don't act like someone else. Be yourself and do what you can do. This way you will be a sincere person who can give goodness to the world. If you are true to yourself, you will be able to understand what you believe in and what you consider important.

   Meditate and/or pray. Prayers higher powers or meditation will help you develop the qualities you need. Meditation and prayer will allow you to find inner peace and focus on your inner world. As you understand yourself better, you will discover what you really want and gain clarity in your life. When you become calmer, you will feel better, and this will help you become a better person.

   Start with small changes. Change cannot happen overnight, but small changes go a long way. Every month or every two months, set a goal to break one or two habits that you don't like.

   • Example goal 1: “I will listen to others without interrupting with words or gestures.” Think about how unpleasant it would be for you if someone tried to say something while you were still speaking.
   • Goal 2: “I will try to think about what will make the other person happy.” It is okay to share food or drinks with people when they are hungry or thirsty; you can give way or do something else.

3. Review your goals daily. To become a good person, it is important to reread your list of desirable qualities every day. It must become a part of you. Follow the advice from this article, and also come up with something new of your own.

   Be honest. Lying destroys trust and ruins relationships. Don't lie to others - be honest with them. Good people don't lie, they speak directly about their thoughts and feelings. Instead of lying and involving someone else in difficult situation, tell me exactly what you think. Don't be passive aggressive.

   Make small acts of kindness a habit. Simple little things will help you become better. Smile at someone or hold the door. Very soon it will become a habit that you won’t even think about.

   Show empathy. Remember that kindness, understanding and compassion are the result of loving and caring for others. Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and assess the situation from their point of view. Think about how you would feel if you were that person. Most likely, you will begin to consider other people's feelings. This will show in your words and actions. Be a good person not to appear good in the eyes of others, but so that it will benefit others.

   • Don't always try to be diplomatic. Don't be afraid of possible difficulties.

Interaction with others

1. Accept everyone around you. To become a good person, it is important not to judge others. A good person accepts everyone, regardless of their race, age, sexual orientation, gender and culture. Remember that everyone has feelings, that every person is valuable and worthy of respect.

   • Respect older people. Don't forget that someday you too will get old and you will need help. Next time you find yourself in shopping center, in a parking lot or anywhere else, look around for an elderly person who needs help (such as with bags). Offer your help - he will appreciate it. If the person refuses, apologize and wish him Have a good day. If somewhere you meet old man, smile at him and ask how his day is going. This may be enough to make a person feel better.
   • Show compassion for people with mental disabilities. They also have feelings. Smile at them and treat them like people worthy of respect. If someone laughs at you, ignore it and continue to communicate with the person who is your true friend.
   • Don't be racist, don't be homophobic and be tolerant of other religions. The world is multifaceted. Learn new things from other people and enjoy this diversity.

2. Control your anger. If you argue with someone, keep your anger under control. When arguing about something with a friend, don’t be rude, but don’t hide your feelings either. Talk to the person and solve the problem. It’s better not to take your anger out on each other, but to take a break and think about the problem. Try saying this: “I want to look into this because you are my friend. Let’s not talk about this for a while - we need to think about it.”

   Praise other people. Nice words- This is an easy way to achieve a friendly atmosphere. Praise new hairstyle colleagues and a passerby's dog on the street. Compliment friends you envy. Praising what is worthy of praise is very good, and you would probably want your successes to be noted by others too.

   Listen carefully to others. Many people rarely listen to the words of others. Everyone wants to matter and be valued. Listen to people. Follow the person's story. Don't be distracted by external stimuli and don't look at your phone.

In our harsh world, where the life of most people is like an endless struggle for survival, and where everyone tries to occupy best place, often in dishonest ways, it is very difficult to remain a good person. In general, this is difficult for many of us, especially if we have to spend a lot of time on our own survival. And yet, some part of our soul or mind wants us to remain good people. The only question is, what does it mean to be a good person? And how to become one?

Who is he, a good person?

Each of you probably has your own definition of a good person, depending on what society you live in, but in our case, a good person is a person who cares about others, who is not indifferent to the fate of people in difficulties. A good person is willing to help others and treats everyone with respect, regardless of their social status. A good person helps other people not for the sake of gratitude or encouragement, but at the behest of his soul, this is a way of his self-expression.

