“How not to worry before speaking in public?” - this is a fairly pressing question for people of many professions and ages. For the first time we encounter a similar problem at school, university or at work. And if in the process of studying the fear of speaking in front of classmates caused only discomfort, then tasks from the authorities, where it was necessary to convey certain information to professionals, could generally put a person into a stupor.

But in reality, the fear of presenting in front of an audience is something that can be overcome. Below we will tell you in detail how to stop worrying before a performance. So let's get started.

Reasons for fear of public speaking. Children's phobias

There are different types of excitement on stage. But many people fall into approximately the same state, which is quite difficult to overcome: the audience turns into a frightening crowd, the voice sounds like it is not their own, their mouth becomes dry, their knees and hands shake. To understand how not to worry before a performance and overcome fear, you need to find out the reasons for its occurrence.

The first of them begins in childhood and is the most underrated. When Small child speaks loudly for the first time public place, then one of the parents silences him. Subsequently, this turns into a phobia and the person, on a subconscious level, begins to be afraid of loudly expressing his thoughts in front of an audience.

When a speaker's voice tightens, it causes anxiety and ultimately leads to fear. May well add fuel to the fire school teachers who belittle skills, and classmates who can easily hurt a speaker’s feelings without thinking about the consequences. All this provokes the emergence of social phobias and fear of performing on stage.

Fear of society

The second reason why we cannot make our public speech fearless lies in the psychological component of fear. Previously, it was synonymous with such a word as danger. I approached the edge of the abyss - I got scared and moved away, felt the cold - I immediately started looking for a source of heat. Under the influence of daily stress - study, work, political and economic upheavals in society - the instinct of self-preservation has changed significantly. As a result, people begin to worry in unjustified situations, including during public speaking. There are several reasons that awaken this fear in them:

• Poor knowledge of information necessary for speaking.
• Fear of slipping up or saying something stupid.
• Confidence that listeners will closely monitor the performance and evaluate it in a negative way.
• People are afraid of low level social activity.

Agoraphobia

This last reason fear of speaking in front of an audience. It is also known as Unlike the fear of people mentioned above, this fear is much deeper. Some people don't even realize that they suffer from this type of phobia.

Show yourself

Having figured out why the phobia of public speaking appeared, you need to convince yourself that this fear does not exist and there is no need to worry.

People who know how not to worry before a performance have realized one important thing. For them, public speaking is an opportunity to express best sides and evaluate your own skills in working with students. It is very important! Especially for specialists whose activities are related to communications. In this case, with poorly developed communication skills, their mood deteriorates, discomfort appears, productivity decreases, etc.

The benefits of speaking

Speaking fearlessly on stage is key to self-confidence. If you train your skills by expressing your thoughts in front of an audience, they will soon become automatic. Over time, the discomfort when communicating with people will disappear. What benefits can be gained from speaking in public? Below we list them:

• With the correct methodology for preparing for reports, your speech literacy will improve over time.
• At student summits or work conferences there are business and influential people. They will hear you speak and are likely to make lucrative offers in the future.
• During the preparation process, you can significantly expand your knowledge related to the topic of the speech.
• Experience communicating even with a small audience helps develop communication skills.

How not to worry before performing on stage and overcome fear

Of course, you can convince yourself that giving a speech in front of people is useful. The phobia will recede a little, but the fear itself will not disappear. You shouldn't fight him. It must be present for the audience to receive feedback from the speaker. Only fear needs to be controlled and known reliable methods overcoming it. After all, if you are too nervous, the report will be spoiled. Below are some tips to help you overcome your fear of speaking.

1. Rehearsal

Spend plenty of time preparing for your speech. You need to clearly understand what you are saying, and never bring your knowledge of the text to complete automatism. In this case, you can easily forget it as soon as stress arises. It is necessary to thoroughly study the topic of the speech and get into the essence for a better understanding. In addition, you need to have an idea of ​​how to present the text to the public. Speakers who know how not to worry before speaking are sure to work on this aspect. They understand how important it is to rehearse every step of a public speech. This is how a speaker gains confidence on stage. There is a conditional rule: one minute of performance requires an hour of rehearsal.

2. Speech clarity

3. Relevance of the topic

You need to know the composition of the audience in advance and find out what information will interest them. It is also worth thinking about how to involve the audience in the performance process. After all, any topic is easily covered with different angles and you can choose exactly the one that will be relevant to the audience. Therefore, it is better to first ask the organizers of the performance for lists of guests and study the areas of their activities. And then everything is simple - you need to connect your topic with their work, formulating the main theses of the report.

4. Conversation with the audience

To create a comfortable atmosphere for yourself and the audience, you can start a dialogue before the start of a public speech, talk with those present on abstract topics. After talking with the audience, you should smoothly move on to your report. This will help get rid of anxiety. And the audience will become much more relaxed.

5. Shifting the focus of attention

While on stage, you need to ask yourself: “Why am I standing here?” Excitement appears just when the speaker pays attention to himself, that is, he thinks about how he looks, how his voice sounds, etc. You should get rid of such thoughts. After all, the speaker goes on stage not in order to, but in order to convey to the audience useful information. Such an attitude will help overcome a baseless phobia.

How to not worry before a performance and stay confident

It happens that you cannot apply the tips listed above because you are too close date Events. At the same time, a phobia may not give a person peace. If you cannot get rid of it, then you should use the following methods:

• Just relax. This is one of the first pieces of advice from experienced speakers to those newbies who are wondering: “What should I do if I’m very nervous before speaking?” When your body is tense, you want to shrink and not be the center of attention. Therefore, it is necessary to relax so as not to reinforce psychological discomfort with physical tension.
• When performing, your posture should inspire confidence.: straight back, open position, both feet on the floor. It is better to move your supporting leg slightly forward for maximum stability. This position will ensure optimal blood circulation, which will deliver more oxygen to the brain, thereby reducing anxiety.
• To bring the body out of stress, you need to normalize your breathing. To do this, you need to inhale, count to four and exhale sharply. And so ten times in a row.
• If your voice often breaks down from excitement during a speech, then it’s worth doing speech gymnastics in advance: pronounce a speech without opening your mouth, pronouncing the letters as clearly and expressively as possible. This exercise will help relax the muscles of the larynx and face, as well as cope with anxiety. Be sure to bring water with you. Perhaps at the most inopportune moment your voice will disappear and you will have to interrupt the performance.
• If you experience trembling in your knees during a public speech, then mentally direct your attention to them. You can also trick your brain by consciously making your knees shake. After this, the trembling usually stops.
• To maintain contact with your listeners, be sure to look them in the eyes. This way you will show that public speech is aimed at their return and interest.
• If you make a mistake during a presentation, the optimal solution is to continue the presentation. There is no need to focus attention on it. Continue speaking as if nothing happened. After all, in addition to conveying information, it is important to be able to focus on the main thing. Therefore, if you succinctly omit the error, then no one from the audience will notice it.

Medicines for fear

Many novice speakers think about what to drink before a speech so as not to worry. Perhaps the most common sedative is valerian. But the psychological effect is more at work here. Therefore, we do not recommend taking any medications before the presentation. Improve your communication skills and over time the fear will disappear.

Conclusion

Now you know before performing on stage. Be sure to take advantage useful tips from this article. They will help you overcome fear, and speaking fearlessly in front of your audience will become your habit. After this, you will never again wonder what to do if you are nervous before a performance. When you first feel confident in front of an audience, you will understand that your existing phobia has receded, and life has become much more relaxed and beautiful.

How to stop being nervous? Rather, it’s worth figuring out not how to stop worrying altogether, turning into an insensitive mummy, but how to stop being nervous about every occasion, strengthening your nerves and minimizing energy costs. Everyone chooses their own way, someone tries to heroically solve an endless stream of problems, and someone pretends that it’s not their eye that is already twitching. But the beauty is that no matter how much you hide from the nervous and problem situations, no matter how much you ridicule them, it will give a temporary effect of relief without solving the main task of eliminating the root cause.

Meanwhile, he continues to worry about unresolved issues, i.e. background anxiety remains, and the clump of problems grows, and when the strength to cope runs out, a person is faced with the scale of the tragedy, forcing him no longer to be nervous, but to fall into depression. The desire to resolve all irritating issues is more effective, but problems do not end and issues requiring intervention arise every day, not to mention irritating factors and people.

How to stop being nervous and become calm

For some people, the question of how to stop being nervous and worried is the most pressing in their life; usually, for such individuals, all matters are important and urgent, the future is filled with worries because it is unknown, and there is not enough time in the present. Constant worry does not provide an opportunity for relaxation, because when one problem is solved, another is immediately discovered, and the quiet corners where no one gets on your nerves are over.

This is long and hard work, by definition, with its own system of priority goals in order to solve problems that are important now (i.e. if the cutlets are burnt, then focus on saving leftover meat and ventilating the kitchen, and not on the quarterly report, nerves about which and led to burnt cutlets). Rumination about the past should also not take up much time, especially negative experiences where you replay the conversation and select new answers, if these are situations where you continue to be nervous about your reputation - all this unwinds the nervous system, leading to its instability. At the same time, you cannot change these events, but you will still have time to harm what is happening in the present moment with your semi-absent state and bad mood, triggering reasons for worries in a circle. So conscious presence in the present moment of your life is the key to an adequate and full feeling of life, removing unnecessary empty experiences regarding unchangeable things or possible but not happened events.

To figure out how to stop being nervous and worried, you need to understand the mechanism by which such a worldview arises. Usually behind the increased is a person’s habit of inflating his negative emotional condition, exaggerate the significance of minor troubles. To become calmer, you will have to not just swallow tranquilizers, but carry out serious intrapersonal transformations that require both external changes lifestyle, as well as internal ones, affecting the motivational sphere and the ability to concentrate and determine what is important.

For peace of mind, it is necessary to eliminate the causes of anxiety, and they may not always be expressed external factors in the form of annoying neighbors or constant incidents at work, since this happens in everyone’s life. Quicker we're talking about about the presence of internal factors that contribute to the perception of the situation overly emotionally, giving it excessive significance and not letting go over time. Among the qualities that contribute to the development of nervousness is , which, on the one hand, implies the importance of only own opinion, and it would seem that it should free a person from worries, but everything turns out to be the opposite, since one’s own importance is too inflated and requires constant feeding and admiration of the outside world. A self-centered person is not sensitive to others, but is extremely vulnerable to criticism of himself; add increased attention to the reactions of others and we get manic fixation, which can cause serious worries due to the sidelong glance of an unfamiliar passerby.

The need to always be on top gives rise to a constantly elevated level of anxiety and tension, which leads to irritation over the smallest reasons and an overly sensitive attitude even to those moments that would not bother an ordinary person, such as the rudeness of a salesman or an insult from a drunk. Somewhere next to egocentrism lies the need for constant pleasure and pleasure, while everyday affairs, work, obstacles to pleasure cause excessive irritation, and a person does not calm down until he reaches the desired nirvana. The aspiration is good and characteristic of absolutely all people, but it is a priori unattainable, because life is not beautiful picture the Garden of Eden and also consists of necessity and pain, the need to endure and postpone one’s pleasure. If you do not learn such qualities, then the world can seem very cruel and cause a lot of resistance - reactions quite similar to adolescence, when the universe stops revolving around one's desires, but forces him to earn what he wants.

If the first two reasons are a product of , then among the characteristics of a more mature structure that prevents living in peace, independence also leads. Perfectionism forces a person to strive for the impossible, bringing every detail to perfection (this is how not only leaves but also dust can be swept out of the yard, a sweater can be re-knitted a dozen times, and a table for passing a diploma can be measured to the nearest millimeter). In addition, such exactingness is distributed not only to one’s own life, but also to the actions of others, causing a lot of irritation.