Why be a good person?

And really, why be good at all? In a world where everyone lives for himself and where the question of survival is put at the forefront, because otherwise you risk being “eaten”, good people seem to be a rarity. However, when one person gets into trouble, others, even strangers, rush to his aid? Why is this happening? Perhaps because even in our cruel world, to be or not to be a good person remains a matter of our choice. We are free to choose this, despite the difficulties we ourselves have to cope with. And yet why? Maybe precisely because we can be good people? Or because it's easier than it seems? So to be or not to be? The choice is yours!

How to become a good person?

Think like a good person. The first thing you need to be a good person is to start thinking like a good person, to try on the image of a good person, and to try to understand what motivates him. This is not a matter of one day, it will take great job to correct the distortions in your worldview that prevent you from doing good things and being a good person. Just like a good person, you should start thinking about prosperity and abundance, and stop being afraid of losses or deprivations. Remember that a good person remembers to take care of himself, but the lion's share of his thoughts are occupied by thoughts about other people and how he can help those in need. Try to think in this way, and you will notice the difference.

Be aware of what's happening around you. Be interested in the lives of other people, communicate with your relatives and friends, meet new people, expand your horizons. Try to be aware of what people close to you feel, how they live, what they strive for and what they need. Create for yourself a map of the world in which the main actor It’s not just you and your needs that speak out, but also other people and their aspirations. Your knowledge of your environment can be used by you to achieve the common good, and this is what you need to be a good person.

Act like a good person. Here we come to the main point. A good person thinks like a good person and is interested in what is happening around him, but it is not this that makes him a good person, but his actions. A good person knows a lot of ways to support and help other people in word or deed, and puts his knowledge into practice. It is important that he does this unobtrusively, when other people really need it or ask for it. So you, just like a good person, do good deeds. Do them selflessly, without seeking gratitude. Greet every new day and every new person in your life with a smile.

I think that's enough for one article. Of course, this question should be considered from all sides and in more detail, I will return to it more than once on the pages of the site, but for now, I suggest you make your own list of thoughts about what makes a good person good and what first steps you can take to become a good person. Good luck and all the best to you.

Good day, dear friend!

Many people think that they are the nicest and most pleasant person in every way. But, unfortunately, this is far from the case.

Most believe that modern society consists of nothing but selfish, ungrateful, vile, deceitful, evil people and among them it is impossible to be a sympathetic, honest and good person. It's absolutely impossible!

In fact, you need to understand that there are no good or bad people. Each of us is wonderful in our own way. And anger and indifference are nothing more than a mask, which is a kind of protective shell. Look at yourself when you are worried, rushing somewhere or thinking about something – is there such a mask on your face?

It turns out that being a kind, open and good person is difficult and scary?

It seems to us that we risk being ridiculed, misunderstood, rejected when we take steps towards others. It takes some determination to stop being defensive and start trusting people. After all, sometimes they can be so suspicious. Kindness seems stupid to them, sensitivity is considered soft-hearted, and they associate success with the habit of “going over their heads” and cruelty, because in our world there is simply no other way to survive.

But the truth of life is that all people are looking for compassion and kindness. It’s just that everyone wants the people around them to treat them well, instead of trying to become a good person themselves. To do this, you need little - just give someone a compliment, smile at your neighbors, let a pensioner skip the line, donate clothes or toys to charitable organization, call your parents, answer a letter from a child’s friend, write down gratitude to the cashier or seller in the “Book of Reviews,” buy magazines or juice for your neighbors in the hospital ward in which you are visiting a person close to you.

Such small, elementary steps will help you start a chain reaction of good, good deeds. After all, there are charities, mutual aid and volunteer societies, communities on the Internet where people can exchange information, help or gifts.

That's why you should start changing the world with yourself. No one demands self-sacrifice from you, infringes on your rights or forces you to overcome yourself. Since to be a good person means you need to have self-respect, be firm and do good deeds whenever the opportunity arises.

How to become a good person?

1. Respect the individuality of other people. Respect is incompatible with whims and jealousy, a sense of power over someone and a sense of ownership.

2. Treat other people the way you want them to treat you. It sounds corny, but it demonstrates well what a good person should be.