The requirement for perfection in everything gives rise to a lot of reasons for worries that are groundless and do not lead to results, so lowering demands and increasing the ability to enjoy what is happening and the imperfect world can bring more peace to the life of a perfectionist. Independence, as a factor that causes nervous feelings, manifests itself in its extreme forms, when a person cannot delegate responsibilities and pulls everything on himself. From such a state of overload, even little things begin to irritate, and freer friends will be fueled by a negative attitude towards others and the desire to prove their toughness by overcoming everything on their own.

The second manifestation of independence, as a factor that disturbs inner peace, is the independence of the opinion and structure of one’s personality and life from social norms; in such cases, a nervous reaction will be caused by any collision with rules that cannot be explained logically (for example, why it is necessary to come to work at eight and sit until five, if you can show up at ten and leave at four, having completed the same volume, but with better quality due to better health). Such people need to either develop their own system of life, going into private practice and freelancing, surrounding themselves with like-minded people, or try to find the advantages of the established system, which still cannot be broken.

Trying to do everything as quickly as possible, to resolve all tasks in one day is commendable, but encounters many obstacles in the form of the leisurely participation of the people involved, closed doors of the necessary structures and slowly moving escalator stairs. If your speed is higher than those around you, then you can be nervous while you are rushing them indefinitely; it is better to try to do other things while you wait: if you are sitting in a queue, then instead of crazy and nervous comments towards the recipient, you can do your mail, watch a training video or write the necessary article. Keep track of the time you are nervous, because in fact you cannot change the situation and use it in another useful way.

How to stop being nervous over trifles

You can't do without worries. They make us alive, show the significance of not only positive events, but also indicate problems, perform all sorts of useful functions, but how to stop being nervous about every reason that is not significant, making you worth thinking about. Ignore this condition, suppress attacks of irritation, or wait for a better period to come, if possible long time, That Negative consequences will appear in the form of accumulation and growth of tension to a state where it is ready to spill out at the slightest provocation in an inadequately destructive manifestation. It’s great if you can find useful moments even in dirty tricks and turn minor troubles into positive signs(for example, if you are stuck in an elevator, you can be happy good reason be late for work and take a nap while you are freed from metal captivity). The ability to see the positive comes from the ability to accept both good personal qualities and events, as well as bad ones. And the desire to display only approved traits and adjust everything that happens to perfect option often makes you focus on the negative. If it is critically important for you that everything goes perfectly, then you will control the course of all events and especially opportunities not according to the script, the number of things requiring your participation, experience and control will increase. This all resembles a self-fulfilling prophecy, because worrying about the ideality of what is happening, you overload yourself with responsibility and nervousness so much that the chances of making a mistake increase.

Try to relax and be able to accept imperfections. Both in the manifestation of your individuality and in the world, such an attitude relieves you of unnecessary tension and worries, and automatically improves the situation, and even if it does not improve, it does not destroy your mood and health. In the end, it is much more important to remain calm than to have bows tied in the same way, to adhere to time frames down to the second, and to comply appearance the latest trends in Milan.

Nerves over minor issues reveal problems in mood and stability nervous system, and if you do not work to improve her condition, then you can remove irritating factors ad infinitum, but this still will not help stabilize the emotional background, since the problem is located inside the body. To reduce the load on the central nervous system, it is worth temporarily eliminating or minimizing the consumption of substances that have a stimulating effect on it (caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, narcotic substances, some hormones), instead it is worth introducing into the diet a higher intake of B vitamins, which are responsible for the good functioning of neural connections and the conductivity of nerve pathways. During periods of nervous overstrain and stress, you should definitely support your central nervous system with the help of appropriate vitamin complexes or herbal decoctions. Ensure yourself a productive and rewarding vacation not only in vacation period. Let there be one day a week completely free from work issues, you can even turn off your phone so that they cannot find you and pull you out, putting pressure on your sense of responsibility. Quality sleep is the basis for restoring neural pathways, and switching activities promotes real rest.

If you spent the whole day looking at the monitor, came home and stared at the tablet, this will not reboot your nerves; you’d better take a walk or go to the gym. If your work involves physical activity, then on the contrary, it is better to spend the evening at the cinema, reading a book or quietly communicating with your family. Follow a daily routine so that your psyche is prepared for the fact that at a certain period it will have to work at full capacity, but then within the designated period it will get its rest - unsystematic behavior leads to disruption and destabilization of the psyche.

If you notice that having adjusted your own life, providing the nervous system with decent conditions, nothing in your nervousness has changed, then contact a psychologist who may determine the development of neurosis (which happens if you pretend for a long time that everything is normal) or help identify the real reason problems (perhaps you are depressed by your relationship with your spouse, then no matter how much you take vitamin complexes, his presence will irritate and provoke disruptions in the functioning of the nervous system and only termination or restructuring of the relationship will help).

How to stop being nervous and worrying

You can stop worrying by limiting your fixation on the situation and work. Of course, you should anticipate various options for the development of the situation and take into account bad outcomes, but this does not mean that all thoughts should be devoted only to this. Weakening of the nervous system by worrying about the future or imagining things various options the past will not help you get rid of your worries. During the onset of anxiety, you should take care of the present situation, instead of anticipating future events. Learn to stop your mental flow and narrow your area of ​​perception to current moment in those moments when you are overwhelmed by emotions, this way you can direct the rising energy in a constructive direction, instead of fraying your nerves. It helps not to worry about future troubles by talking (perhaps even mentally) about what is happening in this moment(you are chewing an apple, crossing the road, making coffee - even the funniest thing said out loud brings you back to the present).