3. You need to talk less, but better. If you don’t know what to say or you feel embarrassed because you don’t say anything to the person standing next to you, or if you want to gossip, be silent. You are not obligated to discuss people behind their backs or create the appearance of a conversation.

4. Learn to listen and understand. Being a charming, pleasant and good person does not mean that you need to please everyone and try to please everyone, be smarter, prettier and better than everyone else. Just be attentive, interested, sincere and listen to other people.

5. Take care of yourself and behave with dignity. How you carry yourself, how you smell, how you look, how you behave is very important. If you ignore generally accepted rules and norms, then you will never become a good person.

6. When you need to defend yourself, be assertive and angry. If you are humiliated, tried to deceive or attacked, you have every right to aggression and anger. At this moment, you do not need gentleness and understanding - they will not help you defeat your opponents.

7 . Do everything you undertake well – don’t be lazy. You should never complain that you work more than others, that someone needs it, but not you. They respect those people who know their business well and know why they are doing it.

8. Take criticism calmly. The better your reputation, the more criticism you will receive, and if you cannot respond to it correctly, you will not be able to become a good person. Don't take useless, empty words to heart. And think about what hurts you and use it as an incentive for your further development.

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Difficulty level: Easy

1 step

You may ask, why should I be a good person? Yes, so that later you would not be ashamed to tell your past, even in order to remain human.
Look around, where do we live? in what environment? What we hear when we travel in a minibus: Poor sick grandmother who receives 500 UAH. pensions, war veteran, by law must ride for free, but what do we hear from the driver? “It’s BUSY, there are only pensioners, where do they come from, damn children of war...” most drivers say that the preferential seat is occupied, even though it is free. Well, what kind of society is this? no respect for those people who fought for you, died, suffered hunger strikes, etc.
After all, without the past there will be no future.

Step 2

Be honest:

Never deceive, pay off debts always and on time, be guided by the expression: “honor comes first.” Honor is your dignity, neither money nor anything should break it. Don’t think that you won’t earn money honestly! this is a myth. And remember “The rich are not the ones who earn a lot, but the ones who spend wisely.” Dirty, easy money will come and go, you won’t feel it, it will disappear like water into sand.

Step 3

Be hardworking:

People simply respect and appreciate hardworking people, don’t be lazy, work harder than most people, don’t think that you are working for someone else. Remember, if you work only for yourself. Do everything as if it were your own!

Step 4

Be polite:

Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Always say hello first, let girls through the door first, give your hand from the minibus, give up your seat in public transport, etc.
All these little things form an opinion about you.
And even more so, “Life is a boomerang, everything will come back.”

Step 5

Be proud:

A proud person is a person. Only within reasonable measures. The main thing is not to exaggerate with this. Try not to ask, not to strain people, solve all your problems and concerns YOURSELF, you alone must be responsible for your actions, responsibilities, etc.

I’m not saying that don’t ask anyone for anything, but don’t humiliate yourself, don’t ask 100 times, ask for something once, they didn’t give it to you, don’t ask again.
Proud people are also valued, and they achieve a lot in life.

Step 6

Be charming
A charming person will always succeed in everything.
What is a charming person? This is not the one who is the most beautiful and not the one who is the smartest. This is the person who can listen to you carefully. Think about whether you have a friend who attracts people to him, if there is one, then watch him. When you talk to them, it seems that he listens to you and no one else, he will put aside all his affairs to listen to you.
This is charm. So what do you need to do to develop charm?
1. When they come to you with a request or want to tell you something, then put aside all your business and listen carefully.
2. Think about what they tell you.
3. Look only into the eyes, don’t be afraid, it’s not possible to look back, if you look away, then fix your gaze as quickly as possible.
4. Signal that you are listening:(Yes, yeah, what are you saying, it can’t be, seriously?) and much more. The main thing is not to remain silent, but to make such sounds from time to time.
5. You cannot understand everything, ask clarifying questions:(That is, if... you want to say that...,)
If you don’t know what to ask, repeat the idea in your own words and ask, did I understand correctly?

Although this is the last point of the instructions, in my opinion it is extremely important. First of all, start with it.

What is a good person? How can we become such a person? All people want to be positive. There are many factors needed to be better. Here are a few of the most important ones. They are the starting point for working on yourself:

1. Patience and restraint

Never get angry. People should be able to take other people’s mistakes calmly, and if the mistake is serious, then tolerant person will process the situation in a compassionate manner.