By analyzing possible failures, and then looking at the number of those that have occurred, you will get a conclusion about your good imagination. Most of all the horrors depicted by our anxiety never come true, but nerves about this are quite real, affecting the general resource of the nervous system and the quality of health of the whole organism. If you can’t get rid of thoughts about possible failures, then you can always change their course and instead of spinning the plot up to the point of a horror movie script, start thinking about ways to solve the problems that arise, or better yet, look for the benefits that can be derived from what happened. Knowing how to handle the situation, it becomes not a problem for us, but only a certain stage, and if we see a certain benefit for ourselves in this, then the fear and worries about its occurrence finally leave the emotional sphere.

Take a break from prolonged concentration on difficult or problematic issues, trying to walk more, saturating the body with oxygen, playing with pets (this activity, by the way, is a great stress reliever). You can play a game or meet friends, visit interesting event and add a little adrenaline to your life (this hormone also helps fight stress, brings you out of panic and into a state of effective activity, and can also reboot your brain and give you a new vision).

If you are often nervous and worried, then add movement in the form of exercises or fitness, jogging or a pool membership - it’s all about your preferences. In addition to helping in the processing of various heavy symptoms, physical activity promotes the production of endorphins, which ultimately helps to see the world in less dark tones and, accordingly, worry less.

Aromatherapy and are excellent helpers for stabilizing the nerves. There are special mixtures of scents that have a relaxing and calming effect, as well as works that affect your emotional state and entire collections of them. All this can be found at the nearest pharmacy and downloaded to your player, the only thing is that it will take time for a noticeable effect to occur. Therefore, try to do sessions regularly, it is especially good to combine them with other types of care for your nerves, for example, doing meditative practices accompanied by appropriate relaxing music, in a room filled with aromatherapy scents. In situations where your nerves are completely at their limit or have been under the test of circumstances for a long time, if you no longer control your emotional outbursts and can scream or cry unexpectedly for yourself, it makes sense to take sedatives. They, from harmless valerian to serious tranquilizers, should be prescribed by a doctor, taking into account all the characteristics of your body, since most of them also affect the heart, the speed of reactions, may be contraindicated or even require antidepressants. In addition, a specialist may recommend working with a psychologist to resolve situations that led to such a condition and even issue a sick leave to restore the nervous system.

How to stop being nervous and learn to enjoy life

Nerves in a shattered state can seriously ruin your life, so it’s worth slightly adjusting your daily activities so that there is a place for relief from accumulated tension, and therefore an opportunity to look at the world positively. Be sure to try to take a daily walk; jogging after the bus while being late for work does not count - you should have time during which you will have the opportunity to get tired of the experiences you have received during the day and reflect. Let it be returning from work through the park or an evening walk along the neighboring pond.

Start clearing the emotional rubble, which contains old grievances and accusations, unsaid words and childhood complexes - all this is difficult and takes a lot of time, and the efforts of the spirit are colossal, because the experiences there are far from wonderful, but after cleansing and freeing yourself from such a burden, you will be able to feel , as there are more reasons for joy, and fewer things will cause a strong emotional reaction. Tune in to a positive perception of yourself and instead of constant criticism, let your inner voice speak encouraging speeches. Take care of your own life, protecting its happiness, because only you know what can make you happy. Of course, you want your loved ones to guess what can make you happy, but the more you silently wait for this, shifting responsibility for your happiness onto others, the more complaints accumulate against them, the more their smiles begin to irritate.

Give up the rush and the desire to do everything perfectly; instead, you can learn time management techniques and the ability to see beauty in flaws, since it is in them that uniqueness is hidden, and everything ideal is stereotyped and similar to each other. Avoid excessive stress; after work, you should have energy left for hobbies and friends, for your development and gaining new experience. To do this, learn to ask for help without fear that your reputation will suffer; on the contrary, people will begin to treat you warmer, besides, many want to be useful and like to help.

Fill your day with positivity: you can communicate more with and reduce communication with, exclude people who escalate the situation, making you nervous. Do unusual and funny things on ordinary and identical days, share it with others, you can even set yourself the goal of becoming as funny as possible, then the mood will be wonderful and what previously made you nervous will become just a reason for another joke.

Do what you love - it is always a source of peace and new life resources. Practice on principle, no matter what happens, and you will notice that by introducing this rule, all your nerves and worries will remain behind the doors of the workshop, dance class, laboratory, whatever you like.

A serious conversation with loved ones, speaking in front of a large crowd of people, reporting to your superiors about the work done, passing an exam - these and other events often make a person “sweat.” All people are susceptible to anxiety, regardless of training, gender and age. A purely psychological feeling is an emotional experience that clouds the mind. The person cannot think or take any action. This raises the question of how to cope with anxiety.

What does anxiety lead to?

• low self-esteem;
• lack of confidence in one’s professionalism;
• weakness in the limbs, shortness of breath;
• inappropriate behavior in public (loss of self-control);
• severe stress and, as a result, prolonged depression;
• loss of appetite;
• complete lack of concentration, disorientation;
• negative result in solving a specific problem.

Exercises to combat anxiety

1. When a person is worried, his breathing becomes irregular and his heart rate skyrockets. Try to calm down. Take several long breaths in and out with your eyes closed. Try to perform the manipulations slowly and confidently at the same pace. You should not puff out your cheeks or hold your breath; the diaphragm should open completely.
2. Need to move. Perform a mill with your hands or wave them from side to side. Some public figures massage their hands when they are nervous before a performance. Do the same when shaking the lower extremities (massage of the feet and calves).
3. Often, uncontrollable anxiety occurs due to a large release of hormones into the blood. To bring the indicator to the optimal level, gently pat yourself on the palm of your hand. chest. Activation of the thymus gland will allow you to calm down faster by controlling hormonal imbalances.
4. People who are very nervous before speaking behind the podium should get a small item. It is important that no one notices this thing during the speech. Handle a keychain (pen, lighter, paper clip, piece of fabric, etc.) in your hands. By doing this, you will calm your thoughts and take them in a different direction.
5. If you have an important event coming up that you don’t have time to prepare for, take 2-5 minutes for a little trick. For a given period of time, first rise on your toes, then slowly lower. Next, roll your shoulders clockwise and counterclockwise. Alternate the movements of your limbs.
6. When anxiety takes you by surprise right during serious negotiations, while at the table, begin to bend and straighten your toes. Try to focus on the sensations you receive, transferring your thoughts there. You can also squeeze your earlobes with all your might, the main thing is that your manipulation is invisible.
7. An excited person looks constrained before a performance or other serious event. The muscles don’t seem to obey, so they need to be forced to work. If your legs are shaking, do 10-20 squats. In the case of hands, do push-ups from the floor or bench. Abdominal pumping and others will not be superfluous physical exercise that can distract the body.

Method number 1. Prepare for the event

1. Often, excitement takes people by surprise who are poorly prepared for the upcoming event. If you are soon planning a speech, report or speech, gather necessary materials and literally memorize them.
2. Practice in front of the mirror until you like yourself. Then gather friends or strangers (even better), speak in front of them and ask for an objective assessment.
3. Think over your image in advance, namely makeup, hairstyle, clothes, shoes. You must look 100% perfect. Don’t forget to provide for incidents (torn tights, smudged mascara, bad pen, etc.).
4. If you are soon giving a speech to a large group of people and then giving answers, think in advance about the possible questions that people will ask. Your answers should be brief but meaningful, and your speech should be confident and professional.

Method number 2. Remember past victories

1. In most cases, anxiety occurs due to low self-esteem and remembering past defeats. However, you need to come from the other side.
2. Take a piece of paper and write down all your strengths. Don’t forget to mention your victories (defending your thesis with excellent marks, passing your license on your own, getting a prestigious position, etc.). Realizing your own professionalism will instantly relieve you of anxiety.
3. Analyze past situations. Surely you were also worried before, but everything went well. So it is this time. Anxiety only confuses you, preventing you from focusing on what’s important. Say to yourself: “I will succeed!”, “I am confident and strong in what I do!”

Method No. 3. Increase your self-esteem

1. People who are unsure of themselves and their own abilities often worry about anything. To get rid of emotional discomfort, you need to love yourself.
2. Increase your self-esteem in any way possible. Sign up for Gym, take courses personal growth, overcome bad habits.
3. Enlist the support of loved ones who will objectively evaluate your behavior. With every increase in self-esteem, anxiety will disappear.

Method number 4. Pause before your main speech

1. This method will help you cope with anxiety in cases where your arms and legs tremble before a conversation (a formal speech, a performance, etc.). Don't start talking right away, wait 10-15 seconds.
2. The specified period of time is necessary in order to “pull yourself together.” If you immediately start talking, your thoughts will be confused and disordered.
3. A pause will help build logical chain and partially relieve anxiety. This way you won’t forget the speech you’ve been preparing for for so long. Control your breathing, it should be smooth, without jumps.

Method No. 5. Don't be afraid to make a mistake

1. There are often cases when a person’s hands begin to tremble for the most ridiculous reasons. On a subconscious level, all people who perform soon are afraid of making a mistake.
2. It is important to understand that the audience will not throw eggs at you if you forget a word or drop your pen. Every person is imperfect, accept this statement.
3. From now on, think differently. Think about the fact that a small mistake will not lead to dismissal, unless you directly call the boss an “asshole.”
4. Throughout a serious conversation or speech, imagine shaved sheep trying to jump up a tree. Or make up another funny fantasy for yourself.

Prepare thoroughly for the event by studying psychological techniques fight anxiety. Play sports, believe in your own strengths, increase your self-esteem. Watch your breathing, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, remember past victories. Prepare a small thing that you can touch in your hands to normalize the psycho-emotional background.

Video: 5 effective ways to cope with anxiety

In this article I will talk about how to stop being nervous. I will explain how to remain calm and cool in any life situation without the help of sedatives, alcohol and other things. I will talk not only about how to suppress states of nervousness and calm down, but I will also explain how you can stop being nervous in general, bring the body into a state in which this feeling simply cannot arise, in general, how to calm your mind and how to strengthen the nervous system.

The article will be structured in the form of sequential lessons and it is better to read them in order.

When do we get nervous?

Nervousness and jitters are that feeling of discomfort that you experience on the eve of important, responsible events and activities, during psychological stress and stress, in problematic life situations, and you’re just worried about all sorts of little things. It is important to understand that nervousness has how psychological so and physiological reasons and manifests itself accordingly. Physiologically, this is connected with the properties of our nervous system, and psychologically, with the characteristics of our personality: a tendency to worry, overestimation of the significance of certain events, a feeling of self-doubt and what is happening, shyness, worry about the result.

We begin to get nervous in situations that we consider either dangerous, threatening our lives, or for one reason or another significant or responsible. I think that a threat to life does not often loom before us, ordinary people. Therefore, the main reason for nervousness in everyday life I consider situations of the second kind. Fear of failure, of looking inappropriate in front of people- all this makes us nervous. In relation to these fears, there is a certain psychological attunement; this has little to do with our physiology. Therefore, in order to stop being nervous, it is necessary not only to put the nervous system in order, but to understand and realize certain things, let’s start with understanding the nature of nervousness.

Lesson 1. The nature of nervousness. Necessary defense mechanism or hindrance?

Our palms begin to sweat, we may experience tremors, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, confusion in our thoughts, it is difficult to gather ourselves, concentrate, it is difficult to sit still, we want to occupy our hands with something, smoke. These are the symptoms of nervousness. Now ask yourself, how much do they help you? Do they help cope with stressful situations? Are you better at negotiating, taking an exam, or communicating on a first date when you're on edge? The answer is, of course not, and what’s more, it can ruin the whole result.