2. Goodwill

It is important to radiate goodwill. be attentive to everyone, especially children, weak people and the elderly.

We can start by lending a helping hand in our daily lives. For example, if crying baby lost on the street, a good person will not pass by, he will decide to stay with the lost baby to try to find the child’s family.

Another thing we can do is help older people cross the road, carry heavy luggage, or simply lend a hand to help.

We can also do good for homeless animals, help them find good owners, feed them, foster them...

We continue to develop the good in ourselves

People who have a lot of knowledge and when they encounter trouble, they can solve it with the help of their knowledge.

To have a lot of knowledge, you must be curious about everything, and if you have things that you cannot understand, you must actively seek answers to them.

If you are faced with a new problem and don't know what to do to solve it, you must use your knowledge. Collecting information and learning new things is important for us to use good judgment and be a good person.

4. Positive impression

The first impression is very important. We must first pay attention to our clothes and image. A good person will always be neat and attractive in order to win you over.

5. Confidence

To have the confidence that comes from past experiences, successes and failures, we must try many things. Develop. Go ahead. It goes without saying that there are many more failures in life than successes. In other words, if we don't fail, we can't succeed. The most important thing is to gain the confidence to keep trying new things.

We are what we made ourselves. And only we are responsible for this. So let's become better - anyone who is ready to move from words to actions can do this.

Every thinking person sooner or later comes to these thoughts:

· How to make this world a little better?

· How to become better yourself?

Of course, you should start with yourself. It may sound too simple, but personal improvement is actually very powerful. When you work on yourself, become more honest, decent, kinder - this has an impact on the world around you.

Gradually you notice that you are surrounded by good people, that external circumstances are developing in your favor. Why? Simply for the reason that the World responds to you according to your deserts: for good deeds“thanks” you with good friends or new opportunities. It is very important to realize that nothing happens in your life for nothing. Everything is a consequence of your thoughts and actions. It’s not just that you have this job, this boss, these neighbors, this family, finally. And if you want to improve all this, start with yourself.

“Well, how can you become better, how can you become a good person?” - you ask.

We will answer, just promise that you won’t give up on the advice by saying that these are truisms. They are of no use until you start using them. Once you implement them into your life, the effect will amaze you.

So how to become a good person? The rules for every day are quite simple:

1. Be honest- in thoughts, words, actions.

How good life is honest people- they are not afraid that the lies will be exposed, their conscience does not torment them, they do not need to spin another lie onto this tangle. Living without “stones” in your soul is really great.

2. Take responsibility- for everything that happens to you.

With responsibility comes inner freedom. Living and even breathing becomes easier. You no longer need to delve into the past and look for the reasons for your troubles there. You are the cause of everything, which means you can fix everything.

3. Work on your character- become better methodically.

Contrary to stereotypes, character is not a constant that nature has endowed us with and with which nothing can be done. Yes, this is not the most simple task, but we are quite capable. What needs to be done for this? Change your thinking, stop thinking and acting the way you are used to, and start doing it consciously. Acquire new habits and new reactions to what is happening (having previously determined what you are not happy with and what you would like to replace it with).

You will find more tips on the portal “You are free!” - this site offers its users absolutely free information materials and tools that help change themselves and their lives for the better. The topic of our article today on this site is devoted to an entire section “Becoming Better.” Indeed, it is easier to cover all aspects of self-improvement in several articles than in one text, as we do. However, we will try to cover one more issue - children's.

How to become betterchild

You can change at any age. It is important to realize this and not be afraid of change. At the same time, often, as we change as adults, we have to struggle with erroneous attitudes and stereotypes that were ingrained in us in childhood.

Of course, childhood is the most fertile period for laying the foundations of decency and kindness. So help your child become a good person in a simple and natural way - as they say, from a young age. So that later you don’t have to mature age make up for lost time.

· Explain to your child what is good and what is bad

· Help your child develop the right qualities, which we have already discussed above - honesty, responsibility, loyalty to your word

· Love your child and do not hide this love. A confident adult is a grown child who always knew that he was accepted for who he is.