Therefore, it is necessary to firmly understand that the tendency to be nervous is not a natural reaction of the body to a stressful situation or some ineradicable feature of your personality. Rather, it is simply a certain mental mechanism embedded in a system of habits and/or a consequence of problems with the nervous system. Stress is only your reaction to what is happening, and no matter what happens, you can always react to it in different ways! I assure you that the impact of stress can be minimized and nervousness eliminated. But why eliminate this? Because when you're nervous:

• Your thinking ability decreases and you have a harder time concentrating, which can make things worse and require your mental resources to be stretched to the limit.
• You have less control over your intonation, facial expressions, and gestures, which can have a bad effect on important negotiations or a date.
• Nervousness causes fatigue and tension to accumulate more quickly, which is bad for your health and well-being.
• Being nervous often can lead to various diseases(Meanwhile, a very significant part of diseases stem from problems of the nervous system)
• You worry about little things and therefore do not pay attention to the most important and valuable things in your life.
• you are susceptible bad habits:, alcohol, because you need something to relieve tension

Remember all those situations when you were very nervous and this negatively affected the results of your actions. Surely everyone has many examples of how you broke down, unable to withstand psychological pressure, lost control and were deprived. So we will work with you on this.

Here is the first lesson, during which we learned that:

• Nervousness does not bring any benefit, but only hinders
• You can get rid of it by working on yourself
• In everyday life there are few real reasons to be nervous, since we or our loved ones are rarely threatened by anything, we mostly worry about trifles

I will return to the last point in the next lesson and, in more detail, at the end of the article and tell you why this is so.

You should configure yourself like this:

I have no reason to be nervous, it bothers me and I intend to get rid of it and this is real!

Don’t think that I’m just talking about something that I myself have no idea about. Throughout my childhood, and then my youth, until I was 24 years old, I experienced big pain. I couldn’t pull myself together in stressful situations, I worried about every little thing, I even almost fainted because of my sensitivity! This had a negative impact on health: pressure surges began to be observed, “ panic attacks", dizziness, etc. Now all this is in the past.

Of course, I can’t say now that I have the best self-control in the world, but all the same, I stopped being nervous in those situations that make most people nervous, I became much calmer, compared to my previous state, I reached a fundamentally different level of self-control. Of course, I still have a lot to work on, but I’m on the right path and there is dynamics and progress, I know what to do.

In general, everything I’m talking about here is based solely on my experience of self-development, I’m not making anything up and I’m only talking about what helped me. So if I had not been such a painful, vulnerable and sensitive young man and, then, as a result of personal problems, I had not begun to remake myself - all this experience and the site that summarizes and structures it would not exist.

Lesson 2. How to stop being nervous about anything?

Think about all those events that make you nervous: your boss calls you, you take an exam, you expect an unpleasant conversation. Think about all these things, evaluate the degree of their importance for you, but not in isolation, but within the context of your life, your global plans and prospects. What is the significance of an altercation on public transport or on the road on a life-long scale, and is it really such a terrible thing to be late for work and be nervous about it?

Is this something to think about and worry about? At such moments, focus on the purpose of your life, think about the future, take a break from the current moment. I am sure that from this perspective, many things that you are nervous about will immediately lose their significance in your eyes, will turn into mere trifles, which they certainly are and, therefore, will not be worth your worries.

This psychological setting helps a lot stop being nervous about anything. But no matter how well we set ourselves up, although this will certainly have a positive effect, it will still not be enough, since the body, despite all the arguments of reason, can react in its own way. Therefore, let's move on and I will explain how to bring the body into a state of calm and relaxation immediately before any event, during and after it.

Lesson 3. Preparation. How to calm down before an important event.

Now some important event is inexorably approaching us, during which our intelligence, composure and will will be tested, and if we successfully pass this test, then fate will generously reward us, otherwise we will lose. This event could be a final interview for the job you dream of, important negotiations, a date, an exam, etc. In general, you have already learned the first two lessons and understand that nervousness can be stopped and this must be done so that this condition does not prevent you from focusing on the goal and achieving it.

And you realize what awaits you ahead an important event, but no matter how significant it is, even the worst outcome of such an event will not mean the end of your whole life for you: there is no need to dramatize and overestimate everything. It is precisely from the very importance of this event that the need to be calm and not worry arises. This is too important an event to let nervousness ruin it, so I will be collected and focused and will do everything for this!

Now we bring our thoughts to calm, relieve the jitters. First, immediately throw all thoughts of failure out of your head. In general, try to calm down the fuss and not think about anything. Free your head from thoughts, relax your body, exhale and inhale deeply. The simplest breathing exercises will help you relax.

Simple breathing exercises.

It should be done like this:

• inhale for 4 counts (or 4 pulse beats, you need to feel it first, it’s more convenient to do this on the neck, not on the wrist)
• keep the air in for 2 counts/hits
• exhale for 4 counts/beats
• do not breathe for 2 counts/beats and then inhale again for 4 counts/beats - all from the beginning

In short, as the doctor says: breathe - don’t breathe. 4 seconds inhale - 2 seconds hold - 4 seconds exhale - 2 seconds hold.

If you feel that your breathing allows you to take deeper inhalations/exhalations, then do the cycle not 4/2 seconds but 6/3 or 8/4 and so on.

You just need to breathe with your diaphragm, that is, with your stomach! During times of stress, we breathe rapidly from the chest, while diaphragmatic breathing calms the heartbeat, suppressing the physiological signs of nervousness, bringing you into a state of calm.

During the exercise, keep your attention only on your breathing! There should be no more thoughts! It is most important. And then after 3 minutes you will feel relaxed and calm. The exercise is done for no more than 5-7 minutes, according to how it feels. At regular classes breathing practice not only helps you relax here and now, but also in general puts the nervous system in order and you are less nervous without any exercise. So I highly recommend it.

You can see my video on how to do diaphragmatic breathing correctly at the end of this article. In this video I talk about how to cope with panic using breathing. But this method will also allow you to get rid of nervousness, calm down and pull yourself together.

Other relaxation techniques are presented in my article.

Okay, so we are prepared. But the time for the event itself has already arrived. Next I will talk about how to behave during the event so as not to be nervous and to be calm and relaxed.