· Be positive example- this is very important rule which many parents neglect. Remember and understand well: you are a role model for your children. You can spend a lot of energy explaining that you should always tell the truth, but all this will be canceled out if the child hears you lying. Is the logic clear? If you want to cultivate some quality in your child, you must possess it yourself. By and large, then there will be no need to educate. The child simply “reads” this information from you.

I would like to end with one simple thought - knowledge of how to become better, how to fix something, how to raise a happy child, and so on, is not worth anything in itself. Your actions are the key to success. To change something in your life, start working on it, start doing something for it every day. And then success is simply inevitable.

Our people have one common drawback that outweighs all common sense arguments. This is faith in the existence of a Good Man. Schoolchildren diligently write an essay on the topic “how to become a good person.” His parents set him as an example for their offspring: “ good kids behave decently." And managers reproachfully tell their subordinates “good workers work on Saturdays.” Who is he, this invisible hero - an image from Soviet films or a real inhabitant of planet Earth?

If you set out to describe an ideal hero, you have to use the prefix “not” too often: he does not offend, does not betray, does not deceive. But at the same time he is kind, sympathetic, noble and brave. Although, wait, this is “son mom's friend" After all, he was born only to be better than me. But no, no one saw him either.

Every person has their own list mandatory qualities this superhero: one remembers pride and self-sacrifice, the other remembers the ability to forget about one’s interests in the name of the common good. But for some reason the imagination begins to paint the image of a loser, a loser, a formless bore, whom everyone uses but does not respect.

The answer to the question “how to be a good person” - titanic work and an impossible task. Because such people do not live, they only confirm the high title of “good”. No room for error or bad emotions like anger and despondency. A man without own desires, because all the energy goes into fulfilling other people’s. Is he happy? Hardly.

Good man in general understanding- a convenient person. And in Slavic culture- just boring. The “normal person” – with all the passions and vicissitudes in life – enjoys much greater respect. He can be a womanizer or a monogamous man, a scientist or a builder, but not a scoundrel. So the question is easier to formulate in this form: how to become a normal person.

We talked with psychologists on this topic and came to the conclusion: in most cases, a good person evokes a feeling of pity, but not respect. Achieving the ideal is not only impossible, but also boring. But you can learn to be good to yourself. Then those around you will appreciate it. Here are a few points that we would never have paid attention to if not for practitioners in the field of psychology.

Allow yourself all feelings without dividing into good or bad

We gladly try on pride, trust, warmth, but categorically deny persecution, disgust, anger, and vulnerability. Because we’re used to it: wrong emotions are punished.

Those who are good at suppressing their own feelings are those who are afraid of their manifestation. They think: “if I give vent to my feelings, I will lose control of myself or, even worse, I will hurt my loved ones.”

Feelings are not the enemy. These are comrades who help you understand the details personal history. They appear without our desire. And they don’t go anywhere if you don’t give them a way out. Unrecognized feelings lie in the body in layers of irritation, dissatisfaction and very real physical illnesses.

What should I do? Ask yourself: how am I feeling right now? Close your eyes, try to imagine your feeling at this moment as accurately as possible. Do not spare paint, describe it in a grotesque form with exaggeration. If you want to scream, scream, if you want to cry, cry, stand on the table, be incredibly proud of yourself. Try on feelings like clothes. Perhaps you will like the new dress.

Learn to distinguish between pity and compassion

Many people confuse these two concepts. Pity gives you the opportunity to look down on a person. Like, I’m smart and from the height of my experience I understand how hard it is for you poor thing. A feeling of pity towards another person deprives him of internal support, the ability to independently cope with his experiences. More love is worse out of pity or total self-pity. It turns out to be a vicious circle: pity - an attempt to support oneself - failure - pity.

Have you noticed how mothers console their children?

Some say: “Poor thing, why are you so awkward?” or “who are you so unfortunate to be like?”
Others console differently: “I understand that the pen hurts. It’s okay, it will pass soon” or “Yes, it hurts, but you can handle it.”

Do you feel the difference? In the first case, the mother talks down to the child, maintains a feeling of helplessness and dependence on circumstances. As a result, the child grows up, but constantly needs someone else's shoulder. In the second case, the mother shows that she understands the child’s pain, is nearby, but at the same time allows him to survive the situation.

Empathy helps you accept another person with all his experiences, which is said “on an equal footing.” Share someone else's pain, but do not immerse yourself in it so much that it destroys you personally. Do not add additional suffering to your own, otherwise your heart will simply not stand it.

What should I do? Try to separate compassion from your own emotions. This doesn't work the first time. The easiest way is to sympathize without words, but simply empathize. Hugs help best with this. And empathy will help you learn compassion without suffering.

Develop empathy or the ability to empathize without destroying yourself

Empathy is more than a feeling. This is an opportunity to experience the same feelings as the interlocutor, but a little detached. Do not plunge into the abyss, but try to analyze the situation. The scheme is this: you understand other people’s experiences, you seem to take some of it upon yourself, but at the same time you involve not your own emotions, but your common sense. As a result, feelings are clear and shared, but the interlocutor also receives an “outside view.”

It is difficult to completely immerse yourself in the state of another. Or rather, it’s hard to get out of it without losses to your own psyche. Practicing psychologists master this science perfectly, because it is impossible to let other people’s suffering and pain pass through oneself every time. But this is exactly what clients come to a psychotherapist with. So we'll leave this to the professionals. It is quite possible to develop an interest in others and attention to their experiences.

What should I do? Master the method of active listening. This way you will eliminate the moment of competition and egocentrism. But lay the foundation for friendly relations.

• Ask your interlocutor how he feels at this moment. Remember that we are not interested in his past grievances or thoughts on the topic. Rely on feelings using questions:

What worries you most?

How did you feel in that situation?

• Don’t interrupt, don’t slip into your own examples, but ask clarifying questions:

You said you felt crushed. Did I understand correctly that...?

Let's get this straight: did you feel disappointed when...?

• Avoid statements like:

I know how you feel.

I think you were wrong about your feelings.

Results:

• Emotions and feelings without division
• Pity and compassion without suffering
• Empathy as a super sense

They will not make you a good person in all areas of life. They will help complement the list of qualities that you consider important. It cannot be otherwise in the country of Living People.

Do you need to be good?

Imagine the situation: you are lying on the operating table and see a surgeon approaching you. But his badge says “Good Man.” You ask if he has training and experience in surgery. To which he replies: “my mother says that I am good, my relatives and friends agree with this. Isn't this enough? Do you think you'd want him to start cutting you? That's it.

Sad but fact of life: We are loved not because we are good or bad. We are loved for the benefit we can bring to others. Unconditional love Happens to parents and children or close relatives. Everyone else, alas, expects us to benefit.

Everyone has their own secret and impossible list with answers to the question: how to become a Good Person. Although, the conclusion suggests itself: a good person is one who feels good. In the meantime, you can tell yourself: you, my boy/girl, are unique with all your shortcomings, folds on your sides, phobias and stupid habits. There is no such thing anymore. And only you can live in harmony with yourself.

Goodness (Good person) as a personality quality - ability in all life situations show your best qualities personality, dignity; the ability to conscientiously, exemplarily and responsibly fulfill one’s duties and responsibilities; behave decently and with dignity, manifest positivity, nobility and decency.

There is a well in the hot, dry steppe. There is a hut near the well. A grandfather and grandson live in it. There is a bucket on a long rope near the well. People are walking and driving - they turn to the well, drink water, thank their grandfather. One day the bucket came off and fell into a deep well. Grandfather didn’t have another bucket. There is no way to get water and drink. The next day, in the morning, a man in a cart drives up to his grandfather’s hut. He has a bucket under the straw. The traveler looked at the well, glanced at the grandfather and grandson, hit the horses with his whip and rode on. -What kind of person is this? – the grandson asked his grandfather. “This is not a person,” answered the grandfather.

At noon, another owner drove past his grandfather's hut. He took a bucket from under the straw, tied it to a rope, took out water and drank himself, gave his grandfather and grandson a drink, poured the water into dry sand, hid the bucket again in the straw and drove off. -What kind of person is this? – the grandson asked the grandfather. “And this is not a person yet,” answered the grandfather. In the evening, a third traveler stopped at his grandfather’s hut. He took a bucket from the cart, tied it to a rope, filled it with water, drank, thanked him and drove off, and left the bucket tied at the well. - What kind of person is this? - asked the grandson. “He’s a good man,” answered the grandfather.