Lesson 4. How to avoid nervousness during an important meeting.

Pretend to be calm: even if not emotional mood, nor breathing exercises helped you relieve tension, then at least try with all your might to demonstrate external calm and equanimity. And this is necessary not only to mislead your opponents about your current state. Expressing outer peace helps to achieve inner peace. This works on the principle feedback, not only your well-being determines your facial expressions, but also your facial expressions determine your well-being. This principle is easy to verify: when you smile at someone, you feel better and more cheerful, even if you were in a bad mood. I actively use this principle in my daily practice and this is not my invention, it is really a fact, it is even written about in Wikipedia in the article “emotions”. So the calmer you want to appear, the more relaxed you actually become.

Watch your facial expressions, gestures and intonation: The feedback principle obliges you to constantly look inside yourself and be aware of how you look from the outside. Do you seem too stressed? Are your eyes shifting? Are the movements smooth and measured or abrupt and impulsive? Does your face express cold impenetrability or can all your excitement be read on it? In accordance with the information about yourself received from your senses, you adjust all your body movements, voice, and facial expression. The fact that you have to take care of yourself in itself helps you get together and concentrate. And it’s not just that with the help of internal observation you control yourself. By observing yourself, you focus your thoughts on one point - on yourself, and do not let them get confused and lead you in the wrong direction. This is how concentration and calm are achieved.

Eliminate all markers of nervousness: What do you usually do when you're nervous? Are you fiddling with a ballpoint pen? Are you chewing on a pencil? Tie it in a knot thumb and the little toe of the left foot? Now forget about it, keep your hands straight and don’t change their positions often. We don’t fidget in our chair, we don’t shift from foot to foot. We continue to look after ourselves.

Take your time: rush and bustle always sets a special nervous tone. Therefore, take your time even if you are late for a meeting. Since any rush very quickly disrupts composure and a calm mood. You begin to nervously rush from one to another, in the end you only provoke excitement. No matter how much you are rushed, do not rush, being late is not so scary, it is better to save your nerves. This applies not only to important meetings: try to get rid of haste in every aspect of your life: when you are getting ready for work, traveling in public transport, doing work. It's an illusion that when you rush, you achieve results faster. Yes, the speed increases, but only slightly, but you lose a lot in composure and concentration.

That's all. All these principles complement each other and can be summarized in the call “ watch yourself". The rest is specific and depends on the nature of the meeting itself. I would only advise you to think about each of your phrases, take your time with your answer, carefully weigh and analyze everything. No need to try to impress everyone accessible ways, you will produce it anyway if you do everything correctly and don’t worry, work on the quality of your performance. There is no need to mumble and get lost if you are caught by surprise: calmly swallow, forget and move on.

Lesson 5. Calm down after the meeting.

Whatever the outcome of the event. You're on edge and still feeling stressed. It's better to take it off and think about something else. All the same principles apply here that helped you pull yourself together before the meeting itself. Try not to think too much about the past event: I mean all sorts of fruitless thoughts, what if I had performed this way and not that way, oh, how stupid I must have looked, oh I’m a fool, what if...! Just throw all thoughts out of your head, get rid of the subjunctive mood (if), everything has already passed, put your breathing in order and relax your body. That's all for this lesson.

Lesson 6. You shouldn’t create any reasons for nervousness at all.

This is a very important lesson. Typically, a significant factor in nervousness is the inadequacy of your preparation for the upcoming event. When you know everything and are confident in yourself, why should you worry about the result?

When I was studying at the institute, I missed a lot of lectures and seminars, went to the exams completely unprepared, hoping that I would pass and somehow pass. In the end, I passed, but only thanks to phenomenal luck or the kindness of the teachers. I often went for retakes. As a result, during the session I experienced such unprecedented psychological pressure every day due to the fact that I was trying to prepare in a hurry and somehow pass the exam.

During the sessions, an unrealistic number of nerve cells were destroyed. And I still felt sorry for myself, I thought that there was so much that had piled up, how hard it was, eh... Although it was all my fault, if I had done everything in advance (I didn’t have to go to lectures, but at least the material to prepare for the exam and pass I could provide myself with all the intermediate control tests - but then I was laziness and I was not at least somehow organized), then I would not have to be so nervous during the exams and worry about the result and about the fact that I would be drafted into the army if I I won’t hand over something, because I would be confident in my knowledge.

This is not a call not to miss lectures and study at institutes, I’m talking about the fact that you need to try yourself Do not create stress factors for yourself in the future! Think ahead and prepare for business and important meetings, do everything on time and not delay last moment! Always have a ready-made plan in your head, or better yet several! This will save you a significant part of your nerve cells, and in general will contribute to great success in life. This is a very important and useful principle! Use it!

Lesson 7. How to strengthen the nervous system and how to stop getting nervous over trifles

In order to stop being nervous, it is not enough just to follow the lessons that I outlined above. It is also necessary to bring the body and mind into a state of peace. And the next thing I will tell you about will be those rules, following which you can strengthen your nervous system and experience less nervousness in general, be calmer and more relaxed. As a result of this you will understand how to stop being nervous over trifles. These methods are focused on long-term results; they will make you less susceptible to stress in general, and not only prepare you for a responsible event.

• Firstly, in order to correct the physiological factor of nervousness and bring the nervous system to a state of rest, you need to regularly. This is very good for calming the nervous system and calming the mind. I’ve written a lot about this, so I won’t dwell on it.
• Secondly, go in for sports () and take a set of health-supporting measures (contrast showers, healthy eating, vitamins, etc.). IN healthy body healthy mind: your moral well-being depends not only on mental factors. Sports strengthens the nervous system.
• Walk more, spend time outdoors, try to sit in front of the computer less.
Diaphragmatic breathing during a panic attack

It happens that we are looking for complex recipes to improve the quality of life. We think: “If I go to yoga, I’ll immediately become calmer.” And of course, we don’t go to yoga. And we have a heartfelt excuse - why do we feel so bad? There is no good yoga in the area! Sadly...