You need to really be a good person, and not look like one. That is, we must strive at the expense of our constant spiritual development become a good person, not just look better in front of others. Goodness is not an evaluative category. Oscar Wilde also said: “It is pointless to divide people into good and bad.” It is impossible for everyone to be good. A good person is good in himself, even if he is completely alone, in a deserted desert, on desert island or in dead space. Goodness for the sake of goodness is deception and falsehood.

You cannot achieve goodness through pseudo-correctness, lackey obedience, slavish adherence to other people's influence and subordination. To really be good, you first need to become simple, kind person, that is, to fully demonstrate positive qualities personality, to live in the coordinate system of divine commandments, that is, to measure every action with your conscience as if God were constantly standing behind you.

Goodness is achieved through constant self-improvement, personal growth. Therefore, Democritus said: “People become good more from exercise than from nature.”

So what is human goodness? In the merits demonstrated in practice, in the conscientious, exemplary, responsible performance of one’s duties and responsibilities, in dignity, positivity and decency, in exemplary, decent behavior.

Good people are attracted to each other. When the heart is pure, it will immediately discern good people in the mass of people. In a word, a person with pure consciousness can see the qualities of other people. That is, only a good one can be insightful, honest man. You can't see stars in a dirty puddle. For the stars to reflect, you need clean lake. A good person clearly sees the virtues and vices of those around him. He recognizes himself in the virtues, but the vices of another person hurt his eyes and ears, scratch his soul, and literally knock him out of the normal course of life.

A good person has a special vision. Unlike a bad person, a good person sees good in another person; he, as it were, scans what he can be respected for. A bad person sees in others, first of all, shortcomings.

When you see what a person can be respected for, you don’t attach much importance to what he shouldn’t be respected for. A good person understands that finding faults is a vicious path. You will make it unpleasant for yourself, because it is unpleasant for a good person to think badly about someone. He feels remorse from this. He thinks approximately in this context: - Since I think badly about others, it means that I consider myself better than them. This is pride. Therefore, if I think badly about others, therefore, I myself am a bad person. What's the point of considering yourself good then? What is my goodness? He knows there are shortcomings, but he doesn't want to think badly. He wants to see the good. For what? Because he respects the spiritual nature in himself and in others.

A good person is friendly to people. To be good means to show true condescension towards people, that is, to condescend, that is, to descend from top to bottom, to the actions or state of another person, to be attentive to the situation in which he finds himself, while experiencing love and respect for himself . The more goodness is manifested in a person, the lower he can descend to understanding the actions, situations and states of another person. Joseph Addison said: "What better person“, the softer and more forgiving he is towards the shortcomings of others.”

A sage and a disciple are sitting at the gates of their city. A traveler comes up and asks: - What kind of people live in this city? -Who lives where you came from? - asks the sage. - Oh, scoundrels and thieves, evil and depraved. “It’s the same here,” answered the sage.

After a while, another traveler came up and also asked: “What kind of people are in this city?” - Who lives where you came from? - asked the sage. “Wonderful, good people, kind and sympathetic,” answered the traveler. “Here you will find the same ones,” said the sage.

Why did you tell one that scoundrels live here, and the other that good people live here? - the student asked the sage. “There are both good and bad people everywhere,” the sage answered him. - It’s just that everyone finds only what they know how to look for...

Ancient wisdom says that people whose minds are blocked by pride become the worst of people. Is it really worse than a degenerate - a drug addict? Yes, worse. O.G. Torsunov writes: “A degenerate can still somehow get out of this state (start listening), but a scientist, who is already at the height of society, is not able to hear and understand anything. He will never change his mind, he is unable to change anything in his life, and he begins to experience stages of degradation. The first stage of degradation is that he does not want to listen. Further, he loses his mind, and as he loses his mind, his character deteriorates. He starts to become very ambitious, he wants to be respected as before. But people gradually stop respecting him. What happens next? Further, as respect decreases, his anxiety increases, and as a result he becomes a despot: he begins to get angry with all his subordinates, he begins to get angry with everyone around him.” The process does not stop there - then he develops a neurotic, tense state of consciousness. This causes a lot of diseases. The next stage: people begin to avoid him. The world seems hostile and unfair to him, because he devoted his whole life to science, but has zero gratitude.

A good person does not have such problems. They consider him educated, worthy and respectfully shake his hand. He, too, for example, devoted his whole life to science and also became a professor, but the only significant difference between them is that one cared daily about cultivating his mind, and the other about cultivating pride.

Astrologers say that a good person is under the influence of Jupiter. Jupiter gives very good character. When a person has Jupiter in goodness, the person is very focused. His good character lies in the fact that he is always in a state of very great intelligence.

An anecdote on topic.

A girl from the outback went to study at a Moscow university. After some time, he writes a letter home: “Mom, dad, everything is fine with me, I pass all tests and exams on time, the rest of the time I devote myself to ping-pong.” Receives an answer from his parents: “Daughter, we are glad that everything is okay with you. And it’s okay that your friend is Chinese. If only the person was good."

We all want to be needed, we want to be remembered, waited for, loved. Everyone needs a good person, full of virtues. It's cozy and warm with him. Man with bad character, even if he has ten educations, no one needs him. He will be driven out of any job, as long as he does not poison the team with the poison of his own negative qualities personality.

Communication with good people gradually squeezes out of a person his vicious personality traits.

Petr Kovalev 2016

“Nothing can be returned. Nothing can be fixed. Otherwise we would all be saints. Life didn't mean to make us perfect. He who is perfect belongs in a museum" ©Erich M. Remarque

Treat other people the way you would like them to treat you. This may be a completely banal truth, but it demonstrates well what a good person should be.

Try to respect other people. Remember that sincere respect is incompatible with whims, rudeness or jealousy, authoritarianism or a sense of possessiveness.

Take care of yourself, be able to control your emotions and behave with dignity. If you ignore generally accepted rules and norms, then you will never become a good person. First you must learn to respect yourself.

To become a good person, never discuss or judge other people. Don't gossip about anyone.

Being a charming, pleasant and good person does not mean that you need to please everyone and try to please absolutely everyone. In order to become a good person, you do not need to be smarter, prettier and better than everyone else. To become a good person, it is enough to simply show attention, interest, empathy, and sincerity in communicating with people around you.

At the same time, remain adequate to the situation: if they humiliate you, try to deceive you or set you up, you have every right to defensive aggression and even anger. At this moment, you do not need gentleness and understanding.

Learn to respond calmly to criticism. Remember, the better your reputation, the more criticism you will receive. And if you do not treat her correctly, you will not be able to become a good person, because in criticism you will find a reason to be offended, upset, or even cause a scandal. Use critical comments as motivation for self-development, find constructiveness in criticism for yourself as an individual.

The ability to get out of things correctly will help you become a good person. conflict situations. A completely conflict-free person is not the same as a good person. Lack of conflict may indicate gentleness in character. But constant avoidance of conflicts most likely may indicate your fear of them, your inability to behave correctly in conflicts.

You must understand that it is simply impossible to live life without quarreling with anyone, no matter how kind and calm a person you are. To become a good person, it is not necessary to avoid conflicts, it is important to learn how to resolve them constructively.

Look for balance in everything. For example, in the same conflicts. You shouldn’t start a scandal if you think that you have learned how to behave correctly in conflict situations.

Be wise and remain prudent in any situation. And especially with those people who are looking for a reason to piss you off, thereby undermining your reputation or simply creating problems for you.

So, if you really want to become a good person, try to get rid of your shortcomings, or at least minimize the negative manifestations of your character.

Hypocrisy, weakness of will, apathy, cruelty, rudeness, envy, vanity, and rudeness are not characteristic of the character of good people.

Narcissistic, selfish, authoritarian, angry, narrow-minded, arrogant, vindictive, petty and greedy man can't become a good person. To do this, he needs to realize his shortcomings, work on himself, engage in self-development in order to change himself for the better.

Help your loved ones. Do not pass by someone else's misfortune, misfortune or troubles. Help in any way you can, with money, service or sincere empathy, it doesn’t matter, the main thing is to remain not indifferent in the lives of loved ones.

Do charity work and help others, absolutely strangers who need help. This way you can not only become a good person, but also feel like one.

Do well in everything you undertake - you should not be lazy, especially if you strive to become a good person. Good luck to you!