Nevertheless, there are primitive quick-fix self-help remedies that have been used for centuries in cases of stress, irritation, frustration, in a situation where someone or something is eating your brain out.

They were used for recommendations by general practitioners (and not only) of the old school. One of those who took the patient by the hand, and this already made him feel better. Self-help tips were taught by physical therapists, massage therapists, and athletic trainers. Now advice is more expensive and more difficult to formulate. Self-help is suppressed, this is not a market approach.

And we'll go back to the old ones good times, when self-help was encouraged.

Method 1: Get distracted by something

This method of relieving emotional stress is suitable in cases where you are trapped, driven into a corner and cannot escape anywhere. For example, sit at a planning meeting and listen to your boss, internally boiling. You can’t escape, but... Being distracted by the contemplation of something extraneous, neutral and being carried away by this extraneous thing - The best way Don’t beat yourself up over trifles.

For example: “However, what is Masha’s manicure like... I wonder how she did it?”

This only works if you yourself understand the benefits of such a strategy - don’t look at the nasty, don’t listen to the nasty. If you like to fume and get into arguments, that’s your right.

Method 2 Leave an annoying situation (aka emotional zone)

Did something make you sad at someone else's birthday? On a picnic? You can’t stand some group, public page, page social network? Do you dream of removing an unpleasant person from your friends list?

So, we quickly left the group forever. They banned an argumentative provocateur, a troll, a boor, a fool. Deleted your profile, if that happens.

Quickly call a taxi (don’t squeeze, don’t squeeze), kiss the hostess and rush home - away from the party, away from the barbecue, away from the irritating, emotional zone.

Method 3 Drink some water

This is already the signature recipe of all brilliant therapists who do not sell dietary supplements from pharmaceutical corporations.

A glass of water, drunk slowly, stops everything famous sciences seizures. The first thing they offer a person who has suffered something terrible is a glass of water. Drinking water triggers the body's self-rehabilitation mechanism. Most often, people feel ill for two reasons:

• hysteria (sympatho-adrenal crisis in another way),
• dehydration of the body that was not noticed in time.

Since we don’t listen to our body and don’t teach healthy lifestyle, we drink tea, coffee and soda all day - we all have dehydration, and you have it too. Go drink a glass of water right now, and then read on.

Method 4 Get involved in an exciting, interesting activity

This method is suitable in a situation where you cannot be “let go.” You need to break the stuckness of chewing “And they, And I, And fuck them all” with something cool, even if it’s stupid and tasteless. Reading a detective story. Computer game. Hunting and gathering. Surveillance and tracking. An attempt to reveal someone's secret. Even by spying and eavesdropping, damn it.

You must be involved in the intrigue, in the detective story, in the rapid development of events, in the hunt, in the game, in courage, in flight.

Your ears should lift and your tail should twitch.

You yourself know what can captivate and amuse you. Everyone has their own, individual thing. Just don't get carried away with this surveillance. Don't harm anyone.

Method 5 Physical discharge

Everyone is familiar with this method firsthand, but, as usual, no one cares. And I remind you once again that rapid physical discharge, which includes:

• walking,
• swim,
• general cleaning of the apartment (possibly someone else’s),
• sex,
• destruction of trash,
• work in the garden,
• dance,
• mopping floors and washing by hand

relaxes twisted muscles and relieves stress and frustration fantastically effectively. General washing by hand even helps to cope with grief - again the advice of the old doctor, which I share with you.

Method 6 Come into contact with water

Washing dishes is a free session of hypno-psychotherapy. The sound of clean running running water relieves our fatigue and takes away with it all the “dirt,” not just household dirt.

In addition to washing dishes, there is a well-known classic: take a bath, take a shower, go to the sauna, go early in the morning or in the evening - swim in the sea, in the river, in the lake, in the spring. Refresh yourself, in short.

Method 7 Positive reframing of a stressful event

So much has been written about positive reframing (including by me) that I don’t want to repeat myself. I'll just give an example:

“It’s so good that it turned out that I won’t go anywhere this summer! I'm finally taking classes in English, for fitness and also for self-development courses! When else would I allow myself such a “useless” luxury? And in the summer there is low season everywhere and there are only discounts around. So I’ll save money too!”

Method 8 It could have been worse, it was even harder for others

Are you not satisfied with the outcome of the event? Imagine that there could have been a worse outcome. Imagine how bad it is for some people around you. If you master this art and stop turning your nose up at this strategy, then you will not need any psychotherapy at all.

Method 9 Laughter kills everything scary and terribly important

Ridiculing, reducing, vulgarizing something inflated and important is an ancient recipe of human culture, dating back to the Neolithic. Thanks to grandfather Bakhtin for his term “carnival-laughter culture.” Read it, take an interest.

Or watch one episode about the adventures of SpongeBob Square Pants. When he was terrified of speaking at a school seminar, a smart squirrel gave him super glasses. Wearing these glasses, SpongeBob saw all the students and the teacher... in their underpants. That was funny! True, out of laughter, he never read out his report. And what kind of panties did the teacher have... Mmm...

Method 10 Counting to 10

Just read until ten. Slowly. Controlling your inhalations and exhalations. To myself, not out loud. This is the recommendation of doctors and sports trainers.

Method 11 Cry

Crying relieves stress. With the tear fluid, the body leaves the toxic substances that are formed under the influence of stress hormones. If you can’t cry about your own things, come up with a pitiful topic and specifically cry over it.

Method 12 Verbalization of everything that is on your soul

Pronunciation or verbalization is putting a vague “something” into clear words. However, great thing. Or better yet, write it all down on paper, write a long letter.

Just don’t send it anywhere!

Here are 12 tips for dealing with stress and the diseases that stress then causes.

These 12 are those that help us and do not require money for it. And the rest is expensive and from charlatans.